WindOfChange

I have absorbed the information that seems to point to the fact that AA has a high success rate, and that I need to AT LEAST give it a chance. The "90 meetings in 90 days" is pretty much impossible, due to circumstances at the moment.
I found out my mom has a very aggressive cancer, and I want to be there for her, wholly and fully, and not buzzed. But the buzz helps me deal with what I know is going to be an awful time.........

I tried (twice) to attend an AA meeting near me and BOTH times, ended up finding doors locked and no one around. It took a lot of courage for me to go, and when I had to drive away, I felt both sadness and relief.

My question is, (assuming I can finally find my way into an aa meeting), can you skip from one to another? If they're doing the BB on one and OS on another, does it matter? If they're doing the BB, shouldn't I be starting at the beginning, or can I just jump in at the middle?

This has been going on too long. I have to do something. I am willing to try AA, AVRT anything and everything. I want to be free.
This news about my mom has made me have mixed emotions...."f** it, you have a good reason to drink" and on the flip side "you really need to be straight for your mom"

My hubby gave me a mothers day card today that made me out to be a perfect mom. Everything it said was true........a while back.......but not since the alcohol has taken over. I felt so unworthy of his love. I said,"Thank you. That was true at one time, but not anymore" he just hugged me. I'm lucky to have a man who stands beside me. I guess he took that "for better or worse" seriously....I don't deserve him

tomsteve

did you start drinking in the middle? AA is 100% successful for the people that work and live the program, from the beginning. 90 in 90 wont do anything without footwork. what we have all had to do is get sober for ourselves and oursleves alone.
it sounds like your husband understand more that you that you are not a bad person. you are a sick person. but there is a solution!!! and AA has pulled the drunkest of the drunkest, most desperate of the desperate, and the most hopeless and helpless out of the pits of alcoholism and insanity.
i would highly suggest hittin the AA website and lookin for other meetings in your area. if theres any phone numbers ccall em!!! and start praying to a higher power for help! you are worth it and there is help!

Db1105

The 90 meetings in 90 days is just a suggestion, just like everything else in AA. Yes you can jump around to any meeting you want. I will suggest that you look in your phone book and call your local AA intergroup office and ask another woman to take or meet you at a meeting.

WindOfChange

ce different people.

sugarbear1

One of the purposes of the local intergroup office of AA is to let you know where meetings are and if they still exist. It's not really a taxi service, but they will have someone call you and talk to you about AA and their experiences. Sponsorship is highly likely to spring from that call.

Get to any meeting you can, don't worry if you missed the last one, but get there. You'll feel better being with a group of recovering drunks! A sponsor can be helpful and can guide you through the steps, the program of recovery.

So sorry about your mom. Stay strong and stay stopped!
Hugs,

WindOfChange

Well, I lost my entire post.
The "ce different people" was the end of a long rant. More than all of you wanted to hear anyway. I need to start writing in MS Word and doing a paste.

WindOfChange

Thanks so much. That's the information I need. I thiink the sites that have times for meetings might not be up to date, which is sad. I guess I have to call, which takes another boat load of courage

WindOfChange

100%?
Do you have something to back that up?
I'm not being a b**ch. I am truely looking for proof and resources......
100% seems too easy. BUT if that is true, I want to know where to get started

WindOfChange

Thanks! I don't mean to sound ungratful. I know there is no magic pill, but wouldnt that be nice? Freedom comes with hard work....I am a tough girl. Wish me luck, cus I think this alcohol $**T is tougher than me

Dee74

it's not tougher than you - but we get to think that way after we drink a while.
I'm really sorry for all you're struggling with WOC but I totally agree that facing this sober is by far the better way to go.

I'm willing to bet you're a lot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for - but you won't know that until you face stuff without the drink.

As for 100%...I'm not a devotee of any particular method, but I believe if you put 100% in you'll get 100% out

D

tomdecel

I'm 100% sober without a program. You can be successful too, but you need to make sobriety your absolute number 1 priority and treat it like it is the most important thing in your life. It is a full 1000% commitment.

Best to you and you Mother.

miamifella

I used to get frustrated by non-existent meetings or incorrect addresses on meeting sites. But remember that 12-step programs are largely run by volunteers--so you have to be a bit forgiving.

CarolD

Here is a good link about different types of AA meetings...and what to expect

Your First AA Meeting<

I asked a friend to attend my first meeting with me...it was a Speakers meeting ...and any one is welcomed to those...

I never pay attention to the stat's on recovery ...too many variables Impossible to be accurate...IMO
However...God and AA works great for me...I'm 100% recovered...
not had a drink in 23 years.


Sorry about your Mom's illness... ..hope she finds a cancer group quickly.

Prayers for all of you going out.

dawnrunner

I'm sorry about your mother. You are right that this situation is one that alcohol will make worse.

Best wishes to you in this journey.

tomsteve

if ya go to meetings, you will meet people that have overcome their alcohol problem. we are 100% successfull one day at a time. no, it isnt easy at first. gettin sober isnt easy. staying sober is.
what i have to back it up is my word. i have met thousands of alcoholics that put in the footwork and are 100% successful one day at a time.

Mark75

Would we really want a method for one group of people, or a person, to have the ability to change a person's thinking, unilaterally, from the outside.... with 100% certainty? Kinda scary if you ask me. Kinda like the A-Bomb and all that. That kind of power could fall into the wrong hands... LOL.... I thank God that a person, or group of people, can't do that to another, to have that kind of power over someone else.

God has that power. Whether one chooses to believe that or not. And if you don't, do you believe that the power to change your thinking resides within?

Free will is a gift. You can use it, with help from a higher power, or an inner, hard to describe, source.... to change your thinking and get recovered. 100%.

Need proof? Look around you, here on SR.

whatevername

Sorry to hear about your Mom, keep coming back here too

GerandTwine

WoC, I believe "mixed emotions" are the basis of addiction for all of us. For me, the reasons to drink became very habitual. Then, as bad things happened, the reasons to quit loomed bigger and more often, but the reasons to drink didn't go away. Then, as it got so bad, I utilized that unique human capacity I believe we all have to override a strongly ingrained habit. My deep personal attitude about trying to protect my drinking habit flipped overnight after a bad episode, and I chose to thereafter perceive the desire to continue drinking as an arch enemy. It turned out that arch enemy had some very important weaknesses that made it easier to beat than I originally imagined.

AVRT is based upon "mixed emotions". You can solve the problem of an unwanted dependence on alcohol by sorting out your thoughts and feelings about future drinking using AVRT, and exercising your ability to NOT act upon certain thoughts and feelings.

eJoshua

I think if you're really willing to try anything and everything, and more importantly, to follow through with actually doing the work, then you will be just fine. Try AA and see if it works for you. Don't worry about trying to do it perfectly, just give it a try and see how it feels. Try AVRT at the same time, what have you got to lose? Something's bound to stick if you are as determined as you say you are.

Sorry to hear about your mom. I think being sober and fully present for her would be a great gift to her as she's dealing with this disease.

WindOfChange

Can you give me some advice? A helpful link? I am so depressed. I lost my one and only best friend a few years ago (duh-alcohol). I have no one I can trust to talk to. If it weren't for the fact that I see suicide as being so SO super selfish and wrong on so many levels.....