justhadenough

Your kids will probably prefer an irritable mum than a drunk one and be proud of you for quitting. We fool ourselves that no one knows we are drunk or we act normal.A lot can happen in a month. Why put yourself through the misery of drunkenness and illness for another month when you sound like you want to quit. The only reason for waiting is you don't want to stop drinking.I hope you stay around SR,read some stories and it gives you the strength to quit now.

MetalChick

I know right!!!! just

Habiba

My kids have not "seen it all". I don't know what your definition of that is, but my definition is that they have seen me do many horrible things.

They do know I drink. The same as their father has a beer with a BBQ or if we have friends over for a social drink and a meal or whatever.

I find that assumption judgemental. I'm not some drunk that walks around with a half empty bottle of vodka slurring insults at my children.

We have a large home and are debt free, including the mortgage. My husband and I have worked very hard for that. My kids are well cared for. I don't drink and drive or fight or whatever else "seen it all" means. My kids have ever seen me passed out or falling down drunk.

Right now I have a date planned to quit. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. I certainly hope it will. I am meeting with my doc to discuss anything I might need in terms of meds and support. If people don't believe me that's fine. I know you have more experience than I do (with quitting that is).

If its a mistake, then I will learn from it.

The point is, I want to quit. I'm trying to quit. And I will quit.

Anyway, I guess I'll come back on the 6th.

Thanks

bloss

SR is such a "safe place" for me, whenever I feel low, close to giving in, I come here and find something in one of the posts or blogs to get myself through. If I read something that doesn't benefit my recovery, I just move on to another post. No judgement, everyone is trying to stay sober and help out each other as best they can. Best wishes for your journey!

Someguy23

I think it's good to remember that many on this forum have either been deeply hurt by others because of alcohol or have themselves deeply hurt others because of alcohol (or both). We don't know you personally Habiba, so it's natural for people to project their own experiences onto you. I really don't think anyone meant to judge or insult you.

I joined this forum after cutting down drastically to help me figure some things out, but I think I was a member here for about two months before deciding to quit completely. I never felt unwelcome here and I don't think you'll be persona non grata until 6 September either.

For what it's worth, I think waiting until your kids are in school to quit might be a good idea. I'm currently cut off from friends and family and it has made dealing with my alcohol problems A LOT easier than if I'd had to juggle an active social life at the same time, and being forced to spend more time with oneself helps you be introspective.

The only thing I could recommend would be to be strict in your taper until you quit. I know it's tempting for a lot of people to do one last big drunk before they take the plunge, and I'm sure you don't want that (especially with your kids around).

Best of luck.

justhadenough

I'm sure no one is judging you Habiba.Many of us just see,now sober,how much our drinking did affect others around us.I'm newly sober and have a young child.I never fought,drunk drove,drank near him or was drunk in front of him. But I wasn't the parent I could have been and should have been, precisely because of my drinking.The next day I was hungover,short-tempered, irritable, tired,not as involved as I should have been.I was not the parent I should have been.

I don't think anyone is judging you. But from personal experience, if our drinking is so much of a problem that we feel we need to quit then it probably is impacting on our children,in some way,how ever much we try and convince ourselves it isn't

I hope you stay around.This is a great site

tomsteve

my thought is why put off til tomorrow what can be done today.

i used to set quit dates. did it manymany times. then i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism. i couldnt quit and drinking was a 7 day/wk thing. blackout drunk drinking. how ever much it took. 7 days/week.
then i had the gift of desperation. i stopped drinking. i dried up and worked on changing me. then i became sober.

Habiba

The reason for my quit date is so my kids are in school when their happy mom (drunk) is not feeling so happy, they don't see it.

As I said above, they will be in school which will allow me the time and freedom to pop the baby in the stroller and go for a brisk walk if I feel the urge to drink. I can't do that now.

If I need an AA meeting, I will have no problems finding a sitter for her. Not so easy for 4 kids. And less explanation.

I have horses (my passion). When my kids are back to school, I can quickly get a sitter for the baby and gallop through trails to help with cravings/withdrawals, whatever.

I guess I don't realize why that's such an issue, but I've never been in this position before.

I get the feeling that people on here thing that my quit date is an excuse to keep drinking now. It's not.

I suppose all I have left is to proove you wrong?

Nevertheless

It looks like I might be the only one here that agrees. But I think you are taking a very logical and level headed approach.
There is a very fine line whether we succeed,or fail. I had sooo many close calls when I quit. I wouldn't have made it watching 4 kids. That is a FACT.
If you were to try it now,and give in. Giving in can easily become a habit. That is also a FACT.
I think it is very wise for you to do this when you think the odds are the most favorable. So you can stop and stay stopped. I have no idea why nobody else sees that.
Fred

LDT

"I'm sure her kids have seen it all".......(wow)... a seriously judgemental, if not offensive statement.

You do not have to prove anything to anyone here, Habiba. Get sober. Get well. Whatever it takes.

LuvMySis

Maybe not, but she needs to do something sooner rather than later for the sake of her four children. This plan isn't working.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...265486-oh.html

Habiba

I do not even remember writing that. Sorry guys. I had a super anxious day and took an Ativan. When that didn't work (Ativan doesn't work all that well for me), I took another. Before I realized it I was an idiot and had taken four, along with drinking.

Most of that night is a blank. I remember bits and pieces, and I'm lucky that something serious didn't happen. Thankfully my kids were at mom's for the night.

I have only had a couple of beer since then. I didn't have any the next day and only a couple the day after that before bed to shut my mind up, if that makes sense. I did not have any yesterday and I have not had any today.

I think that was a wake up call for me, or rock bottom I guess. I feel good so far, and I look forward to feeling better. I've been gardening and working with my horses to take my mind off things. I have not started AA, but I have looked up the locations of the meetings and I'm trying to get up the courage to go.

Again, I apologize for that post. I hope it wasn't a trigger for anyone or anything like that. I just keep reminding myself that if I keep this up, my kids will see me like that eventually and I really don't want that to happen.

Anyway, so far so good!

Huey

Quit dates ??? What a load of old tosh. . . Stop 'Monkeying around' and get on with it NOW!

Habiba

Not sure if you read the entire thread, but I'm getting on with it! Lol!

Thanks though. I did have, and still do have that date as a sober date. But as of now, I'm on day two. I feel great so far and I'm hoping to whatever god there may be that I can continue as I am right now.

I am constantly keeping track of reasons for sobriety. Right now my nine month old is hogging out on pasta that she is attempting to feed herself. She's smacking her lips and loving it and her adorable face is orange from the tomato sauce lol.

These are the things that are working for me!

doggonecarl

Thanks for the update. Glad you are okay. Really glad that you are taking the first steps to recovery.