I just CAN'T stop! Please help, any ideas are welcome
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ca
Posts: 51
Wasn't trying to put you down. But if it is a reality it is better to accept it. You are lucky to be learning about it now. The laziness etc. are just character defects that we all have. You get to work on them I'd you are sober.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Maybe you are just an alcoholic and that is why you drink? I don't see that idea helping anything. How about this instead: if you are like me, I drank to get drunk, I liked the buzz, the euphoria, and I drank til it really started to mess me up. Clinical depression, crippling anxiety, drinking all day and so on. The bizarre thing is that I was giving myself permission to act like that, I worked real hard to make sure there was always something to drink around the house, and usually a whole bunch. There was no magic or mystery there, no complicated reason. I bought booze and drank it.
I took responsibility for my drinking, it was something I had been doing to myself and those around me. I finally had enough and decided that I had control over my drinking to the extent that I could choose to never drink again. I won't permit myself to ever drink again. I stopped by deciding I could stop, and I did it.
Can you imagine waking up sober, what it might feel like, Lilou? What would be the first thing that you would do? Up early and go for a walk? Have a good breakfast and show up at work on time, maybe a little early, ready to go? Lots of energy, ideas, hope? A peaceful glow of peace inside you? How would that feel? Would you feel pretty danged proud in that situation? See if you can build a picture of you being sober in your mind.
Next, imagine that you are in charge of your drinking by conscious choice. You now choose to not take a drink, not one. You never feel hungover, disgusted with yourself, lost memory, ashamed, guilty, miserable, depressed, anxious, all those things that come from drinking. Can you visualize what that life will be like for you?
That life can be yours - it is right there in front of your face, waiting for you to choose. Are you ready to choose, Lilou?
I took responsibility for my drinking, it was something I had been doing to myself and those around me. I finally had enough and decided that I had control over my drinking to the extent that I could choose to never drink again. I won't permit myself to ever drink again. I stopped by deciding I could stop, and I did it.
Can you imagine waking up sober, what it might feel like, Lilou? What would be the first thing that you would do? Up early and go for a walk? Have a good breakfast and show up at work on time, maybe a little early, ready to go? Lots of energy, ideas, hope? A peaceful glow of peace inside you? How would that feel? Would you feel pretty danged proud in that situation? See if you can build a picture of you being sober in your mind.
Next, imagine that you are in charge of your drinking by conscious choice. You now choose to not take a drink, not one. You never feel hungover, disgusted with yourself, lost memory, ashamed, guilty, miserable, depressed, anxious, all those things that come from drinking. Can you visualize what that life will be like for you?
That life can be yours - it is right there in front of your face, waiting for you to choose. Are you ready to choose, Lilou?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 328
Alcohol touches the full range of personalities, color, gender, intelligence, age, height, weight and color of hair. There isn't any logic with its selection, Lilou. I made and lost millions, and also found myself drinking out of a paper bag. In the end, it turns out I'm a pretty normal guy that also happens to be an alcoholic.
It's pretty cool that your are seeing this side of yourself at such a young age. There's wisdom there that some would say I also had 30 years ago, but I chose to do nothing about it. It would take me a book to tell you what I've gained and lost in all those years. A summary would say the end had me taking one step forward and two steps back. That's not a good place, but I finally made the commitment to change all that.
Good on ya for posting. You found a great place here in SR.
It's pretty cool that your are seeing this side of yourself at such a young age. There's wisdom there that some would say I also had 30 years ago, but I chose to do nothing about it. It would take me a book to tell you what I've gained and lost in all those years. A summary would say the end had me taking one step forward and two steps back. That's not a good place, but I finally made the commitment to change all that.
Good on ya for posting. You found a great place here in SR.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Lilou 
Thank you everyone for your responses!
The hardest thing for me is to understand what's causing the problem drinking.
And I'm pretty sure now it is my lifestyle that’s causing me to drink so irresponsibly… Because really, for my age I still lead a pretty childish lifestyle, my mom paying for everything and arranging everything for me, even going grocery shopping and cleaning the place… So if I had more responsibilities, for instance had a job and didn’t have the option of staying in bed sick all day because of some hangover, but had to go to work no matter what to pay the rent, the alcohol problem would just disappear naturally (maybe a couple of shifts while hungover would teach me a lesson)…
Also, another reason I drink this way is because we never had alcohol at home and I never had too much money to buy it for myself, so for me it’s still largely the “forbidden fruit” and whenever someone buys it for me I automatically get this immature “drink it all while you can” attitude and often go overboard because of it…
Those points don’t even sound like excuses really.. maybe it is the reason.. And there is only one way to find out.. So I have decided to get a job and move out-- rent a room or an apartment.. with this will come the responsibilities that will discipline me and alcohol won’t be the “forbidden fruit” anymore. If my theory is correct, after I move out and become busy and occupied just like any normal person the drinking problem should just disappear on its own..but if it doesn’t.. it’s gonna suck. seriously..
The hardest thing for me is to understand what's causing the problem drinking.
And I'm pretty sure now it is my lifestyle that’s causing me to drink so irresponsibly… Because really, for my age I still lead a pretty childish lifestyle, my mom paying for everything and arranging everything for me, even going grocery shopping and cleaning the place… So if I had more responsibilities, for instance had a job and didn’t have the option of staying in bed sick all day because of some hangover, but had to go to work no matter what to pay the rent, the alcohol problem would just disappear naturally (maybe a couple of shifts while hungover would teach me a lesson)…
Also, another reason I drink this way is because we never had alcohol at home and I never had too much money to buy it for myself, so for me it’s still largely the “forbidden fruit” and whenever someone buys it for me I automatically get this immature “drink it all while you can” attitude and often go overboard because of it…
Those points don’t even sound like excuses really.. maybe it is the reason.. And there is only one way to find out.. So I have decided to get a job and move out-- rent a room or an apartment.. with this will come the responsibilities that will discipline me and alcohol won’t be the “forbidden fruit” anymore. If my theory is correct, after I move out and become busy and occupied just like any normal person the drinking problem should just disappear on its own..but if it doesn’t.. it’s gonna suck. seriously..
it could be you drink l because you are an alcoholic. i remember saying to myself," i know i'm an alcoholic, but why cant i stop drinking???" welp, it was because i didnt know what an alcoholic was.
one thing common for alcoholics is we stop growing mentally and emotionally when we first start drinking, so when i stopped at 36, i was really only 14 mentally and emotionally.
no matter what job i had or where i moved, i always took me along and that was the problem.
from the time i started drinking at about 14 until i stopped at 36 i can recall only one time where i had stopped for about 30 days. i was working 68 hours/week. i didnt do anything to change me and the thought of drinking never left me, and i drank again. the reason was because i had not conceded that alcohol was the problem in my life and i couldnt fix my thinkin with my thinkin.
the old saying help true for me:
wherever you go, there you are.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
The hardest thing for me is to understand what's causing the problem drinking.
i remember going thru that part as well. If i could only find an answer
a year later, there is no answer, it just became a problem.
the answer is quit drinkning
i remember going thru that part as well. If i could only find an answer
a year later, there is no answer, it just became a problem.
the answer is quit drinkning
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
