soberlady2012

Is there a certain point along this journey where one can safely guarantee they will never go back to drinking? People who have been sober for 5 years, 10 years+ seem to have little relapse rates compared to those who have been sober less time (in particular a year or less). Is this because they've learnt to deal with better coping mechanisms over time or because they've reached a point where they know they will never return to drink? I know programmes like AA teach one day at a time but living day to day can be hard for some people. I've recently started thinking (and i'm only on day 22) that I may be able to regulate my usage and just have a blow out every 3 months or the likes. I know this can never happen as moderation is the issue but If theres so am hoping theres a point you reach where you know you will never touch it again. In particular thoughts from those with health issues who know if they did ever drink again, they may need a transplant ect.

tomsteve

i have been in recovery for 7+ years. i was at the point of desperation when i got into recovery. get help stopping drinking or kill myself. i know that if i have another drink, the chances i kill myself greatly outweight the chances i will get back into recovery.
i can only do that one day at a time.

Kza

I think you are being way too optimistic. 22 days of not drinking and now you are watering down the sobriety to not drinking to excess except for occasional blow outs. It is the alkie talking.

bryangt

For me it was the end of the line...I got my 3rd DUI over a period of 12 years and was facing jail time & loss of license for 10 years....enough is enough. I know I can never have just one...I tried regulation my drinking previous times after being sober for months and it just does not work IF you are an alcoholic. And I wasn't an everyday drinker. BUT when i drank I DRANK--full out. AS tough as it is to move forward at times (now almost 18 months sober)..I realize that nothing will get better if I relapse. I have had thoughts, but at this point I don't want to let myself, my family & friends down who have supported me through one of the toughest periods of my life.

CarolD

I've been an AA recovered alcoholic for 23+ years.
My connection with God took away my drinking ovcession.
My AA lifestyle has proven to be a fantastic way to live.

During those years I've had all sorts of reversals ..deaths of
dear family and friends...health issues...financial limitations

Celebrated marriages and new babies ...re located...changed careers
All sorts of interesting and positive changes.....

No I won't be drinking ever again.
Why on earth would I want to go backwards?

looking4oldme

My mother was sober for 27 years, most of my life. Shes never seemed to be tempted to me, my sister and I have had drinks infront of her and she never once double looked at it, and we'd ask her if it was ok. She would talk about drunks like she despized them. Every time we drove if one car swerved a little bit they were in her eyes "just a drunk".

Two weeks ago she called me, and said I had a horrible day at work, so guess what im doing.. drinking a beer! A day later she called me again and said "oh my god, I forgot how good tequila was". Yesterday she called me crying " Its out of control, I've lost my life again" Suddenly shes trying to sneak beers into work, shes drinking one when she wakes up. Shes drinking one when she smokes a cig, shes drinking one before a show after a shower, during dinner, after dinner, before bed. All the time. Its only been two weeks. 27 years sober, I never in my life thought for a second she would be the one to pick the bottle back up.

Its crazy, how the beast on our shoulder will always be there, maybe sleeping for years, but will tempt again.

Kza

Are you saying that you are never tempted?

soberlady2012

If i'm totally honest theres only two things stopping me - my new job and the withdrawls. I've been through several failed attempts before to stay clean but the last set were very bad and I realised I couldn't keep going through them. I'm a bit worried about my health too so guess thats another factor. So many different reasons here, its all good to share different ways of coping

CarolD

I did return to alcohol ..more than once ..before I began
living the AA way. The Steps set me free.
No temptation after that.

freshstart57

Every program is different, but I think that AA is the only one that teaches one day at a time, which is an effective approach for some people.

Other programs work on the premise that you can quit for good right now if you choose to. In fact, AVRT teaches that any thought of ever drinking again, including that blowout in 3 months, is just the voice of your addiction working its evil on you. Regulating your consumption and moderation is just another way of saying that you will give yourself permission to have another drink.

Never drink again? You betcha. Any idea to the contrary is just a thought from a voice that I no longer pay any attention to. I just recognize it for what it is.

doggonecarl

Commit to never drinking, truly commit, and I say you have an excellent chance of success.

If you contemplate "regulating your usage" as you put it, you will have a 100% chance of succeeding at drinking.

Choose wisely.

Kza

That is about the size of it.

RobbyRobot

Just to be clear, AA proper does not actually teach getting or being sober or recovered "one day at a time" which is actually just a slogan, probably brought over from the Oxford Group. These slogans are not a part of the AA program or the Alcoholic Anonymous Book. They are certainly part of the AA culture now after all these years.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Frequently Asked Questions About A.A.'s History

Safely guarantee to never drink again is very workable and possible. There are many ways forward to safely live a life always free from ever getting drunk again. It really though is the responsibility of the recovered ex-drinker to live the life required to uphold that guarantee. Any program or way can only be as successful as required because of the veracity of the original commitment to never drink again.

I'm 31 years recovered from alcoholism, and I'll never drink again, and I've been saying so since my last drunk, 31 years ago. So, its working for me. I don't stay sober one day at a time, never did, never will, I'm sober for good and all. I am AA sober, and I practise AVRT too.

The power and promise of the guarantee is simply a choice made, and not a special detail learned, or a special tool or technique used, or even a hidden secret knowledge only revealed to those who really, really want to stay sober.

Wanting whatever has little to do with staying sober for ever. Its really about doing what is required, and living a life-style which supports and nourishes continuing to doing what is required.

Knowing what is required to safely quit for life is different for each ex-drinker to discover for themselves. Each person must come to their own understanding of what a sans-alcohol life really is for them.

Unfortunately, addictive ambivalence, mental obessesion, alcoholic minded thinking, selfishness, self-centeredness, mental and emotional challenges, mental and physical illnesses, past life-style failures, present circumstances, future concerns and worries, and so on... all these experiences work against the veracity of the original commitment and so against the guarantee.

People, being human, fall short of their hopes and dreams. Alcoholic drinking blurs the lines between reality and delusion. People quit on quitting and in doing so, the guarantee is not realised.

So, yeah, it can be done. It is also possible to become happily recovered in shorter chunks of time too. Forever is another choice, not the only choice, and not for everybody. As for is it the best choice, that is a matter of personal taste, and an aquired one at that, imo.

I will now not ever drink again.

yeahgr8

I remember getting to AA for the last time, found a guy who agreed to be my sponsor and he said to me try not to think about never drinking again just don't drink one day at a time. He told me his story of how he had come into AA at summer time and kept going on at the old timers about what would he do at xmas without drinking, they said dont worry about xmas just get through today and do the stuff you need to do to progress.

When he told me to just live one day at a time and try not to think about never drinking again it was amazing because i knew that he must have a solution if he was warning me about not thinking about the fact that i never have to drink again if i do the work in AA (the steps)...the first thing i asked him was do you mean i never have to drink again and he replied no never, i felt like i'd just found the winning ticket to the lottery...

I'd do a lot "worse" things than i ever did when drinking and then have to deal with them but all of this i will be doing sober...hopefully i won't be doing too many of those things but hey let's face it my life in active addiction was a living hell for me so there's not going to be much that will be worse in the future!

That's probably the most non-sensical post i have ever done but hey i'm tired, you get the jist of it!

sugarbear1

I have no desire to drink again. I live in today. I plan for my future, I don't regret my past, but I live in today. It's that simple for me and I work the steps.

onlythetruth

I was done from the day I made my decision. Sept. 2, 1998.

At the start there was temptation but there's been none for years.

I've had good days, bad days and lots of days in between. But when I made my decision, I really meant it. I will never drink again.

least

I never want to drink again. It makes me so sick in so many ways. I'm so much better off without it.

Threshold

I knew I would not drink again when my daughter made a mixed CD with this song on it...Cold War Kids- We used to Vacation WITH LYRICS [Desc] - YouTube

We Used To Vacation lyrics
I kissed the kids at noon
then stumbled out the room
I caught a cab
ran up a tab
on 7th and flower

best recital I had to ruin
missed my son's graduation
punched the Nickles boy
for taking his seat
gets all that anger from me

still things could be much worse
natural disasters on the evening news
still things could be much worse
we still got our health
my paycheck in the mail

I promised to my wife and children
I'd never touch another drink
as long as I live
but even then
it sounds so soothing
this will blow over in time
this will all blow over in time

I'm just an honest man
provide for me and mine
I give a check to tax deductable
charity organizations
two weks paid vacation won't heal the damage done
I need another one

still things could be much worse
natural disasters on the evening news
still things could be much worse
we still got our health
my paycheck in the mail

I promised to my wife and children
I'd never touch another drink
as long as I live
but even then
it sounds so soothing
to mix a drink
and sink into oblivion

I promised to my wife and children
that accident
left everyone a little shook up
but at the meetings
I felt so empty
this will blow over in time
this will all blow over in time

gravity

You know, I've seen so many people who have relapsed after years of sobriety that I can't in all honesty guarantee that I will never drink again, that it can't happen to me. I do, however, believe that if I stay on my current path (AA, spiritual growth), I will be just fine. One day at a time...some tougher than others. 4 years, 8 months now.

ReadyAndAble

Wow, really great posts here. Awesome.

"Never" initially seemed like a huge mountain to climb. The ultimate test. Now I realize that the day I fully embraced "never," I started to make things a lot easier on myself. There was no more need to ponder the Great Question, no more Great Debate bouncing around in my head. I will never drink again. End of story. You can carve that shizat in stone.

Funny thing is, I totally embrace the underlying principle of One Day at a Time in many other areas of my life. Go figure.

Give it time, SL. I bet in another few weeks, you'll start getting those fancy new sober shoes of yours broken in, and feeling nice and comfortable.