Challenging events.. How to deal?
Run to live... live to run
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Challenging events.. How to deal?
Hello. I just signed up today. I posted ‘my story’ on the new to recovery board earlier today.
Just wanted to vent about my challenging weekend. I’m 25 years old. My drinking has been getting worse in the last couple years. I’m blacking out almost every time I drink, and getting out of control and embarrassing. I feel shame from the stories people tell me and even more shame not remembering any of it. I’ve just come to the realization that I have problems with alcohol after my dad ended up hospitalized last weekend because of alcohol. The first weekend of June, I attended an all day concert and drank 17 glasses of wine. After this I realized “whoa. This is not good” I decided the day after that 6/3 I would not drink anymore, and haven’t since.
I went out Saturday night with my boyfriend and we ended up in a bar watching the hockey game. I became so aware of my drinking problem. It was killing me that I couldn’t “have” a drink. I knew that I didn’t need one (and didn’t really want one) but I’m not able to be in a bar without drinking. I fought off the reasoning “well, I can only have a couple” and made it the whole night drinking just diet coke. After we left, I felt really good about myself. The next day was even harder. We went down to Baltimore to see the Orioles game. There was alcohol everywhere!! This game had been planned for months so I didn’t want to cancel it. Luckily (haha) I have Celiac Disease and I’m not able to drink beer so most of the desire to drink was cancelled by not having anything for me to drink anyway, but it was hard. By the end of the day however, I decided I was GLAD I didn’t have pee a million times, I could remember the game, and I didn’t embarrass myself, or my boyfriend in public. Maybe it’s not the best way, but putting myself in these situations are what I need. I need to be able to do “normal people” things and see that I’m capable of doing it. I knew deep down I could, and I did. I will, however stay away from bars for a while.
How do you guys cope in situations that aren’t bars (like baseball games or other places alcohol is available)?
Just wanted to vent about my challenging weekend. I’m 25 years old. My drinking has been getting worse in the last couple years. I’m blacking out almost every time I drink, and getting out of control and embarrassing. I feel shame from the stories people tell me and even more shame not remembering any of it. I’ve just come to the realization that I have problems with alcohol after my dad ended up hospitalized last weekend because of alcohol. The first weekend of June, I attended an all day concert and drank 17 glasses of wine. After this I realized “whoa. This is not good” I decided the day after that 6/3 I would not drink anymore, and haven’t since.
I went out Saturday night with my boyfriend and we ended up in a bar watching the hockey game. I became so aware of my drinking problem. It was killing me that I couldn’t “have” a drink. I knew that I didn’t need one (and didn’t really want one) but I’m not able to be in a bar without drinking. I fought off the reasoning “well, I can only have a couple” and made it the whole night drinking just diet coke. After we left, I felt really good about myself. The next day was even harder. We went down to Baltimore to see the Orioles game. There was alcohol everywhere!! This game had been planned for months so I didn’t want to cancel it. Luckily (haha) I have Celiac Disease and I’m not able to drink beer so most of the desire to drink was cancelled by not having anything for me to drink anyway, but it was hard. By the end of the day however, I decided I was GLAD I didn’t have pee a million times, I could remember the game, and I didn’t embarrass myself, or my boyfriend in public. Maybe it’s not the best way, but putting myself in these situations are what I need. I need to be able to do “normal people” things and see that I’m capable of doing it. I knew deep down I could, and I did. I will, however stay away from bars for a while.
How do you guys cope in situations that aren’t bars (like baseball games or other places alcohol is available)?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
when i got into recovery, the andswer to the question at the end was no:
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.
Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?
i didnt just realize i had a problem. i knew alcohol was gonna kill me if i didnt kill myself.
there was absolutely no way for this ex drunk to stop drinking if i kept walking into temptation. i had to put getting sober 1st and foremost and learn about me and how to live.
last night i went to see willie nelson with my girlfriend. theres no way i would have gotten through that without drinking 7 years ago.
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.
Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?
i didnt just realize i had a problem. i knew alcohol was gonna kill me if i didnt kill myself.
there was absolutely no way for this ex drunk to stop drinking if i kept walking into temptation. i had to put getting sober 1st and foremost and learn about me and how to live.
last night i went to see willie nelson with my girlfriend. theres no way i would have gotten through that without drinking 7 years ago.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 464
but I’m not able to be in a bar without drinking
Ok, that doesn't work so easily- but that is what you will have to do at least temporarily. I can tell you that today I am free to go anywhere, I have been places where alcoholic is served and it didn't phase me a little bit. I do not fear the barber shop.
The 12 steps freed me, they might help you
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
It IS tough to avoid situations where alcohol is involved ... it is everywhere. I don't go to bars or parties, but it seems sometimes like no matter how I try to avoid it, it is still there. It's at the grocery/convenience store. It's on TV. It's in magazines. And it's right next to me, as my husband is an active alcoholic. I've just come to the realization that no matter where I go, it's always going to be there so the change has to come from within ME. That's why I go to AA, work the steps, meet with my sponsor, and read everything I can get my hands on pertaining to alcoholism/recovery. It helps ... a LOT.
It gets easier, I promise. For now, though, you're going to have to be especially vigilant. Bars are a big temptation ... if you can avoid them, do so. The other situations are harder to avoid, I realize. Where I live, alcohol is a part of everyday life for people - it's a party town and people are out buying beer at 7 a.m. If I were to avoid all of the situations/events here where alcohol is involved, I'd never leave the house. If you're honestly working on your sobriety and developing the tools to help you stay sober, these situations will get easier as time goes on. You did great this weekend - keep going! It can be done!
It gets easier, I promise. For now, though, you're going to have to be especially vigilant. Bars are a big temptation ... if you can avoid them, do so. The other situations are harder to avoid, I realize. Where I live, alcohol is a part of everyday life for people - it's a party town and people are out buying beer at 7 a.m. If I were to avoid all of the situations/events here where alcohol is involved, I'd never leave the house. If you're honestly working on your sobriety and developing the tools to help you stay sober, these situations will get easier as time goes on. You did great this weekend - keep going! It can be done!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
What helped me the most in the beginning was connecting to a local
AA group with a lot of other singles.
We were in D.C. and did all sorts of interesting and fun things as a group.
Yes..we did meetings too... and that is where I learned how to live
sober and enjoy the new lifestyle
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum...
.
AA group with a lot of other singles.
We were in D.C. and did all sorts of interesting and fun things as a group.
Yes..we did meetings too...
and that is where I learned how to live sober and enjoy the new lifestyle
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum...
.
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