Does it work this way?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 35
Does it work this way?
After reading over threads and stories and so on, I have decided that I will get sober. And I have a plan in place. Just wondering if anyone has had success with planning a quit date. Mine is Sept 5th.
My reasons are that my kids are home for the summer, and we have a family gathering at the end of the month that I really don't want to miss.
With the kids, I think it will be easier with them in school. If I feel irritable or I have cravings, I can take the baby and go for a brisk walk, or do something with her to take my mind off things. Right now I can't do that because walking with kids in tow (instead of in a stroller) can be frustrating if you are trying to avoid frustration!
At the end of the month we have a family get together planned at the cabin. My kids are really looking forward to it and there will be drinking there. I know it will be really hard and I don't want to get irritated with the kids or others there because I can't drink. And I don't want withdrawal symptoms to take away from the weekend. We rarely get away.
Oh and another reason is that once the kids go back to school, its much easier to get a sitter. And it's very close to hunting season which I LOVE to do. So I can also spend nice days enjoying something I love and I have never, and will never, drink while hunting. That's just too far for me. Actually, I don't even think about drinking while I'm hunting. So that's a bonus.
Anyway, I'm just glad to have an end date. Does that make sense?
I just want to be able to avoid anything that might cause me to slip up.
My reasons are that my kids are home for the summer, and we have a family gathering at the end of the month that I really don't want to miss.
With the kids, I think it will be easier with them in school. If I feel irritable or I have cravings, I can take the baby and go for a brisk walk, or do something with her to take my mind off things. Right now I can't do that because walking with kids in tow (instead of in a stroller) can be frustrating if you are trying to avoid frustration!
At the end of the month we have a family get together planned at the cabin. My kids are really looking forward to it and there will be drinking there. I know it will be really hard and I don't want to get irritated with the kids or others there because I can't drink. And I don't want withdrawal symptoms to take away from the weekend. We rarely get away.
Oh and another reason is that once the kids go back to school, its much easier to get a sitter. And it's very close to hunting season which I LOVE to do. So I can also spend nice days enjoying something I love and I have never, and will never, drink while hunting. That's just too far for me. Actually, I don't even think about drinking while I'm hunting. So that's a bonus.
Anyway, I'm just glad to have an end date. Does that make sense?
I just want to be able to avoid anything that might cause me to slip up.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I think when i was drinking my quit date was always in about 2 weeks time, that lasted for maybe 4 years.
I love deadlines, the sound of them as they fly past .
I was never ready to quit as there was always an excuse to keep on drinking untill the day when i quit and then there was no excuse to carry on making excuses.
Do what you need to do to quit and stay quit, good luck, M
I love deadlines, the sound of them as they fly past .
I was never ready to quit as there was always an excuse to keep on drinking untill the day when i quit and then there was no excuse to carry on making excuses.
Do what you need to do to quit and stay quit, good luck, M
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
The problem I have with making dates for quitting is that I rarely stick to them, and generally if I plan on quitting something in X days, I'll do more and more of whatever it is I'm trying to quit because I know that I'll be quitting it in the future... and probably, when that date comes, I won't quit anyway but just continue on, worse than I was before.
I don't know how you work so you may be completely different. But regardless, there's no time like the present. I can see that you wouldn't want to be in a bad mood when you go away... but do you really want to be drunk when you are away with your family, when like you said, you rarely get away? Wouldn't they enjoy it more if you were sober? Wouldn't you enjoy it more if you were sober? If you could remember it?
I'm not trying to be harsh here - please don't take this the wrong way. There will always be things coming up, however... always a date in the future that we can convince ourselves HAS to be done drunk. You will encounter many times in the beginning of recovery where you will find it hard to turn down drinks, where you will be irritable, etc. Postponing it to whatever date will not change that... it will always be an uncomfortable time.
I wish you all the best for Sept 5th, however, and hope it's the right time for you to get sober.
I don't know how you work so you may be completely different. But regardless, there's no time like the present. I can see that you wouldn't want to be in a bad mood when you go away... but do you really want to be drunk when you are away with your family, when like you said, you rarely get away? Wouldn't they enjoy it more if you were sober? Wouldn't you enjoy it more if you were sober? If you could remember it?
I'm not trying to be harsh here - please don't take this the wrong way. There will always be things coming up, however... always a date in the future that we can convince ourselves HAS to be done drunk. You will encounter many times in the beginning of recovery where you will find it hard to turn down drinks, where you will be irritable, etc. Postponing it to whatever date will not change that... it will always be an uncomfortable time.
I wish you all the best for Sept 5th, however, and hope it's the right time for you to get sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
Sounds perfectly logical to me. I planned ahead very carefully the last time I quit. I lost count of how many times I tried. But what I'm trying to say is I learned from my mistakes. I went out of my way to make sure to keep as few triggers as possible from happening. Especially the first couple weeks.
I wish you the best.
Fred
I wish you the best.
Fred
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 35
I kinda figured that it was an "excuse" approach. Damn that little voice in the back of my head!
But I have started cutting back and really thinking about how much I'm drinking. If that makes sense....
I say to myself - No beer before 3 pm today. And the the next day its no beer before 4. I'm really trying
But I have started cutting back and really thinking about how much I'm drinking. If that makes sense....
I say to myself - No beer before 3 pm today. And the the next day its no beer before 4. I'm really trying
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
I don't necessarily think it is an 'excuse' approach, but it is an approach that doesn't warrant doing anything right at this very moment, and gives us the feeling that we are doing something, when we actually aren't... which is actually quite a dangerous position to be in.
But cutting back is great, Habiba... you're going in the right direction. Moderation for me was impossible... but for lots of people cutting down to a certain point allows them to make the decision to quit completely. Is that your plan?
But cutting back is great, Habiba... you're going in the right direction. Moderation for me was impossible... but for lots of people cutting down to a certain point allows them to make the decision to quit completely. Is that your plan?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Chepstow, Monmouthshire
Posts: 58
However you decide to do it is up to you. Perhaps use the time inbetween to further your plans for recovery. Think about stuff. My sobriety date happened by accident. Wish I'd put more in place :-)
Glad I have stopped now though :-)
If it's a horror show up to that date, use it to remind yourself how miserable life is drinking.
Good luck with it all whatver you choose :-)
Glad I have stopped now though :-)
If it's a horror show up to that date, use it to remind yourself how miserable life is drinking.
Good luck with it all whatver you choose :-)
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I think this plan has all entered into our minds. It sounds viable and we don't know any better. You discover it doesn't work after putting it into action a thousand times. This time it will work, yet again, it doesn't. That is the insanity of the beast. Acknowledging there is a problem and wanting to do something about it is the first step to quitting. You have made that and can move forward. Good luck...there is a solution.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by MrsKing 
I don't necessarily think it is an 'excuse' approach, but it is an approach that doesn't warrant doing anything right at this very moment, and gives us the feeling that we are doing something, when we actually aren't... which is actually quite a dangerous position to be in.
But cutting back is great, Habiba... you're going in the right direction. Moderation for me was impossible... but for lots of people cutting down to a certain point allows them to make the decision to quit completely. Is that your plan?
But cutting back is great, Habiba... you're going in the right direction. Moderation for me was impossible... but for lots of people cutting down to a certain point allows them to make the decision to quit completely. Is that your plan?
In the meantime, I've mad an appointment with my doc to discuss quitting too. I'm currently on a low dose of Paxil for mild anxiety/depression, so I want to make sure that I don't screw up my progress in that area as well.
Although I am ashamed to have to admit to my doc that I have a drinking problem....
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Habiba,
I don't have kids, but my pop was an alcoholic, and it made my life very hard growing up. It seems really bad that I would drink after everything I went through growing up with an alcoholic. I didn't know how to be a good person, but I just knew i did not want to be like my pop. If your kids are there at all, you should stop now. I always thought every kid would love their parent no matter what, but somewhere down the road my love for my pop turned into pity and disgust I hope you never let that happen to you
I don't have kids, but my pop was an alcoholic, and it made my life very hard growing up. It seems really bad that I would drink after everything I went through growing up with an alcoholic. I didn't know how to be a good person, but I just knew i did not want to be like my pop. If your kids are there at all, you should stop now. I always thought every kid would love their parent no matter what, but somewhere down the road my love for my pop turned into pity and disgust I hope you never let that happen to you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Trust me - quitting alcohol will do nothing but WONDERS for depression and anxiety. I was in a pretty bad state mentally before I quit. REALLY bad. I still get the odd bout of anxiety and sometimes feel low, but who doesn't? It took quitting to make me realise that most, if not all, of my major mental issues were caused by alcohol.
Be honest with your dr - he or she will have heard it all before and will only be able to properly help if you are completely honest.
Be honest with your dr - he or she will have heard it all before and will only be able to properly help if you are completely honest.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey there! We all do what we do until we cant do it anymore. Its good that you are thinking about it. The seed has been planted. We are here for you.
Your Doc is not here to judge. Your Doc is for help. Its alright to feel the shame and then let it go. Reaching out for help is the best thing that you can do.
Your Doc is not here to judge. Your Doc is for help. Its alright to feel the shame and then let it go. Reaching out for help is the best thing that you can do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 35
Thanks everyone. I actually can't wait to quit. I dunno, I'm just looking forward to that date. I know setting a date has been an excuse for people, and maybe it won't work like I hope it will.
But I will quit. Come hell or high water, I will quit drinking. I quit smoking after 11 years, and I can do this too. I know I can.
But I will quit. Come hell or high water, I will quit drinking. I quit smoking after 11 years, and I can do this too. I know I can.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by MetalChick
maybe you should come back in the room when you are sober on that date?
"Do you want to quit drinking? The Alcoholism forum is an open forum for those who want to stop or who have stopped drinking."
I thought I was in that category.
Sorry to waste your time. See you on Sept 6th
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