Quitting again after 12 years
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Irving, Texas
Posts: 3
Quitting again after 12 years
I've been sober since this morning, but the story is the same as so many on this forum. I own a company, I seem pretty functional to the outside world but my drinking is costing me my health and professional success. I have a wonderful wife and kids and I know I am failing them.
I quit drinking while in college because I failed out twice. After quitting I finished with a 3.8 in my last 60 hours.
I quit for 10 years - then I started again. It started out managed but over the past decade it has only gotten worse. This past week I put in one good day of work. I'm guessing I had 30+ serving of alcohol this week. I drank in the evenings and always woke to get my kids to school on time but I don't function well hung over. I went to the gym once this week. I spend most of the week being behind in the family and professional duties. I claim to others that I am just "really busy" at work but I'm really just busy managing being hung over. I do my job well but I am not growing my business nearly at the speed I need to. I am just getting by and I had lost the drive and motivation to be successful. I am sad and ashamed about this.
I am posting this as a declaration of my intent to quit drinking. I feel if I post this, I will follow through with it. I think this forum is the place where I can get the support I need to succeed.
I know I will never to be able to manage my drinking and I like my sober self so much more than my drunk self.
I quit drinking while in college because I failed out twice. After quitting I finished with a 3.8 in my last 60 hours.
I quit for 10 years - then I started again. It started out managed but over the past decade it has only gotten worse. This past week I put in one good day of work. I'm guessing I had 30+ serving of alcohol this week. I drank in the evenings and always woke to get my kids to school on time but I don't function well hung over. I went to the gym once this week. I spend most of the week being behind in the family and professional duties. I claim to others that I am just "really busy" at work but I'm really just busy managing being hung over. I do my job well but I am not growing my business nearly at the speed I need to. I am just getting by and I had lost the drive and motivation to be successful. I am sad and ashamed about this.
I am posting this as a declaration of my intent to quit drinking. I feel if I post this, I will follow through with it. I think this forum is the place where I can get the support I need to succeed.
I know I will never to be able to manage my drinking and I like my sober self so much more than my drunk self.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
OConnor ... bless you that you know it's time to stop drinking. When we realize we're powerless over alcohol it's a big step. Keeping the focus on today only -- just don't drink today -- is what's kept me sober a long time. Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
I never say never to anything, especially
drinking. With 21 yrs soberiety there is no
guarantee what tomorrow will bring to me.
No guarantee that if i make a conscience
decision to drink that I will make it back to
AA, end up in the crazy ward or even die
because of it.
All i have is today as long as I don't stray
away from my recovery program which
continues to work for a many one days at
a time added together to get me where I
am today.
As long as I never forget where I came from
then I'll have a better chance of staying sober
one more day.
Quality of recovery over powers Quantity of
recovery every time.
drinking. With 21 yrs soberiety there is no
guarantee what tomorrow will bring to me.
No guarantee that if i make a conscience
decision to drink that I will make it back to
AA, end up in the crazy ward or even die
because of it.
All i have is today as long as I don't stray
away from my recovery program which
continues to work for a many one days at
a time added together to get me where I
am today.
As long as I never forget where I came from
then I'll have a better chance of staying sober
one more day.
Quality of recovery over powers Quantity of
recovery every time.
OConnor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Irving, Texas
Posts: 3
Thanks for the support
Thank you all for the support, that is what I was looking for.
As to why I started again after 10 years - I thought as a parent, husband, professional and that I was no longer a kid I could handle it....WRONG.
As to why I started again after 10 years - I thought as a parent, husband, professional and that I was no longer a kid I could handle it....WRONG.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
I quit cold turkey 7 years ago April 8th. I'm an ACOA, never really thought of myself as an A, but had no off switch. I rarely had a few. It was usually until I couldn't really see the glass/bottle/can I was reaching for.
Great job, 2 kids to support, home to maintain. And of course, the obligatory ABF. I was his mistress. Actually, his second, alcohol was the first.
So, one night, after drinking Yellowtail Chardonnay, and not even the most I had ever drank in one night, I got in my car for the 45 min drive home. Mind you, I am a healthcare professional. Got home in one piece, but I remember so little of the drive home. Next morning I noticed scrapes along the front driver's side of my car. I must have been cruising the concrete barrier at some point.
That was it. In one flash, I saw where that night could have ended. I have no memory of my car making contact with anything, and no memory of how I wound up home in bed. But I do THANK GOD, and I am not particularly religious, that I heard the wake-up call.
I put it down 7 years ago, and you could not pay me to drink again. I used to feel "poor me", I wish I could have a nice glass of wine with dinner, a nice cold beer on a summer afternoon. Unfortunately, it would never be that simple. I have a distorted relationship with alcohol, so we broke up.
Thanks for listening, good luck staying sober. My life now is so much better.
Great job, 2 kids to support, home to maintain. And of course, the obligatory ABF. I was his mistress. Actually, his second, alcohol was the first.
So, one night, after drinking Yellowtail Chardonnay, and not even the most I had ever drank in one night, I got in my car for the 45 min drive home. Mind you, I am a healthcare professional. Got home in one piece, but I remember so little of the drive home. Next morning I noticed scrapes along the front driver's side of my car. I must have been cruising the concrete barrier at some point.
That was it. In one flash, I saw where that night could have ended. I have no memory of my car making contact with anything, and no memory of how I wound up home in bed. But I do THANK GOD, and I am not particularly religious, that I heard the wake-up call.
I put it down 7 years ago, and you could not pay me to drink again. I used to feel "poor me", I wish I could have a nice glass of wine with dinner, a nice cold beer on a summer afternoon. Unfortunately, it would never be that simple. I have a distorted relationship with alcohol, so we broke up.
Thanks for listening, good luck staying sober. My life now is so much better.
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