SoberSteve

I've been meaning to start a quit journal to log my progress and to record my thoughts on my almost lifelong relationship with alcohol. I've been drinking alcohol in one form or another for over 40 years with only brief periods of sobriety.

Now I want to quit. Not cut down or learn to drink moderately like "normal" people do, but just plain old quit for good. I realize I can't drink just one or two. It's more like 10 or 12.

Today is day 18 of my quit and I feel pretty good. I'm exercising, losing weight, eating well, and educating myself about alcohol.

I'll post more soon but I just wanted to get my journal started. BourbonJunkie

SoberSteve

First Drinks:
I had my first experience with booze at the age of 12 or 13 on a backyard campout with my older brother and some of our friends. I think it was Schlitz malt liquor in those little cans. That was my drink of choice in my early drinking career until I got sick the first time and couldn't stand the taste or smell of beer for years. We only drank on campouts back then, either backyard or Boy Scout where we'd sneak liquor in and some of us evil boys would sneak out at night and get drunk away from the camp. We never got caught and thankfully no one ever got hurt.

We were able to acquire booze at such an early age, ironically because we lived in a dry county and the bootleggers would sell to ANYONE. $5.00/pint of your liquor of choice. I think it was Ancient Age bourbon and Tvarich vodka. Also, my brother and I would pilfer some of my dad's supply. He only drank once a week at the Elk's Club.

Anyway, my earliest drinking consisted pretty much of irregular intervals at campouts and then came high school which is another story. BourbonJunkie

freshstart57

It sounds like your new life is coming along very well. I like the education idea too. Looking forward to the continuation of your journal.

CarolD

Hi again....
I know you have read the book that convinced me to quit...
"Under The Influence" by milam and Ketcham.

With my doctors ok...I followed the eating plan + supplements
that I read there. I think it helped a lot with my rather
quick return to physical and mental balance...

I did not read the sequel....I'd already found my solution before
it was published. How do you like the newer one?

SoberSteve

I just started the new one. Will let you know when I finish it. So far it's as good as the first book.

Well, yesterday tied my longest known planned quit at 20 days. A couple years ago I was going along nicely on a quit of 20 days and decided it would be ok to drink with my pals on a motorcycle campout(just this once). I remember waking up to the sound of a mockingbird thinking "how nice" and then going "Aw, crap! I'm hungover!" I lasted another 19 days after that before crawling back in the jug as an old, now deceased, friend used to say.

Things are going pretty well. My initial biggest problem was around "cocktail hour" time, from 4-5 PM, when my mind and body would crave it. Also, I tend to look into the future and think "Oh, no! I won't be able to drink at..........." I've filled in several blanks there but try to stay focused on the present by telling myself I'll worry about that later. The only thing I DO know is I won't be drinking tonight.

Sleep is coming better the last few nights which is nice.

I think I have a good chance of getting alcohol out of my life this time buy just taking it one day at a time and continuing to educate myself.

Thanks Sober Recovery. I'll tell some drunken tales on myself later. Just wanted to celebrate my 20 days and 3 weeks later today. BJ

MrsKing

Hi BourbonJunkie, congratulations on 3 weeks. Good for you!

I used to get stressed about future events that I wouldn't be able to drink at, too. I'd worry that I was going to put people out by not drinking, that I'd have to explain over and over again why I wasn't drinking, and most importantly I'd stress over the fact that drink would be all around me and I wouldn't be able to have any of it. It's been over four months now and I just don't think about that sort of stuff any longer. It does get easier with time, that's a certainty. Training yourself to think differently when in those situations also helps, too. Instead of looking at what you can't have - look at what you can. You can be YOU rather than drunk you, you can drive home safely, you can wake up in the morning feeling fresh, etc. If we make those situations into a power struggle between us and the booze then it is VERY uncomfortable (I know this from experience - I spent many a night sat around friends drinking, attempting to have a conversation with them but really spending the whole time thinking "STOP THINKING ABOUT THE ALCOHOL. STOP" - not nice) but like I said, over time being sober in those situations becomes the norm.

SoberSteve

Day 23
Still having a little trouble sleeping and my mind seems a bit foggy and unfocused at times. I quit smoking over 8 years ago and remember feeling like this for days on end so I'm not too worried about it. I figure it's going to take time to feel a new normal so just hang in there. Cravings aren't too bad but I know they can crop up when least expected.

High school drinking years: My high school social life revolved almost entirely around alcohol and to lesser degree, pot. By the end of high school I rarely did pot but was drinking more and more. Growing up in a large dry area, we had bootleggers that would sell booze to us as kids. We'd ride our bikes up to Willie's house and actually go inside his house with his family and he'd bring out our pint of whatever for $5.00. After we got our drivers licenses we could drive to another bootlegger, Jackie, and he had a little drawer next to his back door you'd slide your money into him and he'd slide you back your pint. Slick, huh? The cops would bust Jackie and others about once a year it seems. Probably some arrangements were made. Who knows?

Being more mobile in our cars meant we could now drive to the state line (we usually called it "the line") where they sold beer and wine and had little cinder block honkytonks where they never checked IDs. One club had free beer night on Wednesday nights so we were there most every Wednesday and spent most every Friday-Sunday getting drunk as well. Did we drive home drunk? Yes, I'm afraid we did, many times. Thank goodness we never caused a wreck and were never arrested. Times have changed I'm sure we couldn't get away with the crap we did back then. Once we were sitting in our car in the countryside drinking illegal beer while underaged and the cops pulled up behind us. They gave is the option of pouring the beer out or "coming downtown". We chose to pour the beer out and they let us drive away. Don't think THAT would happen today.

Anyway, my high school years were filled with one drunken weekend (and Wednesdays) after another after another after another. Never gave it a thought, really. When you're young and bulletproof, it's all about having "fun". Made it intact through high school, luckily. Made Eagle Scout. I remember taking my ACTs hungover as hell and smelling like the campfire we were drinking around the night before. Did well enough to get into college, at least. College years drinking is another story.

Now on to day 23! Have a happy sober day whatever day you are on. BJ