DK101

Hi everyone, This is my first post after lurking here for a while wanting to quit (usually after a 2 or 3 day bender and being sick) I have been drinking since I was a teenager (54 now) and I have had a serious alcohol problem for over ten years. not an everyday drinker but drunk 2 or 3 times a week. I drank to get drunk not to be social... I wanted the buzz. I have said to myself I was quitting plenty of times... often actually, but it usually only lasted a few days, rarely over 2 weeks. and only once in my life for 50 days a couple of years ago. Typical story of an alcoholic in denial to make a long story short...

So back in may, after suffering for a week having the usual withdrawals and having been to see a cardiologist because of my heart having extra beats and my high blood pressure caused by my drinking whiskey, I said enough is enough, and stopped drinking. I haven't had a single craving for a booze buzz since. Not one.
When I think about drinking it repulses me. I do not ever want to be sick from alcohol again. The shaking, the feeling my heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest... BP 160/115... pacing the floor because of the anxiety and panic attacks making me feel like if I lie still I will have a heart attack, etc...
What I wish to ask the board is, have any of you just decided to stop drinking and quit for good? (I mean, up until now... I know no one can predict the future) Without any help or therapy? And can the desire stay gone for good?
Thanks for reading,
Don

(I bookmarked this to read if I do want a drink again... it may help sway me away, but I hope and pray I don't ever need persuading to not drink)

Sapling

Welcome to SR DK101....For myself...I needed some structure of a program...I had no luck on my own. There are diferent ways people have quit here....Look at AA...AVRT...SMART Recovery and there are others....Some people just quit on their own...God bless them....I couldn't do it. I wish you the best...Those symptoms you describe rang a bell for me...I don't want to go there again. Glad to have you here.

Lenina

Hi Dk. welcome to SR.

You might give the AVRT thread in the Secular Connections a read and see how it sounds to you. Rational Recovery works for me. It just all made sense. If you're ready to quit drinking, you'll be ready for AVRT.

hope this helps!

Love from Lenina

MrsKing

Hello DK101. Yep, I decided to quit and have now been sober for 4 months. I found SR after I'd been sober for 2 months and it's been an amazing help for me. I don't feel like I'm doing it alone at all, but I guess most people would think that I am as I do not attend meetings or anything like that. I did find AVRT very, very useful - you can do the crash course online which takes hardly any time at all, if you're interested just google it. Congratulations on being sober one week and welcome to our family!

zanzibar

Welcome to SR

Mentally I think anyone can quit on there own. But I think a structured program makes it a lot easier, and can provide a long successfull sobriety.

Physically though I needed detox, as I literally thought I was going to die.

Good luck, and hope to read many more posts from you.

Lenina

Here's the link to AVRT

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html

Love from Lenina

2granddaughters

Unfortunately, the only way you will know is to do it. Let us know how it goes. I quit many times, just couldn't stay quit.

AA enabled me to get and stay sober for quite a while now. Would likely work for you as well. Gotta fix the problem that made us drink in the first place.

All the best.

Bob R

aeo1313

yes- I think you can just quit and stay quit.

There are so many different paths that all lead to the same destination...SOBRIETY.

It sounds as if you have already found your way there on your own...keep it up!!! Congratulations!!

Huey

Check out AVRT. Google Rational Recovery. If you're really ready to quit for good, and are ready to 'do business' this may well be for you.

Hevyn

Hi Don. I'm glad you've made this life saving decision.

I was able to stop without therapy or help (except for joining SR). I know that isn't advisable, but you asked if it was possible. I had been a life long drinker, and knew I couldn't continue on that path. I had dui's and health issues - everything was in shambles. I had to stop or die - so I was highly motivated.

As for the desire staying away - in the first few months I had some hurdles to get over. Holidays, vacations - I felt deprived and sorry for myself. Even though I knew it could never be anything but dangerous - the old memories die hard. Now, I rarely think of drinking - it would bring nothing but misery.

Dee74

Welcome to SR DK101
There's a multitude of approaches here - you're sure to find one that works for you

D

freshstart57

DK101, first, a big hearty welcome to SR, and congratulations on your three month sobriety. We all understand the level of commitment that represents, and a certain courage and strength of will.

OK, to your question. Let me say this: YESSSSS! That is exactly what I did. I made the vow to stop and then went to some meetings and read the BB, but quickly went running for the door.
Instead, I learned about AVRT, since that was what I had been doing from the beginning anyway and didn't know it had a name.

It has been a year since that vow, and I have not had a drink since. Without any help or therapy, other than the big part SR plays in my sobriety now. Is the desire gone for good? Absolutely. Look into AVRT, and you will see how I can make that statement.

Here is the link to the Secular Connections forum. Looking forward to seeing you there!

MrsKing

Sorry, DK101, I don't know why I got confused and thought it had been a week! Congratulations on 3 months!

DK101

Thank all of you so much for taking the time to respond and reply to my message.
I have read about AVRT and I have read this forum for a while... at least a year I'm reckoning, Just never applied my thinking to it or giving my impulses a name like "the beast" but it sounds like quite a reasonable name for it. I always knew and recognized what the cravings to drink were, and I also knew what the consequences would be the following day, still didn't care... would even ask myself "why are you doing this?" in the parking lots of the liquor store, then I would turn off the engine and walk on in.

I have not even counted the days since my last drink because I'd tried that in the past and it seemed to keep my brain wondering about it... as in how long before I will be well enough that getting bombed won't hurt me so bad. I lived long enough and experienced the "misery" enough to know that I will never be well enough that booze won't make me just as sick as it ever did. One thing that I do believe helped me (and it may just be my mind thinking this)... I was prescribed a beta blocker drug for my blood pressure and irregular heart beat, and from talking to others about it, the drug really makes some people feel badly for about a month until they get used to taking it, and I certainly felt bad, so I blamed it on the drug instead of the blahs that always accompanied quitting drinking after a couple of weeks... I would always just feel bad and would grow weary of it and start back drinking to feel better... which you all know doesn't work. When I made it past the first month I always thought I was cured because I felt so much better and because I'd been so good, that I deserved to celebrate a little... one buzz wouldn't kill me... I was really trying.. right?
Well, that sure doesn't work... right back to the same old same old.

I really never want to have to be miserable because of alcohol again, and I know that I am one of the folks that can't ever drink because thats exactly what will happen.

Again, thank you all for listening.
Don

MrsKing

DK101, I think that is actually one of the most important things in lasting sobriety - refusing to give in to those thoughts that you've been good and so you deserve a drink, that you've lasted so long and you're cured. I think recognising that will NEVER happen is so essential.

Being miserable is exactly what would happen to me if I drank, too. That's why I never will again... you don't have to be miserable because of alcohol ever again, DK101. Remember that and keep believing in yourself.

All the best to you.

CarolD

Welcome to the shareing side of SR Don...

Like you I was in my 50's before I was ready to stop.

The spur was om going depression ...and
my doctor suggested I quit and connect to AA.

I did both...and for the last 23+ years I've found life to
be an awesome adventure in living ..

Glad you posted and please let us know how you are doing
We are here to offer support and information.

freshstart57

Exactly my feelings too about this. I can look it up of course because I know the date of my last drink, but the whole 'just one more day' mindset is not for me. I am sure I would cave sooner or later if that were my sobriety philosophy.

I think we are much better at choosing to have things, or choosing to do things, rather than choosing not to do things. It was easier for me to choose the things I could have as long as I took alcohol off the table, rather than the things I could no longer have.

Here is a list that someone made, 30 Great Reasons to Quit Drinking Alcohol. I liked it so much I carried a copy with me to read when I could feel that panic rising. Maybe you find this idea helpful too.

RobbyRobot

I'm asking myself what is meant by without any help or therapy? Is talking with a friend help? Is reading shares and stories of others here on SR helpful? Are reading books about alcoholsim/addiction and recovery helpful? And so on...

I do know from experience I can't live a good quality life without both giving and receiving help onto and from others. My past alcoholism kept me in the dark. I lived selfishly and afraid of change. I kept aloof and alone. I suffered without allowing others to help me help myself.

When I finally decided to forever quit getting drunk, I also had to forget about being selfish and withdrawn. I knew my game was up, and if I didn't want to just end up drunk again, I needed to change how I lived with others.

So, not so much me wanting to ask for help, I knew quitting without sharing help back and forth would fail to reach the quality of life I wanted, so I got into the game of living with others.

I don't regret doing so whatsoever. I've really managed to get what I wanted by extending a hand to others, and receiving same in return.

There are many ways to do so in a sans-alcohol sober life... programs, fellowships, friendships, family, AA, AVRT, SMART, SR, Church...

john44

It's great that the same solution (AA) works for people with different difficulties, onsets, problems with alcoholism. In my case what made me drink is the physiological disease of alcoholism. My body processes alcohol differently from a normal person. This problem cannot be fixed in the sense that I can ever drink normally but can be arrested by complete abstinence. It is through abstinence that I can now address the emotional issues by strengthening my spirituality.

Malsi

Thank you, I always like a good reminder about how terrible alcohol makes people feel. It amazes me how the mind can make you forget how fricken terrible alcohol can be, especially after it has left your body.