Colton

Well...I fell off the wagon last night.


I am a weekend binge drinker (rarely touch the stuff during the workweek), but it was Friday and those old weekend feelings came back and lead me to drink.

It is interesting how I use smoking as a means of drinking....let me explain: I am not sure if I want to be a moderate drinker or abstinent, but I am definitely sure that I never want to smoke tobacco (I read that tobacco kills more alcoholics than alcohol...crazy huh?). I only smoke when I drink. I always figure that if I can get through drinking without smoking, then I will break the addiction to smoking. So I get drunk and usually cave and go to the corner store and buy cigarettes...when I am buying cigarettes, I am thinking that I need to never touch alcohol again, because I can't help myself when it comes to smoking when I am drunk (supposedly, however I have gone an entire year without smoking and continuing to drink). So on my way to the corner store, I am thinking that I will just quit drinking and the smoking thing will take care of itself. Funny thoughts that lead me to both drink and smoke.


I know that when I am 100% committed to quitting something...be it alcohol or cigarettes....I can do it and I will do it. I guess I am just not committed enough. I am committed enough to my job to never get drunk on a work night. I have only once in my life got drunk on a work night and that was over 4 years ago.

Maybe that's the case with all of us who continually break our sobriety. Maybe that is why 12 step programs only have a 5% success rate...the same rate that people who choose to quit on their own get (youtube Penn and Teller Alcoholics Anonymous). Perhaps their is just no substitute for total and absolute commitment.

If I was in a real situation where alcohol just was not an option (such as boot camp), then I would not only drink, but I would never even think about alcohol. We can tell ourselves whatever we want....but do you seriously believe that alcohol is never an option? It's always an option. It's a poor decision, but it is always a short-drive-to-the-cornerstore-away.


Maybe I just need to find my motivation. Long term health scares of course are scary and make me want to quit...but they aren't scary enough.

My dad quit drinking because he had two kids and a wife. If you are a happily married man with two kids and you care about your family, then getting trashed on a regular basis is absolutely not an option and not going to work.

My problem: I am single, I have the whole weekend, I am young, I have plenty of money, no problems with the law...so maybe my motivation is just not strong enough.


I will ask this again (I asked this yesterday)....for the people who have over one year of sobriety, what was it that turned things around?

doggonecarl

I spent years making attempts to quit, only to fail, then I'd try to moderate my drinking, only to fail and end up drinking everyday until one day I would overdo it. Then I would vow to quit, fail...and so on. I always thought I wasn't motivated. I also didn't think I was an alcoholic. Once I realized I couldn't quit because I was addicted, I found myself a lot more motivated to stay sober.

langkah

I got pretty sick of my behavior and poor choices and failing to carry out my endless plans to stay sober one way or another and came to understand I had a problem with alcohol I could not resolve on my own, by either trying a little or trying a lot, or by getting support from the caring, or by paying dearly for good advice.

I did the AA program after occasionally doing the fringe AA thing (6 years of being among the 95% about 2-3 times a year, not sure how you'd tally me), and haven't had to drink since.

The best I could do with my firm and irreversible ironclad decision to not drink was close to 4 months, and that period wasn't the most fun ever for those around me or myself. Even people who had demanded I stop drinking were suggesting I have one to ease off the hair-trigger temper and extreme emotional see-saw. Looking back I stood feeling that way as long as I could stand it before drinking again.

I didn't want to be heavily medicated in order to bear reality. I could have, but figured why trade being controlled by something for being controlled by something else. I just wanted to live normally and free of dealing with drunkedness, cravings or temporary periods of being sober with gritted teeth. Found that, and feel fortunate for getting the help I needed to solve a serious problem that had been going on for some 15 years and screwing up my life more severely with the passage of time.

Hope you find an effective solution too. This has worked for me now for about twice as long as I drank, and I hope it will continue and allow me to go the distance sober.

2granddaughters

When I "committed" to AA, things changed.

I took my AA group membership card and filled it in IN INK, not pencil that is easily erased and changed.
I got off the fence and got active in the Group, got a great sponsor and used/rode him hard going to meetings and asking questions. I got proactive.
I put my fears and doubts on the shelf and gave myself as best I could to the program and my HP.

I wish you the best in your recovery.

Bob

Db1105

Since AA nor anyone else keeps recovery statistic , your 5% recovery rate is 100% wrong. I don't know AA success rate but I know it got me and a lot of other people sober. If you subscibe to the Philosopy of Penn and Teller, you have some real problems.If you don't have a problem with alcohol then why are you wasting your time here? You state you can quit anything except alcohol, what would a normal person. What woke me up was trying to stop drinking on my terms. Lucky for me I woke up.

Terminally Unique

Right now, the OP is 'program shopping', which is certainly fine, to an extent. However, his Addictive Voice is playing him like a violin, in an attempt to procrastinate and put off quitting for as long as possible. Part of him wants to quit, but another part of him wants to keep it up. Behind the scenes, his smirking addiction is seeking out dismal recovery statistics, gathering evidence that nothing works for everyone, and that hopefully, nothing will work for him. He's already decided that AA doesn't work, and that AVRT doesn't work. No doubt he'll also find statistics that SMART/REBT doesn't work either. Ultimately, though, he'll inevitably learn that nothing really 'works' — not if you don't actually want to quit more than you want to keep drinking.

Dee74

I said for years I wasn't motivated enough.

I also said I was destined to die an alcoholic, and, in my more grandiose flights of fancy, that I was 'sucking the meat from the bones of life' living the life I was.

Of course what I was actually doing was killing myself.

When I nearly did die - you got the details in your other thread - you better believe I found motivation pretty quick, Colton.

Some of us don't get that second chance, so I wouldn't count on that.

Looking back on my own experience I really believe you don't need to wait for motivation - not really - you just need to do....

Be prepared to do whatever it takes not to drink, and then be prepared to follow that up with whatever it takes to be happy that way.

In your low moments - and they will come - you can have access to as much support you like here to help you through.

There's many many methods around too for other layers of support - here's some links to just some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
In my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking....

I hope you decide you're ready to try something new

Gertron

You sound a lot like me. I'm on day 6 now so I've gone a weekend now without drinking. But I am young as well and my friends all drink and I am in contact with them regularly. I've had some health problems though due to my drinking, mainly on a binge to the point where I get stomach pain for a few days (doctors diagnosed gastritis) which is definitely not fun and is worrisome. Don't let it get to that point though, it's really not worth it.

Alamine

I follow your sentiment -- you're young, drinking is nearly guaranteed wild/fun, and why not get trashed, we're all just going to die anyway, right?

I'm not so sure I want to pin you as a dyed in the wool alcoholic, because that stage of life(early 20's I assume) is inherently chaotic, with so many life changes hitting you right in the face. Alcohol has a nice way of escaping you from those realities.

But you're here, which indicates you know somewhere upstairs that there might be a problem -- latent or active. Try taking 30 days off, and I bet you'll have a "holy ****" moment where you realize you've been beaten this imperceivably slow decent into drowning out chaos with alcohol.

Make it intellectual. You know you have some sort of issue(it's why you came here and glad you did). Work on it.

RobbyRobot

Not drinking turned things around. Its really that simple unless a guy wants to complicate what works. When the drink is put down things change or the drink will be picked back up one way or another. Some just pickup where they left off. Some suffer and beat themselves down, then pickup. Some suffer, and just keep beating themselves down sans drinking. it hurts, but drinking hurts more, so they just keep hurting and hoping that a way thru will just happen. It rarely works out for the better and alot of damage is done even without the alcohol.

For some when the drinking stops the changing starts. That was me. i did what I had to do to not get drunk ever again one more time. I detoxed and did a rehab. I did (and do) the AA program. I did (and do) work with other sober alcoholics. I did (and do) gestalt therapy. And now after 30 unbroken years, I'm gonna learn and do AVRT. Why? because it is a serious change up for me, and that is way cool. Not like I'm gonna get drunk if i don't do AVRT, but I got sober back when because I keep changing and moving forward. Its what I do.

You asked what makes the difference? What turns things around?

Change your game up after you put down that drink. Its like that to keep that drink outta your hand. Its in the changing that the miracle happens. Its in the changing that you'll find all the motivation you're ever gonna need, and then some. Make changing things up your own private boot camp challenge, and you'll be happy to buy what your selling. Otherwise, its gonna be a raw deal you're cutting for yourself.

RobbyRobot

Yup. The Right Stuff.

least

what turned me around and into a non-drinker was just being so ******* sick of who i'd become from drinking. i woke up every day sick as hell and wishing i were dead. finally i'd had enough and from that day on i haven't touched a drop. and now i wake up feeling good most mornings and no longer wish i were dead.