Prettynotsure

I feel like I've become the dumbest person imaginable. I'm well aware of PAWS symptoms as I seem to have all of them in full force. My brains dysfunction is causing me a lot of anxiety. Recovery wise, I'm 72 days sober from an alcohol addiction and I have zero desire to drink. But since quitting, my daily task are done in a perpetual fog, like I'm in a thick dream where I can see myself being an idiot. My memory is nonexistent. I'm and avid reader but can't seem to remember what was read a couple of paragraphs prior. Conversationally I barely get my point across. All together I seem to have lost what was once a steadfast rationale mind.

I get 8-10 hours of sleep a night, exercise, and eat a balanced diet. Physically I feel exhausted, which I feel stems from trying to push my brain to function normally at work and school. My doctor has cleared me from common abnormalities, glandular vitamin deficiency etc. I just feel like Im' constantly in slow motion and my body wants to wake up and function normally but has yet to do so. Subsequently I've begun to think irrationally. I don't desire a drink, rather I've convince myself that their are trace amounts of alcohol in everything I eat and it's perpetuating the withdrawal, mental, paws symptoms. Seriously, I know it's crazy but I'm terrified of vinegar, stupid. Its just my brain is tired, I'm afraid I'll feel out of it forever unless I remain 100% abstinate, so I overanalyze things to the point of not making sense.

It's silly, but I don't want to ever feel this way again or even worse be perpetuating it without knowing. I don't know what I'm looking for in feedback. I'm not hanging by a thread or anything just looking for some clarity other than from an expensive therapist. I miss the feeling, prior to before I ever drank, when I was generally easy going, mentally on point, calm with a sustainable energy. I'm hoping to physically turn the corner, my chemicals balance etc. If anyones had similar feelings in early recovery and time wise when the symptoms subsided I'd love to hear your story!

2granddaughters

I got sober and stayed sober in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I wish you the best in your chosen recovery program.

Bob R

CarolD

I found doing word games such as Scrabble and Crosswords
were helpful in early sobreity...

Welcome.......glad you are here

Rossy

Don't give up you can stay clean.

Prettynotsure

I'm not contemplating having a drink to alleviate the symptoms I've described. I'm 100% aware that the problem would be exasperated further. Some constructive insight into the progression of said symptoms going away via personal experience was what I was looking for. Regardless, I'm taking it one day at a time and remaining optimistic.

awuh1

For me, poor memory and lack of concentration continued full force for more than 6 months, then gradually improved. For the next 6 I had slightly different challenges. Somewhat after a year I started to get back some true clarity. Don’t be too hard on yourself now. When the clarity returns you will really appreciate it, and if you are like me, it will be better than ever.

Prettynotsure

Thank you awuh, your words are encouraging and help put things in perspective.

FredG

What are you doing for your sobriety? Are you in any kind of recovery program?

My biggest issue when I quit drinking was not the fact that I drank. It was the fact that I had been a drunken SOB and without the drinking I was still an SOB. I needed to fix that ... OK OK ... most of that. I'm still working on it.

AA and those in it are helping me do it

rdytoquit

I just wanted to respond and let you know how I'm feeling. I haven't been sober as long. It's been 44 days for me.

I am depressed and very irritable. Annoyed by everything... bored out of my mind.

I too find it difficult to concentrate on things also. I don't feel very sharp, I just feel like I'm here... just existing.

Yesterday, I was so irritated and angry at everything. I basically said this to my boyfriend "I just want to leave. I want to pick up and just drive somewhere and stop, and start a new life. I don't even know where I want to go. I don't have any plan. I hate it here, I hate I can't find a job, I feel as though I just hate everything... I am so glad I don't have a gun. I just need to get the **** out of here."

That was pretty close to how I feel. Then we went to the park and I walked/jogged 2.5 miles and felt better.

While I drank for many years, I believe the past few years I drank ALL day every day due to the above reasons. I am literally going crazy being stuck inside and not working. But I have had NO luck landing a job and I have NEVER had this problem. I'm 37 and this is the longest I have been out of work since I have been working full time! I am also in the IT field, so the longer I am out of work the more I information I forget/lose that must be current. I feel so screwed. It is VERY depressing.

While I don't go grab a beer or go get drunk, I do think about it. Yes, maybe it would be great to be able to get a buzz again and not think about it, but it's still there, it's very real, and its just harder to face now than it was drowning in alcohol to mask it somewhat.

Look at the bright side... You have a job. You get out. You may consider taking some vitamin B for the lack of energy and maybe make sure you're getting enough Vitamin D also. That can make us feel sluggish and foggy.

I'm more angry, depressed and frustrated... I not physically tired.

rocsoc

Prettynotsure you described my condition down to a t which speaks well for your ability to communicate. I too am not compelled to drink, but I can barely function. As someone said, this is a thinking disease, not a drinking disease. AA helped a small amount for me and I am currently trying anti-depressants which I fear will make me better before I am well.

Muunray

It's been about a year and a half now since I quit drinking. With a long and heavy drinking history it has really taken this long to start to really really feel like myself again. I look back and the last 30 years of drinking seem like a dream to me- who was that person?!

Prettynotsure

FredG: I'm not currently in any from of recovery program. I'd like more than anything to have a really smart psychiatrist to bounce things off of but I'm a broke starving college student and the school mentors/health department is a joke. I've been to AA, was required actually after a dui. I understand completely why it works for many and perhaps in the future it will have an appeal to me, but as of now I choose not to. Honestly, I never think about wanting a drink. It's black and white in my mind that I've just moved on. My focus now is on my health particularly mentally. AA right now just makes me feel sad for others and over think things in my own case that may not even apply. I look at things from a scientific perspective, when my brain was addicted to the substance it will go through pain upon removal, given time without the substance I can physically return to a time in the not so distant past when I was mentally balanced and happy prior to ever being introduced to said substance. Nothing against AA, but it adds a lot of emotional attachment to alcohol dependency that I frankly don't feel now, maybe I will in the future.

Prettynotsure

Rdytoquit: I'm a firm believer it gets better with time. You can't let your mind play tricks on you, you've taken the path of drinking to its end and found what? Nothing. So now we're trying life on a new path and its not easy, as they say nothing worth it ever is. I am as you say trying to daily look on the bright side. I do have a job and "get out". But one persons worst day is another's best. It's all about perspective. I can completely relate to you simply hating everything and wanting to get away, it's common in the beginning. Embracing life when we've ruined a good portion of it isn't exactly appealing. I'm setting small goals, moving in a month to a city far away from everything/anyone. My current city is dead to me. All my friends, hangout spots, daily activities are tied to the old me and I"m focused on creating someone new. A fresh environment gives new perspective and can be a big help in addition to your own personal work. These are just my feelings, take them with a grain of salt.

tomsteve

AA right now just makes me feel sad for others and over think things in my own case that may not even apply. I look at things from a scientific perspective, when my brain was addicted to the substance it will go through pain upon removal, given time without


ok, look at things in a scientific way or however: it is nothing but your thinking that is making you feel sad and over think things. you arent unique. there are many who think just like you in many different recovery programs.
stopping drinking makes a person dry. change makes a person sober.
just gotta want it and put in the footwork to change. but for that, i know i couldnt use my thinking. that got me really screwed up.

SASA

I am in now for 16 month. At the moment I am in a phase where I am again very foggy, have no energy and no desire to do anything. Than I have phases where I burst with energy and just want to keep going. Same with the brain fog, it comes and goes, but over all it is getting less and less of the foggy phases. I hope one day they will complely disappear. Hope this helps.

Bazerington

Same for me, I'm 66 days, and feel like I'm living in sludge... I havedays when I feel like I'm able to do anything, then WHAM!!
I'm like a whimpering child, afraid of my own shadow, and unable to speak with exhaustion and anxiety...
I hope it doesn't go on too long, I've got some real living to do :-)!!
Well done on two and a half months by the way!!!!!

icafe

I am 16 weeks alcohol free now. My mind feels more alert sober. I do have some days though where its foggy. I am pretty sure that just another normal body function maybe a chemical is out of balance, or I ate too much of some food. Try some vitamins. Everyone feels groggy sometimes even people that have never touched alcohol.

cope35

Hi prettynotsure,
When I got sober I knew nothing about paws & thought I was losing my mind. I had every one possible. The one I hated most was when I'd be in the middle of a sentence/conversation & just zone out - so embarrassing! And i was constantly droppong thing like my keys, hot coffee, food...i was a mess. My fogginess lifted around 6 months. I can answer trivial again thanks to AA & all of you!

bjhallgrav

Yeah I remember the 'Brain Fog' of early sobriety. It lasted for about 5 or 6 months for me. Anything complicated was just overwhelming & I had zero energy to do anything at all let alone understand WTH was going on around me.

Someone explained it takes time for the body to rebalance the blood sugar levels, because when we were drinking our blood sugar was high all the time from the sugar in the alcohol (regardless of What we drank) and when we quit our bodies need time to readjust to normal blood sugar levels. Made sense to me.
I was also told that our brain chemistry needs time to normalize too, might be something to that as well.
Either way, don't worry about it as it will pass, and life will get better.

Had a friend in AA used to always say, "First it gets different, and THEN it gets better."
Barb G

mfsteve1

According to my smart phone, it's day 67 for me. Turns out there's an app for that.

My brain is starting to kick back in this week and productivity is rising sharply. I'm setting priorities correctly, scheduling work tasks in the correct order, etc. The dry drunk thing is also waning. This happened fast; like over the last few days.

Hope you get here soon.