Hi Emmy,
Yours appears to be a complex problem for which professional help seems the most logical place to start. Perhaps the family doctor, who will know your family, will have some useful suggestions.
As this is the alcoholism forum I am assuming you are wondering if your husband's symptoms might indicate he is alcoholic. It's possible. For alcoholics of my type it is not so much how much, how often or what we drink, but what happens when we drink. there are binge drinkers with extreme lenghts between drinks in AA, it is not that unusual. But it can make the self diagnosis quite difficult because it seems most of the time we are ok.
The characteristic that seems to identify the alcoholic most in this situation is the phenomenon of craving which kicks in after the first drink. From when alcohol gets into the system, the alcoholic loses all control of how much he drinks and it seems it is impossible for him to stop until the spree is over. Then he may stay dry for a considerable period, perhaps consciously not wanting to drink, then one day out of the blue he has this mysterious mental blank spot where he forgets past disasters, and picks up on the flimsiest pretext, and the cycle repeats.
This could be part of the problem but there maybe other areas (PTSD) that also need treatment.
It might be worth your husband contacting AA and talking to a few members or perhaps attending some meetings to see if that makes any sense to him. Generally speaking, for us the drinking is but a symptom of a deeper disorder. Many of us have "felt different' or had trouble fitting in and all of us suffered from anxiety to some degree. So there might be some common ground there. At least with the big gap between binges there will be time to check some things out.