Forwards

Dear SR friends,

It has been over 6 months since my last visit. Things have got worse (a lot worse) and in AA terms I have used up most of my 'yets'.

I moved to the Southwest of England to be closer to my family in November, stopped drinking overnight and suffered a partial seizure - one of the most scary experiences of my life.

I visited doctors, attended AA 5 - 7 times a week, pretty much doing 90 in 90 trying to learn (but admittedly not really working the program). After a month or two I finally put down the drink completely. Having to return up country for hospital checks I was out of AA for 2 weeks and relapsed straight into blackout. I ended up in the police cells and am very lucky not to be in prison or have injured anybody.

I was asked to move out by my family and faced moving in to a damp unfurnished flat on my own where I drank and drank uncontrollably. My attention to AA petered out - the excuse being that I had to work long hours to pay for the flat. After a week or two of vodka and no food I collapsed hallucinating and bleeding, somehow surviving without medical attention.

I will not give up trying though. I will find a place of safety tomorrow and do everything I can not to drink. I will be returning to the Southwest on Thursday and will contact my AA fellowship in advance to expect me. I have a local addiction councillor who is exceptionally good and will make an appointment to see him.

In the past, SR has kept me sober for months at a time and I would be so grateful for any help you might offer (again). It's going to be a case of 1 hour at a time for the next week or so.

Many thanks - I've missed you guys and hope you're doing well...

Forwards.

bbthumper

Glad to hear you are going back to AA. Give the program a shot this time. You know the deal "rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." The path is the steps. Try 'em. They work! First of all though, make sure you are getting the medical attention you need.

BB Quoted.First Edition

Jeni26

Welcome back. It's good to see you. What a sad story of how we can all slip once that spiral gets us in its grip. You are right, sounds like you're running out of chances my friend.
Time to do this with every energy you can muster. When you return to AA, I suggest you get a sponsor and start working the steps rather than just attend meetings. You will have already gained a great deal of knowledge and insight. Time to put it into practice.
Please don't end up another statistic.
We all care about you and will support you all we can.
Please take care xx

awuh1

I hope you come to understand exactly where things went wrong. The steps might be difficult to climb, but may be easier than the path you have been taking.
Sending best wishes and a few prayers.

Huey

Just keep trying. I was around AA for quite a while making 'yets' reality, it doesn't have to be that way, get yourself to the West Country and keep yourself safe. . . NEVER GIVE UP TRYING. . .

Forwards

Well it's now 10:30 am in London after another rough night. 23 units of alcohol yesterday but I'm now 12 hours from my last drink so that's a start.

The alcoholic mind games have already begun in force today - shame about the past, projecting to the future, worry about whether I can just get through today without a drink or at least another drunk.

However, the sun is shining, I have useful work to do, I have friends around me here and even an invitation to an Olympic event this evening. There we go - that's a start at a gratitude list I'll let you know how it goes.

Dee74

I'm sorry to see you're still struggling Forwards.

You know what you need to do - I really hope you decide to do it this time - I wish I'd accepted my lot years before I did...I lost nothing and gained everything...

I hope you'll make the same good decision I did
best of luck
D

Sudz No More

So happy to see you back at it. Never give up.

neferkamichael

Good for you Forwards, never give up. I didn't and now I'm 2 years sober. Perhaps I expected more from sobriety, but actually I have one less problem in my life.

OklaBH

I love that Dee "i lost nothing and gained everything" very nice to hear

Live2Run25

Hey foward.. 12 hours is great start. You got this. You CAN be successful!!!

2granddaughters

Forwards, I suggest that the next AA meeting you attend that you look around for a good oldtimer with years of good sobriety and ask them "How in the Hell did you do it ???!!!".

Then do what they tell you they did. It's kept me sober for 23 yrs.

All the best.

Bob R

CarolD

When I began the AA Steps I felt a shift ..from often
shakey sobriety into solid recovery....

Hope this will be your time for finding lasting sobreity
Welcome back...