OklaBH

Step 4--inventory is the worst.

I am working 40+ a week. My 401K is "not so ok" ---I owe a TON of money. God gave me 3 sons(thank you) between the house payment, car payments, car insurance (for 3 boys) I cant borrow another dime from my 401K--if I did I could never retire.

Tonights AA was about "inventory" they said to run your life like a business.... my business is in the crapper!

tomsteve

. yer not alone.

OklaBH

Im glad Im in good company tom!!!!!

zjw

Yep join the club. I'll never see retirement. I got more month then money 4 kids 1 on the way. *sigh* All the more reason to get healthy looks like i'll need to work for a while... All of the usual norms they brainwash us to be dont apply as much go to college (why more student loans higher tuition no jobs), save for retirement (why i loose my job just once or have some problem POOF its gone you think social security will be there? ), save for your childs education (i'm still trying to pay my student loans seriously?!). There used to be pentions college used to mean something and used to be affordable. Food used to cost less lots of things really.
The point is things have changed and it can really quickly make you feel inadeqaute. That feeling of inadequacy for me quickly leads to Oh hell i'll never get this lemme drink this away.
Now i'm happy theres bread on the table today. I'm happy the sun was shining. I'm happy the moutains look so nice today. I'm happy about today. I'll worry about those other bridges when i get to them. Not to be frivalous but i can only do so much i simply cant beat myself up about it anymore.

zjw

Just to add. For me I'm finding what really matters is are there smiles on there faces? do they have food? Are they clean? did they have a place to sleep? Yep? Awesome. The rest of it that the world would have you believe you need you simply dont. I've seen the happiest of kids in the worst of circumstances and kids who have it all miserable as hell. I've seen grown adults the same way as well.

aeo1313

Mine too. Between my husband and I we have 3 degrees and 1 masters and we just got on food stamps.

Granted- maybe teaching wasn't the most lucrative field

But look how happy we are. Right? Right? Am I convinced yet???

My kids do have smiles though, roof over their head, parents who love them, food in their bellies, and grandparents that are able to pick up the $$ slack. Thank G-D!!

shakeel

There is a flip side to that coin. I am 42 and I have no retirement, no wife, no Kids and just sobered up. oh yeah, I also have no money, literally no money, nothing. everything I ever made I drunk right away. I thought I could never sober up, why? would I say since I have nothing left, but my last relapse was so bad, ended up with a scar on my forhead, that I could not work anymore for the time being, which means no money for booze. suicidal thoughts and what not; gotten back in touch with sponsor, worked the steps, I'm n step 11 and "somehow" (higher power and the work ) things are getting better. a family member agreed to pay for surgery to fix the scar, another family member pays for internet and other bills and an uncle gave me a chance and started working at a farm and getting a bachelor degree. and by the way I still have no money.

Sapling

There is a part in the directions for that 4th step that really jumped off the page at me...I was pretty overwhelmed as I was working on it. It's on page 68. It's in the Fear inventory...But it mentions any problem we may have.

Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

CarolD

I like to add up my assets ...I make Gratitude Lists..

tomsteve

one thing i am greatful for having explained is that fear of economic insecurity will leave us.doesnt mean i will have money problems, but i will be okay today.
finding out i had cancer 13 months into recovery and all of the treatments and tests i have been through have me further in debt than i ever was when i was drinkin.the amazing thing is i am okay with it and know a drink wont help.

ru12

I'm still alive. I'm sober today. I have a family that I love and love me. I consider myself blessed beyond belief. Make the best decisions that you can, save a little, and enjoy the time you have on the spinning rock.

NYCDoglvr

I've been where you are many times. It helps to focus on what you can do today instead of thinking about changing your whole life. I freak out when I add up all the problems, things I did wrong. And, compare yourself to yourself.

bmwcycle

Apple went bankrupt once also, because they had a bad business plan. They went back to the drawing board and focused upon what they could do well and they learned from their mistakes and did not repeat them and executed the new plan.

Get a new plan on how to get into the black. I have and so far I am making strides and more importantly feel like I am in control and not a victim...

Best of luck,

OklaBH

You guys are awsome. I think my inventory will be happy stuff for a few nights! LOL