Just Need to Vent...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 179
Just Need to Vent...
So I am about 3 1/2 months alcohol free and about a month and a half free of nicotine.
Usually I am in high spirits and the cravings for alcohol are easily pushed aside, cigarettes are starting to get easier too but this week has been rough.
I think I need to quit coffee because I get so anxious now after my first cup but it does goes away after a few hours.
I have not experimented with this notion as of yet.
I like coffee in the morning, I always have but now... it's like my skin is crawling and I just want to scream, I have no tolerance or patience for much of anything and I just want to get away from myself sometimes.
Today I am tired.
I cry for no reason.
I get so angry at nothing sometimes.
I feel like enough is enough already.
I want a break.
Sometimes I wonder if I took too much on at once but at the same time I have come so far to turn back
I won't drink, I know this.
It's just sometimes I feel like I want just one day to relax.
I am not stupid... I know it won't relax me and I also know that even if I were to have a (few) drink(s) it wouldn't be enough.
Endless amounts would never be enough.
It's the same with cigarettes. Even if I were to have 1 right now I would NEED another in an hour so whats the point?
Addiction is heart wrenching and sometimes it makes me so mad I could spit nails!
It sucks sometimes, just learning how to be.
Learning how to act and react to situations that have happened a million times before... They are all different and new now.
I am still very new in recovery and I do love my new life... but life can most certainly sting sometimes and I wish I had learned how to deal with it before I started my drinking career...
Learning how to live all over again.
I just needed to let some steam out before the pressure built up too much today.
On a brighter note.... (because I think I feel a little better now that I've whined out my frustration).. I have lost the gained weight from quitting smoking cigarettes and I am back on track health wise.
Thank you for letting me host this little pity party of mine.
Xxx
Usually I am in high spirits and the cravings for alcohol are easily pushed aside, cigarettes are starting to get easier too but this week has been rough.
I think I need to quit coffee because I get so anxious now after my first cup but it does goes away after a few hours.
I have not experimented with this notion as of yet.
I like coffee in the morning, I always have but now... it's like my skin is crawling and I just want to scream, I have no tolerance or patience for much of anything and I just want to get away from myself sometimes.
Today I am tired.
I cry for no reason.
I get so angry at nothing sometimes.
I feel like enough is enough already.
I want a break.
Sometimes I wonder if I took too much on at once but at the same time I have come so far to turn back
I won't drink, I know this.
It's just sometimes I feel like I want just one day to relax.
I am not stupid... I know it won't relax me and I also know that even if I were to have a (few) drink(s) it wouldn't be enough.
Endless amounts would never be enough.
It's the same with cigarettes. Even if I were to have 1 right now I would NEED another in an hour so whats the point?
Addiction is heart wrenching and sometimes it makes me so mad I could spit nails!
It sucks sometimes, just learning how to be.
Learning how to act and react to situations that have happened a million times before... They are all different and new now.
I am still very new in recovery and I do love my new life... but life can most certainly sting sometimes and I wish I had learned how to deal with it before I started my drinking career...
Learning how to live all over again.
I just needed to let some steam out before the pressure built up too much today.
On a brighter note.... (because I think I feel a little better now that I've whined out my frustration).. I have lost the gained weight from quitting smoking cigarettes and I am back on track health wise.
Thank you for letting me host this little pity party of mine.
Xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I know exactly how you feel. I have quit both addictions also and sometimes have a hard time with my patience, I feel super empty and sad etc. Like a rollercoaster.
I drinked for 17 years. I figure it will take a bit of time to re-learn how to live and cope with life. Time will help I'm sure of that, but not 17 years I hope! LOL!
I drinked for 17 years. I figure it will take a bit of time to re-learn how to live and cope with life. Time will help I'm sure of that, but not 17 years I hope! LOL!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
JustBreathe, I know exactly how you feel. Well maybe not exactly. I doubt any two people feel exactly the same, but you know what I mean. Even if I don't.
Just when I think that things are getting, not easy, but not so difficult, life throws something at me. It's like the hidden nail in the wooden post that you're trying to cut through, the worm in the apple, the... horrible cliche after horrible cliche.
So yes, the irritable, angry me is back after going away for a couple of days. I've been unbearable to be around. And that goes doubly for me. I just want to get away from me, but no matter where I go, there I am!
But no. I won't drink. Part of me won't let me. Grrr Argh. Well, I asked my higher power for help, but I didn't expect that.
And don't worry about venting. We're here whenever you need us. And we won't judge you.
Just when I think that things are getting, not easy, but not so difficult, life throws something at me. It's like the hidden nail in the wooden post that you're trying to cut through, the worm in the apple, the... horrible cliche after horrible cliche.
So yes, the irritable, angry me is back after going away for a couple of days. I've been unbearable to be around. And that goes doubly for me. I just want to get away from me, but no matter where I go, there I am!
But no. I won't drink. Part of me won't let me. Grrr Argh. Well, I asked my higher power for help, but I didn't expect that.
And don't worry about venting. We're here whenever you need us. And we won't judge you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 50
"Addiction is heart wrenching and sometimes it makes me so mad I could spit nails!"
I'm feeling that way right now. I'm listening to the words of long time sober people assuring me that it gets better. I hope they're right!
I'm feeling that way right now. I'm listening to the words of long time sober people assuring me that it gets better. I hope they're right!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
It DOES get better, you just have to hang in there!! Put one foot in front of the other, and get more time under your belt without those drugs, breaking those habits, making new ones. Time is key..you need time. Be patient and kind to yourself. You'll be so happy you stuck it out, and so proud of yourself and all you've accomplished. It's worth it, you're doing great.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I once quit drinking on my own and made it about 9 or 10 months...But I was miserable. For an alcoholic like me...Taking alcohol out of the picture leaves the ISM....I...Self and ME. One of the things that facinated me about AA was how could these people be so happy without alcohol in their lives....It taught me what makes me tick...What made me drink like I did...How to deal with life...On life's terms....Not alcohol's terms. Once I understood that...Finding that peace and happiness was easy. It's a design for living...That's what I was missing.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
That's life, full of emotional ups and downs. Otherwise everybody would be zombies - emotionally void, flat, afraid to feel.
So having emotions is human, managing them is is a skill set to learn. CBT is exactly made for emotional management and much much more. Having learned a lot about CBT skill building makes my life far better that having not known of it.
Anywho, there many ways to heal. No one way is better than the other. Find what works for you and work it.
So having emotions is human, managing them is is a skill set to learn. CBT is exactly made for emotional management and much much more. Having learned a lot about CBT skill building makes my life far better that having not known of it.
Anywho, there many ways to heal. No one way is better than the other. Find what works for you and work it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
:ghug3 I'm glad your feeling better! I could not make it in sobriety without recovery as well JB! To learn why we get angry at things like we don't have control, to understand resentments, to see our part in every situation. This is so important for us. You and I share another hard situation that, for me, my addiction uses to talk to me loudly!!! When I feel like you did today, I run to an AA meeting, or call my sponcor. I am trying not to forcethis down your throat, but want you to know there is relief!! I am happy you are feeling better and came here to vent. You should be so proud of yourself for your accomplishments!
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
JustBreath, 3 1/2 months no alcohol, 1 1/2 months no nicotene? You are DOUBLE FANTASTIC. 1 year 11 months 17 days no alcohol, 22 days no nicotene, no coffee with an S-load of sugar since May 22nd, and I am paralyzed. I'd cry but us alpha males ain't supposed too. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I couldnt have written what you said better myself. It about sums it up well i quit booze and cigarettes as well . Been sover over a year. I started drinken heavily in high school stayed drunk for almost 2 decades. If i wasnt drunk i was high or something. I have 0 idea how to cope with typical every day life events. I am learning how to be an adult now.
I've also been on the fence about coffee. I can get skin crawling. I've finally allieviated a lot of factors that cause my anxiety and figured out what works what doesnt. To the point where i can indeed tell that coffee is a culprit. Just cant give it up yet.
I've also been on the fence about coffee. I can get skin crawling. I've finally allieviated a lot of factors that cause my anxiety and figured out what works what doesnt. To the point where i can indeed tell that coffee is a culprit. Just cant give it up yet.
Spiritual Learner
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 165
Wow what a start! Keep praying and keep posting!
In the begining your feelings will feel overwhelming at first but don't worry this will pass as each moment will! If you have sober/healthy friend/s call them and talk it out, post, read a book, go for a walk, just do something, sit and pray!
You can get through this one day at a time-one moment at a time. Say the Serenity Prayer several times! Good job! God bless you on your success!!!!!!!
In the begining your feelings will feel overwhelming at first but don't worry this will pass as each moment will! If you have sober/healthy friend/s call them and talk it out, post, read a book, go for a walk, just do something, sit and pray!
You can get through this one day at a time-one moment at a time. Say the Serenity Prayer several times! Good job! God bless you on your success!!!!!!!
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