Thought it was under control
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: far north
Posts: 3
Thought it was under control
First timer so I hope I get this right
I hadn't drank in twenty five years till 2009
Active in church, wife and kids but lost in my business
Till the bottom fell out with the market I lost it all then the tax
Man came knocking four audits later and in for 70k fell into a depressed state
and didn't even know it started drinking at first to num me then to just have it
But yesterday was the worst don't remember what happen or where I was
Came home drank some more some time during the night was arguing with
My wife and it was all bad woke up this morning and I feel like crap
You know it's funny I have raised my children in church and I have deep roots in church and I'm a drunk, this monster comes out when I drink that takes over
And I hate him so I'm back to day one Ive been blessed with a good wife and kids a God that Loves me in spite of my down falls he will be there to pick me up as he's done in the past but I now know I have to do my part and keep the monster in the bottle I will pray and ask for forgiveness ans strength for me and for all of you that are fighting that demon
I'm in for a battle and I know some of you are to so pray for me and I'll pray for you
will lean on each other with words of encouragement and love
I hadn't drank in twenty five years till 2009
Active in church, wife and kids but lost in my business
Till the bottom fell out with the market I lost it all then the tax
Man came knocking four audits later and in for 70k fell into a depressed state
and didn't even know it started drinking at first to num me then to just have it
But yesterday was the worst don't remember what happen or where I was
Came home drank some more some time during the night was arguing with
My wife and it was all bad woke up this morning and I feel like crap
You know it's funny I have raised my children in church and I have deep roots in church and I'm a drunk, this monster comes out when I drink that takes over
And I hate him so I'm back to day one Ive been blessed with a good wife and kids a God that Loves me in spite of my down falls he will be there to pick me up as he's done in the past but I now know I have to do my part and keep the monster in the bottle I will pray and ask for forgiveness ans strength for me and for all of you that are fighting that demon
I'm in for a battle and I know some of you are to so pray for me and I'll pray for you
will lean on each other with words of encouragement and love
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Paultime 
You know it's funny I have raised my children in church and I have deep roots in church and I'm a drunk...
If you want to get recovered, you gotta do some work. God's blessings are conditional.
Trust God, clean house, help others - involves more than just "faith without works". It involves a whole lotta inventory, amends and service to others.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I have the disease of alcoholism which is best treated by Alcoholics Anonymous.
I find the God of my understanding in the basements of churches at the AA meetings.
Normal folks pray in the Sanctuary and I pray best in the basement.
All the best Paul
Bob R
I find the God of my understanding in the basements of churches at the AA meetings.
Normal folks pray in the Sanctuary and I pray best in the basement.
All the best Paul
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
[QUOTE=Boleo;3457574]. If you just want to get saved? All you gotta do is put your life in the hands of Jesus. Salvation is unconditional.
not true. please refer to the bible for more information about salvation.
not true. please refer to the bible for more information about salvation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 153
Hi Paul, welcome to the SR community, a great place to be! I first wanted to congratulate you on 25 years of sobriety, to most of us here that is an enormous achievement. If you have been picking up again since 2009, that is only a few years and by comparison, a short amount of time. With a little determination and lots of support, and through working a program such as AA, AVRT (Rational Recovery), or SMART recovery, you should be able to transition back to sobriety and stay there.
I wish you the best of luck.
I wish you the best of luck.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Paultime - we're so glad you joined. I felt all alone in my own private hell, until I came here and was embraced by so many who truly understood. I found the courage to change by opening up and listening to other's stories. Not being alone made all the difference.
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