Alkali

Hi there

I am a student (23 years old), and am going out with a 25 year old girl who is also student at my University. I don't drink any more than a half pint or pint of beer once a month or so, but my girl needs some help (she asked for help, not me telling her - just in case you are wondering).

We want to get engaged, but when she is sober, she says that she wants to stop her addiction before we think about marriage.

She has been drinking heavily for about 2 or 3 years, and by that I mean 2 bottles of vodka and/or 2 or 3 bottles of 13% wine. This has normally been when she is not with me, at her best friends house (her friend drinks lots of vokda too). She says the type of drink makes no difference, its just the alcohol that satisfies the craving.

We worked out a kind of plan, it has 10 points in the list, and had guidelines for amounts to drink etc, but she ignored it a few days later when she was craving, so its worthless.

I'm at a point now when I'm searching for help.


Regards,
Alkali.

PS: I heard that you can buy tablets that you can take to make alcohol taste disgusting, and if anyone knows what this is called or anything, could you tell us. She really wants to try this.

bookworm

Hiya Alkali
how about AA? And perhaps Al-Anon for you, too. My partner is an alcoholic and I attend Al-Anon meetings and they are very helpful. Please have a look at the Al-Anon section of the forums and you may well find some really helpful stuff there.
Good luck, love - I hope you both find the answer.
HugZ
Sandra

Chy

Hi Alkali and welcome to SR!

Well I'm glad she see's she need's to quit and has asked for help. However, she has to be 100% willing to accept this as a way of life. No half-assed attempt will work, it's all or nothing. Now some who need to detox have to ween themselves with medical supervison, if that's not the case for her she has to want to quit more than anything, she has to go through any measure to avoid drinking if she's not willing to do that, then it's just not her time to surrender. That has to happen within herself. She need's a means of support with people like her, though there are many alternatives, AA worked for me. Maybe she can go to counseling at the University, most offer resources for addictions free of charge. If she has a relationship with a church, she can try that. However she decides to quit when she is ready she will need support, this is extremly difficult to do alone. I havn't seen anyone be able to do it myself included, alone.

As for you, if you want to get involved in learning about alcoholisms, handle the relationship with an alcoholic please visit the Al-Anon forums and perhaps try a meeting in your area. There is a lot of help for all parties concerned! Glad your with us!

Don W

Hi Alkali, Welcome to SR. I'm glad she is seeking help. My wife and I went through many of the things you posted about. They didn't work. As you can read in the other posts she needs to deal with her alcohol problem. You need to deal with the effects her alcohol problem has on you. You can give the support and encouragement she will need. As much as you may want to, you can't get her sober, this is something she has to do. As Chy said, she needs to understand the need to change. I could not continue to do and go where I wanted and stay sober. I've had to keep myself away from drinking situations. I am about 7 months sober and my life has improved. However, even if it didn't I still can't drink. This will not take place overnight. Someone gave us a bottle of wine yesterday. I was never much of a wine drinker but, all I've been thinking of is that wine. I even got up in the middle of the night to watch TV. I found myself looking at that bottle under the tree. Needless to say, I must get rid of it. Keep posting and try and get her to some professional help.
The amount she has been drinking I would suggest medical help. Don W

Bandmaster

Alkali,
The drug you're probably referring to is called Antabuse. But it doesn't make the alcohol taste bad...it makes one throw it up. (Well, I guess it DOES make the alcohol taste bad... the second time). Prescription only. Get her to a doctor if she is asking for help. Good luck to you both.

Alkali

Thankyou very much for your posts on the matter.

We have read your replies and concidering what action to take next. Doctor is one of the first on the list (to get a refferal), and maybe that drug if possible.

Thanks for your wishes of support. Its much appreciated.

Regards,
Alkali

Chy

Sorry Alkali,
Missed the part about the antabuse and there is another one out there. You have to be real careful if going that route, make sure she discusses all the side-effects from taking it. I havn't used it but I've heard you have to be very careful, anything with alcohol in it will cause some unpleasant effects. Mouthwash, sometimes colognes, cough medicines, just talk to the doctor about this. Wish her well for us, she can do it if she is truley ready, and we'll be here to support you both!

Alkali

Thanks Chy.

I have passed on some details to her about the Antabuse, this quote from the website www.bartleby.com backs up everything you have said about it:

Even after reading this she said she wants to use the drug, she is very determined. However, we will of course discuss this with the doctor first.

Thanks again.

Chy

We all know what best suites us in or road to recovery, there's no set path to follow. Again, we're here for her and you when she's ready and needs that extra support.

seaside steve

aa is the best shot but she has to be willing to attend the meetings and get involved.