cheese1

Is it normal to feel like your greiving for your love of alcohol, i know i have to stay sober but i am finding hard to get over the fact i can never drink again . Not even a sip.

It feels almost like alcohol is a dead relative. Cant help but love and miss them but now theyre bad news

Dee74

I think a lot of people here will say it's normal Cheese.

For me it was like getting out of a toxic relationship...I was glad to get out - but I'd been in that relationship a long time, and I knew my life would have to change completely now....

Noone would stay sober if they felt they lost out on the deal tho - I've never regretted my decision. Life is awesome now

Stick with it Cheese- it gets better

D

spryte

yes yes yes...when I stopped I cried and cried and cried for the loss. Drinking was my most loyal friend; I had given up a lot for it and it was always there for me. Dee is right though - it was like an abusive relationship....and it does get better once you kick it to the curb and make some changes. A LOT better.

Mark75

Oh HELL yes...

But we come through it and become happy it's gone.

sissy07

Yeah, I felt a loss when I first quit drinking. I think tht is because it was the highlight of my day. The secret is to find other things to be happy about. That doesnt take long...I got a lot more energy and some long-gone interests that had been unavailable to me because drinking and hangovers that became my life. Stay sober. You will eventually become your old self and find happiness in things you never consider when you are drinking. Rearrange your life and how you spend your time. Find some sober friends. Realign your priorities. Find the respect for yourself that has been missing. That is the stuff that makes life worth living. Best wishes. Oh - and it takes time...won't happen overnight, so you have to hang in there!

Sudz No More

Yes for me as well, I bet most of us will say yes. It was like losing an old friend in the beginning but I'll tell you what. That old friendship turned into a feud and I hate that "friend" now. Bothers the hell out of me and won't leave me alone.

Still, I think most of us go through a mourning period. After all, it was quite the love affair wasn't it? Now it is time to move on and you know that. Good for you.

edward73

I cant drink very well, tried it, tested and proven for me hospitals, institutions ouch jails prison and death hoping I wouldnt wake up then. well many attempts to be like others countless vain attemps. blackouts insanity I lost my drivers license at age 15 with a open container in car. Mom was sober and I was pretty messed up so now at 38 im gonna keep trying one day at a time. Dont know if this helps but I have over 24 hrs sober and look forward to a lifetime of sobriety. OK Thnx I hope

Larnie

I look at this a little differently now...see, I can have a sip of alcohol. I can have a glass of wine. I can have a bottle of wine. Or two. I can also get depressed, walk around in a haze the next day, become involved in emotionally abusive relationships, make promises I don't keep, be unavailable, gain the weight back that I lost, not live up to my potential and a host of other things. I just don't see a compelling reason to do any of these when life has so much more to offer.

Yes, it is a process. Yes, it can be depressing at first, but I'm starting to see the light through the fog again and I like this more...

BackToSquareOne

Ever notice that when you go on a diet all you tend to think about is food. Quit drinking for good and of course it's going to be on your mind, same with smoking. Over time tho you become a non-drinker and it's not really an issue. The obsession fades away to nothing if you give it enough time.

sugarbear1

I've done this and suggested it to others, write a grief letter to your alcohol. Maybe a good-bye letter or something. We do grieve our comfort blanket, our best friend, alcohol.

Writing a letter to it can help you.

Mourn the loss and move forward. Stay strong and stay stopped!

EternalWinter

The most thing that helped me was what one guy tought me in aa, Dont worry about tomorrow or the rest of your life. Just worry about staying sober right now. If you feel like drinking say maybe i can drink tomorrow. then worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Worrying about the rest of your life is very hard to accept. I say to my self in a few years down the road I can drink. But not today. Ill worry about a few years in a few years

instant

I think it is the emotional withdrawal. All my alcoholic thinking and feeling had dissipated at 12 months. Think of it as grief if it helps. slipping into romanticising the past is a danger.

Threshold

I grieved for awhile. Then I missed it and went back, and it wasn't good. So I quit again, and life was better.

Every once in a while I feel wistful, but I know that it's not a relationship worth reviving.

Funny thing, I went through a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage. It was horrible. I was on the other side of the continent, so I had pretty much no interaction with my husband during the process. Grief? heck yes!

Now I live closer, and see him, and there is NO way I want back in that marriage. I realize that it was bad way before I admitted it was bad. The good times were over long ago, but I wasn't ready to let go.

Now...yeah, I have some pretty big challenges I am dealing with, but the grief over the marriage has mostly passed. Some days, when I am wondering who to make ends meet, how to face another day "partnerless" I get a little wistful, the a wave of reality washes over me and I know that I am better off without that marriage.

My experiences in addiction recovery have helped me get through the grief of divorce, and my experience with the divorce keeps me committed to addiction recovery.

grief is normal/healthy...as long as I am moving forwards, not back pedaling.

EternalQ

I grieved it. And then got in touch with the grief I had tried to cover up with alcohol. (My Mom's death, my divorce, other relationships, etc. ) My understanding is this is very common. It is, of course, very hard. But the only way out is through. Once I peeked under the bandaid I decided might as well rip it off then put it back, halfway. I found that if I am honest with myself I cannot put the Genie back in the bottle. So I threw the bottle OUT. Best to you. I can say after six months, I am certainly glad I did it. It IS hard. But isn't that part of what makes it VALUABLE? I think so, anyway.

neferkamichael

Cheese your thread is a good reason I go to AA and hang here on a regular basis. Grieving, I never thought about it that way, but you are right.

cheese1

i think im getting past the grief, im not saying i wont get near breaking poiint again but i dont miss alcohol at the moment