Sudz No More

Some days several in a row I will get massive Alcoholic OCD. It happened The last three days, this worries me at times but something has definitely changed. I have acquired the ability to walk away from it. I was never able before but I felt perilously close the last few days and still found the strength to say no.

All these emotions just well up within me. Whether it be guilt of failure if I give in or a positive vision of sober things I like that will be ruined if I drink. In the past, these safeguards I tried to put in place to help me stay sober never worked. I always eventually gave in but maybe I just am reaching a point finally where somewhere deep inside I have said enough is enough.

I was actually a little shocked at myself today how so matter of fact I just left the compulsion hanging there to die. It was a strange yet wonderful feeling.

I have lived to see another sober day, one by one. With each success I grow stronger and I don't want to give it away and take a step back.

Carry on, carry on.

To another great sober day to you all.

freshstart57

Yep, Sudz, the compulsion is no longer compelling for you. It's there, but it no longer requires action from you. Look at it very closely, bring it into the light of your focus, see it for what it is. It's nothing anymore, just a nasty stinking shell, shrinking as it dries up, turning to dust in front of your eyes.

Bye Now!

instant

Sudz. Well done. Let the struggle wash over you

candi7

Self-realization is an awesome thing!