NatalieN

Hello:

This is the third time I come to this forum to ask for your support and encouragement. The first time was during a business trip *back in June. The second time was during my MIL's 70th birthday party at my home in July. You guys were very supportive both times and logging on here to check your encouraging posts kept me sober.*

This time I am going away with hubby and dd10 for a few days. I haven't craved alcohol in a few months now. I am a couple of days short of 4 months of sobriety and feel very secure, but I know cravings can come out of nowhere and want to be able to come here for your help and support.

This forum is one of the most helpful recovery tools in my toolbox. I use it often even if I don't post often. To all of you who post here regularly and those *who manage this forum my most sincere thanks and appreciation.*

Natalie

Dee74

We're always here whenever you need support Natalie
Have you got a plan for all those things that might happen on your trip?

D

Lenina

good to see you again Natalie!

Love from Lenina

NatalieN

Hey Lenina great to hear from you.

Dee other than not picking up no matter what and not ever changing my mind, and coming to read here, no, not really. I have finally understood that I can actually make that choice (not picking up) It's a very empowering realization.

CarolD

Welcome back....and glad to know you are dooing well...

Hope the 3 of you have a safe fun filled trip.

redneckrecovery

Glad youre here Natalie!!! Keep upnthe good work and fighting the good fight. Im not overly religious but i keep a bible or aa book close by. Also when i get cravings i use my smart phone to come here. Just remember you are never alone in your struggles!!!

NatalieN

Thanks Carol.
RNR thank you. I am glad you have tools that work for you. I listen to Eckhart Tolle audiobooks on my iPhone and am currently reading "Drinking, A Love Story". Books about alcoholism written by women who have struggled with this problem are very powerful tools in my recovery. For some strange reason books by male authors just don't do that. Go figure.

Day one is over but I actually don't want this short vacation to end. My business trip was torture and I couldn't wait for 5:00 pm to go to my hotel room. Now, I am writing this from my hotel room and can't wait for dh and dd10 to wake up to go downstairs to indulge in the free carbs-filled breakfast and start exploring this little town. Amazing what 4 months of sobriety do.

I feel so grateful. I read somewhere that gratitude for one's sobriety is insurance against drinking. Last night we went to a little Italian restaurant and my dh had his usual beer. I had water with lemon juice and felt so good drinking it.

I was sober for 6 1/2 years before but never felt so joyous, so free. This time around I am not taking sobriety for granted. It's a wonderful way to live.

Our very existance is a miracle. Sobriety allow me to ponder and marvel. When drinking, life ceases to be amazing. Life IS amazing. It just is. I mean, right now we are on a ball, rushing through space at mind boggling speed, something like 500,000 miles per second I believe. Just ponder on that and see if the high of a pint of vodka can top that awesome feeling of mistery and reverence.

Back to more mundane things now. A bagel is waiting.

Thanks for your support and best wishes to you guys.
Natalie

NatalieN

Day 3 and ready to go back. I received bad news today and there is nothing like the comfort of one's home when one's depressed. Grateful to have realized that there is NOTHING alcohol won't make worse.

I just want to crawl under my covers and feel sorry for myself but I know better. I am going to a used book shop I saw this morning to find me an uplifting book to read.

Natalie

ReadyAndAble

Good for you, Natalie. Your addiction will grab bad news and milk it for all it's worth. But you know better.

And guess what? When your sober head hits the pillow tonight, it will turn out that this was a great day after all. A day in which you've been true to yourself, and in which you've provided an inspirational example for others.

You're succeeding at the most important and challenging thing of all—reclaiming your life. How awesome is that?

NatalieN

You are so right ReadyAndAble. Because I stayed sober I was able to have a wonderful talk with my oldest daughter, the source of the sad news. She is in an unstable marriage and her crisis have a way of affecting me very negatively. I feel responsible for her poor conflict resolution skills. I drank throughtout her formative years. You are right that it turned out to be a great day after all. The talk we had was wonderful. I was calm and supportive. Explained to her that she is responsible for her emotional recovery and that it is ok to leave a bad relationship and get help. I could have never done this if I drank. When drinking, I always believed it was always her fault. I see better now. Things are clearer and I am able to observe the circumstances from a removed place as alcohol no longer has me entangled in relationships that aren't my business.

I am so grateful for this realization. I feel like the universe is holding my hand and somehow know sobriety is responsible. I love my sober lmperfect life.

Thanks,

Natalie

NatalieN

Grateful for the lessons learned on this trip. Everyone is flawed and vulnerable. Everyone has issues. Some flaws are more visible than others, but no one is exempt.

Most people are afraid of something, mainly of the unavoidable emotional pain associated with living life.

I drank because I was afraid of this emotional pain. I believed I wasn't strong enough to withstand it and numbed it each chance I got.

Well, I am strong enough I've found out.
I can live life on life's terms. This trip and the incident with my daughter were lessons used by life to teach me this valuable and life saving lesson.

I love my sober life

Natalie*

freshstart57

Natalie, I bet you are so very pleased with your success, your newfound self knowledge. I can hear your self confidence grow with each post on this thread. I like to think about sobriety as a muscle that gets stronger with each challenge successfully met, and you are getting very buff it would seem.

I could see that this was going to go well for you from your early post that said, Think about this one for a minute, if you will, it might be scary. You have done this most difficult thing through belief in yourself and the knowledge that you can achieve what your mind is firmly set to achieve. What is next? What else can you achieve? Since you have done this, what limits truly exist for you?

I am so happy for you, Natalie. Congratulations to you, and to those close to you too.