IrishEyes88

If it was that simple, I would have gone to her and cried tides of tears and told her a thousand times that i love her.

Now that she passed, i kind of do feel like i can tell her that. Maybe I'm not the atheist i though I was. Maybe the world is a little more spiritual than I thought.

regeneration

Hello IrishEyes, sorry to hear about your mother's death, my mother died of breast cancer 3 year's ago.

I do understand why you didn't go and see her, my father died when I was young (he was an alcoholic) and he was nasty to everyone. I honestly don't know if I'd talk to him if he was alive today, he caused such pain.

Weird thing is, I can forgive my mother as though she's not an alcoholic I can see myself in her (she didn't really raise us that well). It's strange how I can't see myself in my father, despite us being alcoholics but I'm going to look at that in the near future.

I think going to the group is a great idea, are you thinking of planning to stop drinking? Only reason I'm asking is that after my mother died my drinking went up a lot. Now that I've stopped I feel very sad about everything. I'm about to start sifting through my feelings about my mother now I'm sober. I'm saving my dad to last as that one scares me as the circumstances were traumatic

Understand it's a hard time, but just a suggestion. I've been so eaten up with anger at my father I want to deal with it now I'm sober, putting it off as scared of the pain. It's been a constant hum to the background of my life, it has to be looked at now as it's a waste of energy.

You may not be like that about your mother, but hope you get to talk it through with people, and can try and stop drinking if that's affecting you.

Thoughts with you.

Spawn

It's a perfect time to quit.

Spawn

your in my prayers

regeneration

IrishEyes, I meant to make it clearer (but my brain is slightly mashed from alcohol withdrawal) that when I did drink more after my mother's death is that it confused me. I couldn't tell if I was mourning/depressed/miserable.

I didn't drink that much at the funeral or in the immediate aftermath, but I was isolated in the city after her death (I'd moved there to care for her). Then my drinking went up and up and this is why I'm here today after stopping. I'm now getting the delayed pain but at least I know what I feel now. I delayed the inevitable.

It can really help to stop, even at times of bereavement. It goes against an alcoholic's natural urges but if you can do it you'll get support on here (and at whatever type of groups/meetings you can get to). Good luck.

sugarbear1

Condolences to you, IrishEyes.

You can always write her a letter, tell her everything, say a prayer, then burn it (safely) and let it all go, when you are ready.

Yes, it is a good day to start to stay stopped!

Hugs & love,