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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
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Not saying you do, Sapling. I'm just saying he's apparently got two problems that he can solve if he gets to work. There is actually a skill in AVRT called shifting which is (IMO) best practiced with the real stuff in your hands, where you can actually smell it. He can easily get really good at it in a week. You're correct about having a glass of water with you, though -- people won't offer you drinks that way.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 23
I'm reading in between trips to the kitchen. I've been really hungry today. We joked earlier that my body is missing all those empty calories!
AVRT looks really good the more I look into it. My wife agrees. Thanks again guys.
AVRT looks really good the more I look into it. My wife agrees. Thanks again guys.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Aggie, if you are learning from reading, AVRT is best learned alone, in a room, all by yourself, without distractions. You need to be able to recognize the addictive voice in your own thought process, and you can't do this in between posting and trips to the kitchen. I'm mindful that you haven't gotten the book yet, but you'll see it recommends this very thing somewhere in the introduction. Think of this like studying for your final exams in college, only with far more at stake.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
I got sober with a lot of determination,exercise, and the help of an excellent therapist who specializes in substance abuse. Literally all of my friends and family drink so it was difficult to avoid being around alcohol. Additionally, we here in Louisiana are known to celebrate at the drop of a hat. Sooooo.... I drank a lot of tonic and lime when I was in those situations. It was uncomfortable for a few months, but now, 13 months later, I don't have a problem being around drinkers. I just say to them ( when I'm offered a drink), "I'm not drinking tonight".
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 23
Kinda weird night. Stomach felt hungry although I ate a full dinner. Had a headache it seemed and didn't sleep as hard as I normally do. Hoping as the day progresses I feel "normal". Not sure what that will be like though. Whatever my new "normal" is, I hope I experience it sooner than later.
How much longer does this part last?
How much longer does this part last?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 23
Another deal that's become more apparent. Gotta get my wife in a more positive frame of mind. She's trying like hell to be more positive about our future and just "go", but I've now been made clear in a subtle way, that she still wants us to work on issues. Kinda would prefer me just not drink anymore, her be excited about that, and us roll right along.
I guess Im either gonna deal with this being drawn out over time or have to go see someone with her.
I guess Im either gonna deal with this being drawn out over time or have to go see someone with her.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 35
aggieland - welcome to SR. stay here. it's worked for me for 6 months.
you sound a LOT like me.
realize you're drinking too much.
no legal/work issues, but can see the problem.
wife is concerned and supportive
simply like-to-drink
tried to cut back, but that didn't work
Here's the short list of what worked for me:
1. decided to quit
2. read SR daily
3. see an addiction specialist bi-weekly (very helpful)
4. wellbutrin
It's the best thing I've done and is 100% the right decision. You start seeing "normal" drinkers and realize that your drinking patterns and actions are wildly different than theirs.
I told my wife (a non-alcoholic) I was quitting and we had a heart to heart, but I don't put her in the center of my rehabilitation. I think this is important. I "check in" with her every couple of weeks about my non-drinking. I just let her know I'm okay and I ask how she's doing. It's not possible for her to understand, and it's not her burden - it's mine.
I only told my 3 closest friends, and no one else. It's not their business, and frankly, they don't care. At social situations, I just say "I'm good", and if pressed I say "I'm trying to lose weight". Again... no one cares.
You will find that the cliche is true "when you quit drinking, the only thing that changes is...everything".
You can do this.
you sound a LOT like me.
realize you're drinking too much.
no legal/work issues, but can see the problem.
wife is concerned and supportive
simply like-to-drink
tried to cut back, but that didn't work
Here's the short list of what worked for me:
1. decided to quit
2. read SR daily
3. see an addiction specialist bi-weekly (very helpful)
4. wellbutrin
It's the best thing I've done and is 100% the right decision. You start seeing "normal" drinkers and realize that your drinking patterns and actions are wildly different than theirs.
I told my wife (a non-alcoholic) I was quitting and we had a heart to heart, but I don't put her in the center of my rehabilitation. I think this is important. I "check in" with her every couple of weeks about my non-drinking. I just let her know I'm okay and I ask how she's doing. It's not possible for her to understand, and it's not her burden - it's mine.
I only told my 3 closest friends, and no one else. It's not their business, and frankly, they don't care. At social situations, I just say "I'm good", and if pressed I say "I'm trying to lose weight". Again... no one cares.
You will find that the cliche is true "when you quit drinking, the only thing that changes is...everything".
You can do this.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 23
I dig what you're telling me and can really appreciate someone who sounds like they've been in my exact same spot. Among some of my early concerns, I've discovered that I'm overly focused on the concept of "not having a beer". Kinda like, that was the first thing I thought of this morning. I woke up and said to myself, "you're not gonna have a beer today and thats cool". My lack of consumption, to a point has now consumed me.
Is that a normal mentality?
Is that really a "good thing"?
Regarding my stomach stuff, I just need to eat better. I could stand to gain some weight. I've always kinda wanted to get in shape so this will be a great excuse to try and get fit and burn off some of the expected stress I'll face.
Not overly concerned with telling my friends just yet. I talked to my mom, she's very supportive btw. Obviously my wife. And I informed a great buddy that lives pretty far away. Just felt like telling him, not sure why. Rarely see the guy but he's been a good friend. I'm certain my other buddies will be the same way and support me, but I dont feel the need to address them all right now as kind of a "warning" (Hey next time we see eachother, you can drink and all, but I'm not". That seems silly and I'd rather just deal with it as it comes up. Like you said, its not their business and its not their problem.
Right now, all I really want is for my wife and I to move along. She's very supportive but like I said, she still has a variety of concerns not excluding concerns for me mentally regarding the future in dealing with not having a beer. I want to prove to her my commitment, but cant speed up the damn calendar ya know? So is the method the same ole cliche "one day at a time"? Is that really all I have to go on?
I'm in that beggining quiters funk it seems. Somebody give me a pointer or two.
Is that a normal mentality?
Is that really a "good thing"?
Regarding my stomach stuff, I just need to eat better. I could stand to gain some weight. I've always kinda wanted to get in shape so this will be a great excuse to try and get fit and burn off some of the expected stress I'll face.
Not overly concerned with telling my friends just yet. I talked to my mom, she's very supportive btw. Obviously my wife. And I informed a great buddy that lives pretty far away. Just felt like telling him, not sure why. Rarely see the guy but he's been a good friend. I'm certain my other buddies will be the same way and support me, but I dont feel the need to address them all right now as kind of a "warning" (Hey next time we see eachother, you can drink and all, but I'm not". That seems silly and I'd rather just deal with it as it comes up. Like you said, its not their business and its not their problem.
Right now, all I really want is for my wife and I to move along. She's very supportive but like I said, she still has a variety of concerns not excluding concerns for me mentally regarding the future in dealing with not having a beer. I want to prove to her my commitment, but cant speed up the damn calendar ya know? So is the method the same ole cliche "one day at a time"? Is that really all I have to go on?
I'm in that beggining quiters funk it seems. Somebody give me a pointer or two.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hi aggieland - Welcome to the family.
You've made a very wise decision. I was like you - just drank to drink, no particular reason. It was once fun & relaxing. As I'm sure you've heard, alcoholism is a progressive disease. I was once at the stage you are now, but I chose not to do anything about it - tried to use willpower to control the amounts I drank. In the end I found myself completely dependent on it. My world came crashing down in my 50's because I didn't listen to the little voice that told me my drinking was becoming dangerous and unpredictable. This never has to happen to you. Very glad you found us - we're here to help you through this time.
P.S. The lack of consumption obsession lasted a few months with me, but gradually faded.
You've made a very wise decision. I was like you - just drank to drink, no particular reason. It was once fun & relaxing. As I'm sure you've heard, alcoholism is a progressive disease. I was once at the stage you are now, but I chose not to do anything about it - tried to use willpower to control the amounts I drank. In the end I found myself completely dependent on it. My world came crashing down in my 50's because I didn't listen to the little voice that told me my drinking was becoming dangerous and unpredictable. This never has to happen to you. Very glad you found us - we're here to help you through this time.
P.S. The lack of consumption obsession lasted a few months with me, but gradually faded.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 23
Thanks yall. The more I read, the more I feel committed. Unfortunately, its hard for me to determine (as I mentioned above) if this whole "quitting thing" has now begun to consume me. I can appreciate a messageboard and what it can provide as far as social interaction, but I dont wish to become solely dependant on logging on all day. I guess what I'm saying is, after I get over this intial hump, shouldnt I begin to focus on living life and not worrying about "not having another beer"?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Sorry I keep asking questions, but right now, this is the most efficent way for me to express my recovery efforts. The damn AA meeting schedule in this town sucks, let alone the location clear across the damn county it seems. Looking for alternatives today while I'm still working. Yesterday was considerably unproductive at the office so I got caught up this morning.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by aggieland 
I guess what I'm saying is, after I get over this intial hump, shouldnt I begin to focus on living life and not worrying about "not having another beer"?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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I get that. Its not preventing me per se, its allowing me to utilize logical tools internally/mentally that give me the knowledge to make a conscience choice. Like it says, you "recognize" it and address it appropriately.
Seems like it helps you understand the thought process and react to those thoughts in a more positive way.
I know, I know, I need to buy the book. But hey, you were the one that turned me on to that stuff by giving me all those links to read!! hahahaha, jk, thanks again.
Seems like it helps you understand the thought process and react to those thoughts in a more positive way.
I know, I know, I need to buy the book. But hey, you were the one that turned me on to that stuff by giving me all those links to read!! hahahaha, jk, thanks again.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by aggieland
Thanks yall. The more I read, the more I feel committed. Unfortunately, its hard for me to determine (as I mentioned above) if this whole "quitting thing" has now begun to consume me. I can appreciate a messageboard and what it can provide as far as social interaction, but I dont wish to become solely dependant on logging on all day. I guess what I'm saying is, after I get over this intial hump, shouldnt I begin to focus on living life and not worrying about "not having another beer"?
Cut yourself some slack. You just got started. Lots of things will start to change. As far as "living life" it will happen.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by aggieland
I know, I know, I need to buy the book. But hey, you were the one that turned me on to that stuff by giving me all those links to read!! hahahaha, jk, thanks again.
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