ressurectJ

since ive quit drinking ive realized that it meant saying goodbye to certain espcially my social life which to be honest consisted of me going out and drinking with friends ..now i literally stay home i go to the gym from time to time other then that im at home .working out or reading or on my laptop working on a script i started developing.i was out at the store tonight and since its saint patty's day i seen this attractive chick all dressed up to go out and it just reminded me of the saturday nights id hit the bar scenes ..Not anymore i guess its a good thing because i want to go to L.A at the end of MAY to get my head shots done so its allowing me to save money i would of other wise spent .i cant believe how crazy of a life i was living ..now that i see things through sober eyes its different not as exciting but different..
anyone else in the same boat ?

aasharon90

I remind myself today that many of those so
call friends of mine that I met in the clubs are
probably still there.

There were other plans for my life made by the
Man upstairs and living my life with alcohol as a
part of it wasn't to be. I found out that I had a
purpose in life after I got sober.

A purpose with helping others struggling with
addiction to alcohol simply by sharing my own
ESH, experiences, strengths and hope of what
it was like before, during and after my own drinking
career.

A purpose of hope that if i can stay sober for 21 yrs
that they can too with incoperating steps and principles
of a recovery program in their own lifes like I have.

I have found so many fun, healthier things to enjoy
in my sober life today. One is riding with my spouse
on our Harley traveling to awesome exciting places.

Life is by no means boring today because I have that
special purpose in life. Helping others.

Olivia333

Don't feel bad! my social life sucks as well.

You basically have to start with a clean slate and change your whole routine. We are all in the same boat trust me.

My saturday nights now consist of renting movies and having a "tea" woo hooo how exciting huh? haha! I try to fill up my days with working out, going for walks by the lake, reading....

I'm hoping that once I start getting out to meetings I might be able to meet some new people and once I'm ready I can start making plans with them. Doing different things together with people who are also in recovery.

Keep your chin up! Think of it as a new start, you have left that life behind and that's a good thing!

You might end up trying new things that you would have never done in the past? who knows right? the world is now your oyster! (sorry if that was cheesy)

I think the first year in recovery is very hard because there are so many changes and it takes time before we can get out and be social again. Don't be so hard on yourself

You are doing great!

Olivia

suic

The ironic thing is for me I drank because I didn't have any friends and I was lonely. I was never a "social" drinker by any stretch of the imagination lol. But now that I'm sober and functional people like me a lot better. And I sure like myself a lot better.

NewBeginning010

Social life at the bar... yes I have said goodbye & good riddance. I found that by putting some effort into learning new hobbies, picking up new interests & picking up old interests & passions helped me not to feel like I was missing anything.

My life has improved in every way, especially in the "social life" department. Get out & start doing the things that you are interested in or were in the past. I picked up hiking & snowshoeing and now climb mountains on the weekends... (instead of lying in bed with a massive hangover from the night before).

I joined a hiking group on meetup Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup a free social networking site.

What are you interested in, what are your curious about, what hobbies & sports did you use to do or would like to do and most importantly... what are you going to do about it?

If we put half of the energy into getting out, active & exploring our passions as we did drinking we would all be living a pretty content social life. This has been my experience anyway, I know its tough after not doing these things sober for a long time. You can do it!

All of the best in your recovery. Take Care ~ NB

Anna

Great post, NewBeginnings. Meetup can be really helpful to encourage you to get out and do something.

And, don't forget about volunteer work. Most cities have a Volunteer Bureau that lists options for people to help out with. It's a great way to meet new, sober people and to give back to your community.

MustStop

My social life was pretty weak even when drinking because I moved away from all of my friends. When they came to visit, which was pretty often it only involved going to the bar to get drunk. When I went to visit them it consisted of the same thing, everything always based around drinking.

Its all about finding new hobbies and things to do now in lieu of totally rebuilding my life after the destruction that drinking for 10 years did to it. Thats been keeping me busy on its own! Hopefully by the time my life is back on track everything else will have sorted out and its already starting to.

(Great post BTW NB!)

miamifella

When I stopped thinking a lot of my friends were really supportive and went out with me without drinking. No bars or drinks with dinner until I told them it was alright.

Maybe some of your friends will do the same? You never know.

Db1105

It takes awhile to build a new sober social circle and life. soon, you'll find yourself to busy. Then, when you get to my age, you're happy to be in bed at 9pm or 10pm on weekends.

InsertNameHere

I used to have a few friends and I would go out to the bars as well. nothing crazy but out none the less. Now where I live I have no one really, which is one thing that drove my drinking to get worse. I am currently trying to contrive ways to call what little family I have because it is starting to get to me now that I have quit. before I would just drink myself silly, now I am actually getting and feeling lonley. Sucks but I will figure it out.

CarolD

In very early sobriety....I did miss my social circle ..they were all
excessive drinkers as was I.
Soooo....
I found an AA group of mostly singles and joined it.

We did all sorts of interesting things outside of meetings
and we did have a blast...

instant

I try to avoid telling myself that anything about sobriety is hard, unfair, boring etc- rather than the beginning of a new life. Bordom is an opening to something new or a return to the past.

Sapling

I had to say goodbye to my social life too...Now that I look at it....Not much of a life...Getting drunk and waking up broke and feeling like death...What was I doing?....Anyway...I'm having fun now with new sober friends....People I've met in AA...Good people like myself that can have fun without getting drunk. What a concept...

ressurectJ

yea that was the thing i was very popular in school in after school ended i was always going out and drinking and partying .this last year had me running into and old friend from school who all he does now is work and goes to the bars or sits at home and drinks himself silly with his family ..He even pissed himself a few times when their .i live in a small town in mass.which i guess is like a alcoholics fantasy or nightmare .depending on which way you look at things i just found out where the local AA meeting center is they have and open meeting Tuesday nights from 7-830 im going to attend .i feel confident im taking this step at the same time im scared .But im going to do it .because the clarity of being sober is something im starting to get used to and i like it ..^ i used to be big time into acting it was actually a goal of mine to be a professional actor in film.soo that's another reason i enjoy the sober life .it just sucks the boredom .also being in a small town is a bit depressing .as well as im back living at home after being out on my own in L.A for a year ..i think that's why i continued to drink .just not dealing with the failure of being out there and falling on my face..Now im working towards planning things out before i execute them .that and another reason was probably a past love who i almost married but .Something happened that caused us to be separated she moved on but i think i never did ..Instead of dealing with it i just drank and partied more not good ..thanks for your feedback(s) its definitely comforting to read im not alone

Sapling

No...No you're not alone....I was scared to going to my first meeting...That stopped after about 5 minutes...And I had to give up 90% of my friends...And they are doing the same thing we were doing when I quit...And I replaced those friends with some incredible people I met in AA....Give it a chance....It might happen for you too.

NYCDoglvr

I was drinker who isolated so I didn't to give up anyone. And, nearly every friend I have is a non alcoholic. I was such a mess that the last thing I cared about was meeting people.

But in time, we get to feel more comfortable in our skin, feel more self-confident. Later I went out a lot, I traveled all over the world and as long as I could get to enough meetings I was fine. But the person I became bears little resemblance to the falling down drunk I was.

ressurectJ

^ at first it was just social drinking i noticed as i split with that girl i was cool with isolated drinking ..i thought of it as my own personal party ..i didn't need anyone or any group of people to have a good time this was the way i felt ..i would never turn down a invitation to go to a bar though .so it was a combo of drinking at home alone and going out and drinking sometimes a i would .start drinking at home and be texting people and theyd tell me to come out and have a few drinks so it would continue from there or sometimes i would be drinking at home and the buzz would die down soo after i had a cigarette i'd go out to the liquor store to get me some more booze just soo i could pass out .if i thought i wasn't going to make it to the liquor store in time my heart would race and id get alot of anxiety ..Now i dont worry so much anymore .sometimes ill get the feeling to drink and i have to admit ive slipped a few times .(thats the reason why im going to AA)..i used to make it till wednesday and start drinking now sometimes i slip it'll usually be a saturday night which is a big improvement from before .another thing im realising is that it was lack of accepting my current situation that caused me to drink..like i had said before i went out to L.A for a year to try and make it as and actor i thought i would be out there to stay for good and wouldn't have to come back to this small nomad's town ..I wounde up doing just that ..im learning how to except myself even when i make mistakes .im learning to except my humanity better .never realized how hard it is ..i also used to rely on outcome dependency (big mistake) ive learned to just focus on the process of doing something .the outcome will take care of itself .anyone the same way ??

Zebra1275

I don't drink anymore and my social life is great. And to top it all off, I actually remember what happened when I wake up.

ressurectJ

congrats.im heading to my first AA meeting tonight first step towards sobriety and a different social life

RunnerMD2be

Can't really relate to the OP all that much, since my drinking was largely confined to my home/car. I did enjoy going out for some pool and drinks, but even then I would often pregame on the way there. I will say, its nice that when I play pool with a friend of mine, my total tab is often less than ONE of her drinks.