sj999

Hi all -

I just wanted to post and get some feedback/see if anyone else had similar experiences. I'm a 26-year-old female and I definitely (along with all of my close friends) drank way too much in college, really just on the weekends (pulled perfect grades but then would essentially binge drink every weekend). I blacked out plenty of times, once hitchhiked home by myself drunk in the city where I went to school, and did plenty of other stupid, stupid, stupid stuff. Towards the last couple of years I started having bad stomach problems if I drank more than 3 or 4 drinks - so even if I wasn't that drunk, the next day I would get violently ill and vomit for hours until I would be left dry-heaving. I've had to go to the hospital to get IV fluids & nausea meds for this a handful of times (sometimes even after having 4 drinks over the course of the night with water and food). So yeah - in hindsight, I see that this was not ok or normal (but unfortunately among my circle of friends at the time it also didn't seem that crazy).

Things have calmed down quite a bit in the last couple of years, and I'd say since college, MOST times that I have drank, there have been no issues. I'd say 4 out of 5 times I drink nowadays, I consciously cut myself off after a certain number of drinks, am careful to drink water and there are no really awful consequences occurring. BUT there have still been incidents here and there that have given me pause. I got upset one night in April when out and drank WAY too much, blacked out, and was VIOLENTLY ill the whole night and also apparently **** myself (none of which I remember). That was really the worst night in the last probably... 5 years. But I've definitely had a few other nights where I drank just a little more than intended and got very sick the next day (as described above). And there have also been times where I've had a drink in the evening at home by myself specifically because I was stressed or upset.

Most recently, I decided I wanted to try this Paleo nutrition challenge where you cut out sugar/grains/alcohol/dairy for 30 days, because I've just been generally feeling unhealthy. On the second day, I was supposed to go out with a couple friends after work, and I planned in advance to just get a club soda while I was out with them - but I stressed about this way more than I think might be normal, and I ultimately decided that it was ok to just have one glass of wine. I wound up having 2 glasses and several other drinks, and staying out till midnight which was NOT the plan. Nothing really bad happened - I actually had a nice evening overall and wasn't especially drunk, but I was REALLY upset with myself the next morning for not staying true to my intentions.

Writing all this out, it seems clearer that seriously quitting alcohol would probably be a good idea for me. I just get confused because I'm a lot better with it than I used to be, and many of the times I drink it's not out of control. I also go some weekends without drinking without a second thought. I guess I'd been thinking more that I didn't want to drink while I was trying to improve my diet, because alcohol can stimulate sugar cravings for me and obviously ruin my willpower to eat well, but what happened the other night really sort of struck a chord with me for some reason and I've been feeling strange about it ever since. The most confusing thing for me too is I can say this/write this all out here and objectively looking at it I'd probably say it's a problem, but then pretty much everyone I know socially would never believe that because a) they see me as very "together" and I'm a very high-functioning person, and b) there seems to be a general attitude among everyone my age that I happen to know that it's not that bad or crazy to have these kind of blackout nights.

So I guess my questions are... does this seem problematic enough that I should be seriously thinking about quitting drinking (for good, not just for this 30 day thing)? And also just why is this occurring to me NOW, as opposed to at a time when there were actually much worse consequences occurring with my drinking?

David 1

My take is that if you are not an alcoholic, it will be very easy to not drink at all for 90 days.

It sounds like you have good health reasons and wellness goals to not drink, so don't.

Make a firm commitment, stick with it and see how you feel and handle not drinking. Don't over think this or try and rationalize your drinking by comparing your drinking patterns to others.

I have no idea why this seems to be bothering you more now, but it doesn't really matter in my opinion, especially if you make the 90 days.

Dave

Threshold

Why is it bugging you now rather than before?

In my experience, as I age my priorities, joys, fears etc change. Things shift around in importance, or I read something or see a friend go through something and it causes me to take another look at my own feelings.

There are things I used to do that don't give me a rush anymore. There are things that I used to not care about, that matter more to me. My friends report the same thing.

Some people have problems with alcohol, not all of us have the same problems. I know people who don't drink because they didn't like it when their parent's or spouse drank. Others don't like the taste. Some people stopped because it made their friends uncomfortable or their stomachs hurt. Some stop because drinking has become a 24/7 nightmare.

No apologies necessary.

If in any way shape or form alcohol has become a problem or concern in your life, these forums have something to offer you.

When I was younger, I could eat lettuce. Now it makes me violently ill. So I don't do it, but every once in a while I think that there is NO good reason to avoid something as benign as lettuce and I have some. I get violently ill. So I don't eat it, because it's not worth it to me. It's not like I had an issue where I was hiding head of lettuce under my bed, or eating so much salad at a sitting that people were concerned about me. I could go days without eating lettuce and not crave it...but the fact was, when I DID eat it, I got sick. That was reason enough for me to stop.

I'm not being flippant, just pointing out that drinking and drugging don't HAVE to be THE overwhelming factor in our lives for us to choose to stop. We don't need permission to stop before we are no longer functional or our friends are planning an intervention. On any day of the year, for any reason or no particular reason at all, it's OK for anyone to say "I'm done" and then come here and talk with other people who have made the same choice.

flutter

I've heard "if you have to control something, it's out of control".

To answer your question, yes I think it would be good to lose the drinking. I have yet to regret not drinking. I think a lot of us can look back and think about when we first realized "hey, this might be a problem" and ignored that little voice..most of us regret not listening to that too, would have saved many years of struggling, bad choices, and lack of control.

aeo1313

Try going 90 days without drinking and see how you feel. I was/am still, not sure if I am an alcoholic or not, but I have been sober 115 days and feel pretty darn good. I am able to stick to a diet and exercise routine without hangovers and greasy food derailing me.

I have been out with friends in these past few months who drink and I've been ok with not drinking. Give sobriety a shot and see how you feel. If nothing else you will be able to follow the Paleo challenge.

sj999

Thanks so much everyone. All your replies make a lot of sense. I think I was mainly having trouble with the social aspect of people pressuring me to drink and not feeling like I had a "good enough" reason why not to if it wasn't this HUGE problem for me, but I am just going to have to be firm in my resolve. I'm interested to see how hard that will be for me.

MrsKing

Giving up alcohol for 90 days, as has already been suggested, seems to be something that is suggested a lot for people who are unsure whether they have problems with alcohol or not. Apparently your body/brain needs 90 days to completely rid it of habit. I'm not sure I totally agree with that or not, but I think 90 days is a better way to judge than 30 days. If you have no difficulty in those 90 days then apparently you are probably OK.

I don't think it really matters why you are concerned now. I don't think it really matters about the 90 day thing. I think what matters is that if alcohol is causing you any mental/physical anguish then you are probably better off without it. If not forever, then for the time being. It's not worth the constant worry and upset just for a glass of wine.

Welcome to SR & I wish you all the best x

sj999

Thank you. Any tips as to what to say to friends who are inquiring a lot as to why I'm not drinking (because this certainly will happen)? I will also dig around the forums a bit as I'm sure this has been asked plenty of times before...

aeo1313

Just say fitness/nutrition reasons

MrsKing

In almost five months of not drinking I've actually had hardly anyone comment on why I'm not drinking. They probably saw it coming. I was so, so anxious about those sorts of comments coming but they never really did. If someone did question me, I just said "I've had enough of it" and that was fine. I only had one experience of someone almost BEGGING me to drink, over and over again, and it was quite uncomfortable but I didn't let it get to me. People never seem to really care as much as we think they will. As aeo said, health reasons is always a good one to cite.

SlimSlim

sj999

If you've been feeling generally unhealthy and have had issues severe enough to require hospital treatment, I recommend you consult with a doctor before you make any radical changes that would effect your health, including the Paleo nutrition challenge. If it were me, I would be concerned about the vomiting and dehydration the day after drinking.

Binge drinking is very common in college these days and the majority move on to be social drinkers or non-drinkers. The 90 day thing sounds like a good idea to me.

CarolD

Another way to look at this....why is drinking a liquid toxin
so important to you?
It's my expereince that peer
pressure only happens when you surround yourself with drinkers.

Welcome ...

sj999

SlimSlim, I actually asked my last PCP about the vomiting/dehydration issue and she completely shrugged me off and dismissed me as a hypochondriac (and probably assumed I was just drinking more on those nights than I said I was). But I do have a new doctor now and have a physical coming up, so I do plan to try to bring some chronic issues up with him. Thank you for the concern & advice. And Carol, thanks for the welcome. :-)

sj999

Sorry to revive such an old thread, but easier than rehashing so much of it! I did quit for drinking a period of a couple months and even managed to go out a couple of times with friends and not drink over the course of the night. However, over the last year I've had a lot of excuses to not go out or to not drink when out - I was taking a difficult course in the fall and studying for a big standardized test in the spring, and now I'm at my family's home recovering from surgery. In the short period between my exam and my surgery, I went out several weekends in a row and honestly was kind of shocked at how quickly my tolerance increased and I found myself drinking WAY more than I intended too (no "off" switch it kind of seemed like) - sneaking extra during pregames to make sure I had "enough," or grabbing sips of other people's drinks out. Also while I felt GREAT not drinking and didn't crave alcohol when I wasn't in social situations, I've had a lot of anxiety surrounding the idea of quitting drinking, which again kind of leads be to believe that it's probably a good idea. I also just kind of have a gut feeling that deep down I want to quit.

So anyway, I'm currently still sheltered away from "real life" while I'm home recovering and will be for a few more weeks even when I go back due to being on crutches/having a lot of work to do for some applications. It seems like I've mainly been "successful" at not drinking when I've had the cover of something like studying or work as an excuse to just not go out, but that's also not a great way to live. So I think once I'm back and able to walk better (leg surgery) I am going to try out going to a meeting. There are tons in my city, and while I don't feel compelled to drink on my own, I think it would be nice to talk to people who understand a little better and maybe gain some better strategies for coping with social situations where I want to drink.

Nothing really pressing going on at the moment, but just thank you for listening!

sugarbear1

Thanks for the update!

How'd the paleo diet go?

Have you come up with a plan for those social situations?

sj999

Paleo eating is going really well! I'm HOPELESSLY addicted to sugar, and cutting it out completely along with avoiding grains/flour has really helped with cravings. I feel more even-keel and calmer, and sleep a lot better too. It's another great reason not to drink, as alcohol gives me RAGING sugar and carb cravings.

I'm not sure yet how I'll handle social situations. I'm trying first and foremost to do more non-bar activities with friends. Went F1 go-karting the other weekend, which was super fun! I think what will probably work best for me and feel most comfortable is to just be casual in turning down drinks and take it as a one-day-at-a-time thing. So just say "oh no thanks I'm good for now" or something along those lines. I'm sure once I do this a few times and see it's not a huge issue I'll feel better. I have a few friends who are more likely than others to press the issue, so might have to spend less time with them (and rethink how great of friends they are honestly), but I think most wouldn't make an issue of it. I also love seltzer so that comes in handy! Would definitely be great to find a few friends who don't drink though.