chickonabike

Hi! I am going into an inpatient detox facility in a week and I'm so excited! I can't wait to be free from alcohol and have a life. But, what's a life? I've had no life other than alcohol for the past year and a half. I've even neglected being a loving wife for my husband, a proud owner of my cute cat and being a great family member for my family. I never thought I would do that.

There is an outpatient program that I will be attending after my inpatient detox but I'm still scared about what life hands me the other 21 hours through the day. The unknown is so scary. I am attending therapy currently for my bi-polar disorder and we talk a lot about mindfulness. I really am trying to embrace the concept but mindfulness also means you have to experience pain BUT you experience happiness that much more.

Sorry. That was a little rant.

I suppose what I'm looking for is advice on what to do in the mean time before I go into detox. Drink the same? Drink less? My addictive brain tells me to drink more to make it worthwhile to go into detox (otherwise what's the point?), but my rational brain tells me to drink less. They battle constantly. No wonder I'm worn out at the end of the day. I usually give into my addictive brain which sucks.

Thanks for any advice!

tomsteve

man, does this sound like me!! i cant say i really had a life when i was drinkin. just existing. when i got into recovery, i had that fear of the unknown,too. i had to learn everything about actually living and for me it was them other hours in the day,too.
what i did was got some courage.i had to work really hard on getting it from my head to my heart that i can only live in and take care of today. i can make plans for what i'm gonna do tomorrow or beyond, but if i plan the outcome, i'm settin myself up for disappointment.

i started just doing whatever was in front of me to do even if it wasnt the right way. when it wasnt the right way, thats when i had to accept i am human and will make mistakes and fix it, but dont use that as an excuse to continue making mistakes.
as T.I.M.E. went on, everything started gettin easier. just had to practice and keep on practicing living one day at a time.

TexasBloom

The steps are all about re-learning how to live. For me, they're all about mindfulness.

You can go for the last "hurrah", which also brings the natural consequences with it, sure. If you're signed up for detox, you've already seen that it's worthwhile to go. If you want to justify it, you can, but IME it was a time waster. For me, I started hitting meetings and ultimately didn't have to detox, but chose to go to outpatient any way. (I was pregnant and knew I was in for a CPS case if I didn't make some major effort. The steps kept me sober. the outpatient stuff kept me occupied more than anything, that's only my experience.)

sugarbear1

Talk with the detox facility people to find out what you should be doing before going in. What do they suggest?

The book Alcoholics Anonymous is online, so are other program sites. xa-speakers.org has speakers recorded, write a journal, exercise a little, clean the house a little, find a hobby and do that. Maybe get to an AA meeting in between. At least some of your time will be taken up by an activity.

I wish you well in detox and outpatient!

2granddaughters

chick, you are being offered the opportunity for a new life.

My recovery started in a 90 day Recovery Home program. In the room was a small card on the dresser with a short phrase that would change my life "Ask, Listen, and Do what you're told".

You will be on the path to recovery as millions are, you will do well if you surrender to it.

All the best.

Bob R

Justfor1

I was told to keep drinking at my steady rate until a detox bed opened up. Do not completely stop. It is very dangerous.

CarolD

I did not use anything you mentioned for my successful recovery
. Instead I went directly into AA...and there I've stayed.

So...no advice from me sorry.
I hope this helps you find your sober future...