My husband's binge drinking...he wants help but we don't know where to go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
My husband's binge drinking...he wants help but we don't know where to go.
My husband has been binge-drinking for years. I am at the point where I can no longer take it and I'm ready to leave with our children for good. He struggles with anxiety and what I believe is PTSD (I'm not a doctor so of course that may not be the case). Anyway, the confusing thing about this is he can go as long as a year without drinking, but when he does it's catastrophic. He ends up in a very bad place, gets very angry, then sad and distraught. He blacks out and basically just goes off the deep end. It turns my life upside down when it's happening and I have to live the rest of the time worrying about when the next time will be.
He is claiming he's willing to do anything. I know he doesn't have a typical physical addiction to alcohol. I feel like it's more like bottled-up anxiety and anger that he occasionally turns to alcohol to relieve. I know that he has no problem resisting it most of the time. But when he gets into certain situations socially he struggles with not feeling "normal." I am just looking for some advice on what kind of treatment he should seek. Should he start with a counselor who specializes in alcohol, or would it be more of an anxiety/PTSD specialist? He is willing to do this right away, and frankly if he doesn't, I can't live with him anymore. I would love to keep our family together and see him be successful.
He is claiming he's willing to do anything. I know he doesn't have a typical physical addiction to alcohol. I feel like it's more like bottled-up anxiety and anger that he occasionally turns to alcohol to relieve. I know that he has no problem resisting it most of the time. But when he gets into certain situations socially he struggles with not feeling "normal." I am just looking for some advice on what kind of treatment he should seek. Should he start with a counselor who specializes in alcohol, or would it be more of an anxiety/PTSD specialist? He is willing to do this right away, and frankly if he doesn't, I can't live with him anymore. I would love to keep our family together and see him be successful.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
I noticed you have found our Friends and Family Forum too...lot's of support
and info there for you...that's good.
I don't have an answer....I have no experience with your situation.
Sorry it's happening to you and your family....
I noticed you have found our Friends and Family Forum too...lot's of support
and info there for you...that's good.
I don't have an answer....I have no experience with your situation.
Sorry it's happening to you and your family....
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Hi Emmy -
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I think counseling might not be a bad idea at all. There are a couple things you could try, perhaps group counseling to help with his communication issues. CBT or REBT therapy could help with developing more positive thought patterns, although I don't have any personal experience with those therapies.
Honestly, I think the most important thing will be just finding a counselor that he feels comfortable talking to. I would try different therapists until he finds one that he can open up to. I had to do a little looking around before I found someone I liked.
Also, you could try bringing him to a clinical psychologist to get some advice. They might be able to provide you with a good start point for therapy and probably provide some referrals, etc.
Hang in there.
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I think counseling might not be a bad idea at all. There are a couple things you could try, perhaps group counseling to help with his communication issues. CBT or REBT therapy could help with developing more positive thought patterns, although I don't have any personal experience with those therapies.
Honestly, I think the most important thing will be just finding a counselor that he feels comfortable talking to. I would try different therapists until he finds one that he can open up to. I had to do a little looking around before I found someone I liked.
Also, you could try bringing him to a clinical psychologist to get some advice. They might be able to provide you with a good start point for therapy and probably provide some referrals, etc.
Hang in there.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Emmy,
Yours appears to be a complex problem for which professional help seems the most logical place to start. Perhaps the family doctor, who will know your family, will have some useful suggestions.
As this is the alcoholism forum I am assuming you are wondering if your husband's symptoms might indicate he is alcoholic. It's possible. For alcoholics of my type it is not so much how much, how often or what we drink, but what happens when we drink. there are binge drinkers with extreme lenghts between drinks in AA, it is not that unusual. But it can make the self diagnosis quite difficult because it seems most of the time we are ok.
The characteristic that seems to identify the alcoholic most in this situation is the phenomenon of craving which kicks in after the first drink. From when alcohol gets into the system, the alcoholic loses all control of how much he drinks and it seems it is impossible for him to stop until the spree is over. Then he may stay dry for a considerable period, perhaps consciously not wanting to drink, then one day out of the blue he has this mysterious mental blank spot where he forgets past disasters, and picks up on the flimsiest pretext, and the cycle repeats.
This could be part of the problem but there maybe other areas (PTSD) that also need treatment.
It might be worth your husband contacting AA and talking to a few members or perhaps attending some meetings to see if that makes any sense to him. Generally speaking, for us the drinking is but a symptom of a deeper disorder. Many of us have "felt different' or had trouble fitting in and all of us suffered from anxiety to some degree. So there might be some common ground there. At least with the big gap between binges there will be time to check some things out.
Yours appears to be a complex problem for which professional help seems the most logical place to start. Perhaps the family doctor, who will know your family, will have some useful suggestions.
As this is the alcoholism forum I am assuming you are wondering if your husband's symptoms might indicate he is alcoholic. It's possible. For alcoholics of my type it is not so much how much, how often or what we drink, but what happens when we drink. there are binge drinkers with extreme lenghts between drinks in AA, it is not that unusual. But it can make the self diagnosis quite difficult because it seems most of the time we are ok.
The characteristic that seems to identify the alcoholic most in this situation is the phenomenon of craving which kicks in after the first drink. From when alcohol gets into the system, the alcoholic loses all control of how much he drinks and it seems it is impossible for him to stop until the spree is over. Then he may stay dry for a considerable period, perhaps consciously not wanting to drink, then one day out of the blue he has this mysterious mental blank spot where he forgets past disasters, and picks up on the flimsiest pretext, and the cycle repeats.
This could be part of the problem but there maybe other areas (PTSD) that also need treatment.
It might be worth your husband contacting AA and talking to a few members or perhaps attending some meetings to see if that makes any sense to him. Generally speaking, for us the drinking is but a symptom of a deeper disorder. Many of us have "felt different' or had trouble fitting in and all of us suffered from anxiety to some degree. So there might be some common ground there. At least with the big gap between binges there will be time to check some things out.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
