Something very disturbing
DOS: 11/6/10
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Something very disturbing
Hubby and I just got back from a month-long road trip yesterday. I went to get the mail today, and saw that someone had run into our mailbox while we were gone. No big deal... $15 at Lowe's.
Tonight around 6pm, I heard a noise as if someone was trying to open our front door. I called husband and went ahead and opened the door.
There in front of me was a man SO drunk I have no idea how he walked up our 4 front steps. He introduced himself and said he lives two houses down. At this point I thought he might be wanting to come in the house so I called harder for Hubby, who finally found his robe and appeared.
Very Drunk Man proceeds to tell us that he is the one responsible for the mailbox, which was very nice of him in my mind, and although he claimed it was because he was on his mobile phone, the reason was clear enough.
I asked him where he was headed tonight, and he mentioned the grocery store about a mile away. I was within an ace of offering to drive him but I couldn't make it come out of my mouth. He left and it still weighs heavily on me. Now, each and every one of us must decide when and if we are alcoholic, but we all know the signs. This guy has all the signs.
I'm also concerned for all my neighbors and anyone whose path might cross with VDM. Should I have done more? Is there anything I can do now?
Tonight around 6pm, I heard a noise as if someone was trying to open our front door. I called husband and went ahead and opened the door.
There in front of me was a man SO drunk I have no idea how he walked up our 4 front steps. He introduced himself and said he lives two houses down. At this point I thought he might be wanting to come in the house so I called harder for Hubby, who finally found his robe and appeared.
Very Drunk Man proceeds to tell us that he is the one responsible for the mailbox, which was very nice of him in my mind, and although he claimed it was because he was on his mobile phone, the reason was clear enough.
I asked him where he was headed tonight, and he mentioned the grocery store about a mile away. I was within an ace of offering to drive him but I couldn't make it come out of my mouth. He left and it still weighs heavily on me. Now, each and every one of us must decide when and if we are alcoholic, but we all know the signs. This guy has all the signs.
I'm also concerned for all my neighbors and anyone whose path might cross with VDM. Should I have done more? Is there anything I can do now?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
A mentor of mine used to tell me, "Mike, don't be so arrogant that you deny someone their pain."
Obviously, you're not going to be able to protect someone from them self 24/7. I was a DUI-guy myself and nobody was going to stop me......other than the cops. It may seem like a $hitty move but I'd call the cops the next time you know he's driving drunk and let them handle him.
....that and pray for him. Not much else you can do as far as I see it.
Obviously, you're not going to be able to protect someone from them self 24/7. I was a DUI-guy myself and nobody was going to stop me......other than the cops. It may seem like a $hitty move but I'd call the cops the next time you know he's driving drunk and let them handle him.
....that and pray for him. Not much else you can do as far as I see it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Rightly or wrongly, in these circumstances I always think back to when I was a VDM.
I didn't have a problem, I was managing great, and I was fiendishly clever at disguising how drunk I was...yeah right.
But I'd get very defensive. Very.
There's got to be reasons why 12 step calls aren't done alone and safety is one of them, I'd imagine?
As great as it would be to be able to talk someone into recovery, they have to be ready for it, and I don't think you can make that judgement until you get to know this guy Sunrise...and I'm not sure you want to do that?
I do take your point about neighborhood safety tho - and this guys own personal safety too.
I think I'd probably do what DT suggests - I'd ring the cops if I suspected he was driving drunk.
D
I didn't have a problem, I was managing great, and I was fiendishly clever at disguising how drunk I was...yeah right.
But I'd get very defensive. Very.
There's got to be reasons why 12 step calls aren't done alone and safety is one of them, I'd imagine?
As great as it would be to be able to talk someone into recovery, they have to be ready for it, and I don't think you can make that judgement until you get to know this guy Sunrise...and I'm not sure you want to do that?
I do take your point about neighborhood safety tho - and this guys own personal safety too.
I think I'd probably do what DT suggests - I'd ring the cops if I suspected he was driving drunk.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-25-2012 at 12:12 AM. Reason: clever not cleaver...
Baby Girl D
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: x..Manchester, England..x
Posts: 592
Originally Posted by sunrise1 
Hubby and I just got back from a month-long road trip yesterday. I went to get the mail today, and saw that someone had run into our mailbox while we were gone. No big deal... $15 at Lowe's.
Tonight around 6pm, I heard a noise as if someone was trying to open our front door. I called husband and went ahead and opened the door.
There in front of me was a man SO drunk I have no idea how he walked up our 4 front steps. He introduced himself and said he lives two houses down. At this point I thought he might be wanting to come in the house so I called harder for Hubby, who finally found his robe and appeared.
Very Drunk Man proceeds to tell us that he is the one responsible for the mailbox, which was very nice of him in my mind, and although he claimed it was because he was on his mobile phone, the reason was clear enough.
I asked him where he was headed tonight, and he mentioned the grocery store about a mile away. I was within an ace of offering to drive him but I couldn't make it come out of my mouth. He left and it still weighs heavily on me. Now, each and every one of us must decide when and if we are alcoholic, but we all know the signs. This guy has all the signs.
I'm also concerned for all my neighbors and anyone whose path might cross with VDM. Should I have done more? Is there anything I can do now?
Tonight around 6pm, I heard a noise as if someone was trying to open our front door. I called husband and went ahead and opened the door.
There in front of me was a man SO drunk I have no idea how he walked up our 4 front steps. He introduced himself and said he lives two houses down. At this point I thought he might be wanting to come in the house so I called harder for Hubby, who finally found his robe and appeared.
Very Drunk Man proceeds to tell us that he is the one responsible for the mailbox, which was very nice of him in my mind, and although he claimed it was because he was on his mobile phone, the reason was clear enough.
I asked him where he was headed tonight, and he mentioned the grocery store about a mile away. I was within an ace of offering to drive him but I couldn't make it come out of my mouth. He left and it still weighs heavily on me. Now, each and every one of us must decide when and if we are alcoholic, but we all know the signs. This guy has all the signs.
I'm also concerned for all my neighbors and anyone whose path might cross with VDM. Should I have done more? Is there anything I can do now?
That's nice of the guy to you bout mailbox.. And its nice for you to care about how the guy is... I wouldn't of known what to do coz I've had problem with youths drunk at an house I use to live at, if they were dying infront of me I would of jus laughed and hope they died quicker coz they put me through much **** its unreal
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I asked him where he was headed tonight, and he mentioned the grocery store about a mile away. I was within an ace of offering to drive him but I couldn't make it come out of my mouth. He left and it still weighs heavily on me. Now, each and every one of us must decide when and if we are alcoholic, but we all know the signs. This guy has all the signs.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 29
I saw this post yesterday and thought it interesting because it really made me think what I would do.
Today I went to a little family owned convenience store around noon to get dried pig ears for the dog and some dip (yeah... next habit to break before it kills me). There was a beat up sedan parked along the outskirts of the tiny dirt lot and the guy in there was pounding those really big cans. I always stuck to the cheap hard stuff and the 30 pack of the highest ABV since I was so frugal? So anyway, he gets out of his car as I drive up and he has 2 crushed in his hand and the one I saw him finishing.
I take my time getting out of the truck (since I parked near the entrance) so he can get to the entry door first. He throws the 3 empties in the trash and keeps the door open for me as he goes through. He looked like crap. Bright red face, funky eyes, and stumbling. He grabs 3 more out of the fridge case and they were the big natural ice ones.
He said something to the guy behind the counter that the sun felt so nice while he was sitting in his car. I figured he would hang around after I paid and finish his next 3. I thought I would be able to get his plate. But by the time I was out he was gone. I hope he doesn't kill anyone innocent.
Today I went to a little family owned convenience store around noon to get dried pig ears for the dog and some dip (yeah... next habit to break before it kills me). There was a beat up sedan parked along the outskirts of the tiny dirt lot and the guy in there was pounding those really big cans. I always stuck to the cheap hard stuff and the 30 pack of the highest ABV since I was so frugal? So anyway, he gets out of his car as I drive up and he has 2 crushed in his hand and the one I saw him finishing.
I take my time getting out of the truck (since I parked near the entrance) so he can get to the entry door first. He throws the 3 empties in the trash and keeps the door open for me as he goes through. He looked like crap. Bright red face, funky eyes, and stumbling. He grabs 3 more out of the fridge case and they were the big natural ice ones.
He said something to the guy behind the counter that the sun felt so nice while he was sitting in his car. I figured he would hang around after I paid and finish his next 3. I thought I would be able to get his plate. But by the time I was out he was gone. I hope he doesn't kill anyone innocent.
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