How to prevent drinking at Friday's get-together
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
How to prevent drinking at Friday's get-together
Hi everyone!
I'm new! Longtime reader... 28 years old.
Been a big time drinker for the past 5-6 years. 1,5-2,5 bottles of wine almost every night towards the end of that period.
Now mostly sober since oct 16 2011 (with a few very minor relapses that didn't lead to any major issues - though relapses nonetheless!)
I'm now rebuilding my life. I moved away from a big city and an industry that is infamous for alcohol and drugs (though I never did any drugs apart from smoking pot a couple of times.)
I just started my own business, in a much calmer and controlled environment, and am now working on building up a new social network (professional and personal). I'm in the artistic field and so a lot of my clients expect me to show up at social gatherings they throw.
On Friday night, I am invited to quite an important one with many people I need to meet for my business' sake. I know for a fact that a lot of vodka and red wine will be served. Those are my two favorites by the way... For years I have associated those drinks with fun social events.
The two main reasons, I think, why I found comfort in alcohol were:
-My shyness and extreme fear of social situations. (Nowadays I overcompensate so well that people are baffled when I say I am a shy person.)
-General anxiety issues about EVERYTHING in life.
At the moment I KNOW I am going to cave in tomorrow night if I don't find a strategy now.
Any tips on how to build a strategy to combat this problem at this event are greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
I'm new! Longtime reader... 28 years old.
Been a big time drinker for the past 5-6 years. 1,5-2,5 bottles of wine almost every night towards the end of that period.
Now mostly sober since oct 16 2011 (with a few very minor relapses that didn't lead to any major issues - though relapses nonetheless!)
I'm now rebuilding my life. I moved away from a big city and an industry that is infamous for alcohol and drugs (though I never did any drugs apart from smoking pot a couple of times.)
I just started my own business, in a much calmer and controlled environment, and am now working on building up a new social network (professional and personal). I'm in the artistic field and so a lot of my clients expect me to show up at social gatherings they throw.
On Friday night, I am invited to quite an important one with many people I need to meet for my business' sake. I know for a fact that a lot of vodka and red wine will be served. Those are my two favorites by the way... For years I have associated those drinks with fun social events.
The two main reasons, I think, why I found comfort in alcohol were:
-My shyness and extreme fear of social situations. (Nowadays I overcompensate so well that people are baffled when I say I am a shy person.)
-General anxiety issues about EVERYTHING in life.
At the moment I KNOW I am going to cave in tomorrow night if I don't find a strategy now.
Any tips on how to build a strategy to combat this problem at this event are greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Yeah...Don't drink....Not real sure what mostly sober since Oct 16th means...But if you are trying to quit...Don't drink. I find that having a bottle of water in my hand (Or glass of club soda with lime) at all times seems to keep people from asking if I would like something to drink. If you want to quit...You know what your options are.
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Originally Posted by Sapling 
Yeah...Don't drink....Not real sure what mostly sober since Oct 11th means...But if you are trying to quit...Don't drink. I find that having a bottle of water in my hand (Or glass of club soda with lime) at all times seems to keep people from asking if I would like something to drink. If you want to quit...You know what your options are.
Mostly sober since oct 16 2011 means that I caved in and had some wine on two occasions since that date.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by DesperadoBlond
Hi!
Mostly sober since oct 16 2011 means that I caved in and had some wine on two occasions since that date.
Mostly sober since oct 16 2011 means that I caved in and had some wine on two occasions since that date.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
DesperadoBlond, first of all congratulations on getting out of the fog of alcohol and being 'mostly sober' 
since October. That rhymes.
You need a plan going into this event, and think of it as like a military campaign strategy (because it is going to be you, winning).
Components of your plan:
1. You will take extra dressing-up time to look fabulous.
2. You will immediately grab a club soda and keep one in your hand throughout the time you stay.
3. You will make it all about the other people there, and greeting them and chatting them up, rather than about yourself (even though you do look so fabulous).
4. You will have an exit strategy in place for 10 minutes before you start feeling like you might pick up an alcoholic drink. Trust me, you will know when that little worm starts to twist and turn. Get the hell out of there before you get near caving.
5. You will have an activity planned for after the party, and that activity will be a reward - hot bath, slice of cake, new movie you want to watch, whatever.
6. You will plan your route to and from this thing (especially from) to avoid any temptation spots like liquor stores or pubs.
7. You will have something planned with a friend for early the next morning - this is your anchor in sobriety - coffee at 7 and a run, shopping before the crowds, something nice and social.
There! At least that is what I have done and it has worked. Best wishes to you and enjoy the party!
since October. That rhymes.You need a plan going into this event, and think of it as like a military campaign strategy (because it is going to be you, winning).
Components of your plan:
1. You will take extra dressing-up time to look fabulous.
2. You will immediately grab a club soda and keep one in your hand throughout the time you stay.
3. You will make it all about the other people there, and greeting them and chatting them up, rather than about yourself (even though you do look so fabulous).
4. You will have an exit strategy in place for 10 minutes before you start feeling like you might pick up an alcoholic drink. Trust me, you will know when that little worm starts to twist and turn. Get the hell out of there before you get near caving.
5. You will have an activity planned for after the party, and that activity will be a reward - hot bath, slice of cake, new movie you want to watch, whatever.
6. You will plan your route to and from this thing (especially from) to avoid any temptation spots like liquor stores or pubs.
7. You will have something planned with a friend for early the next morning - this is your anchor in sobriety - coffee at 7 and a run, shopping before the crowds, something nice and social.
There! At least that is what I have done and it has worked. Best wishes to you and enjoy the party!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi and welcome!
Dawnrunner gave some great suggestions. I especially like the one about making this about others and focusing on them instead of yourself. Most people LOVE to talk about themselves and since these people are crucial to your business then by all means let them talk while you listen intently. That alone should score some good points with them.
Now, I do have a couple more suggestions to add that I hope help.
1. Is there someone who is a non-drinker who could accompany you to this function? There is strength in numbers.
2. If not, is there someone you can call before the event, during the event and after the event to be accountable to as far as staying sober for the evening? My sponsor used to do this with me.
3. If you don't do club soda then try a cola or ginger ale as both look like a drink which would keep people from trying to get you to drink up.. Hold onto this drink and don't set it down as you may inadvertently pick up a wrong drink and get a dose of alcohol you don't need.
4. Stand far away from the bar so you aren't having to smell it and be tempted by it.
5. Plan how you might decline a drink if someone is insistent. Something like you are making a lifestyle change and no longer wish to drink or you are on medication (like antibiotics) and you can't drink.
6. Create your exit plan. Bring your own vehicle so you can leave whenever you need to. My DH and I have an understanding. If one of us starts feeling like we are on dangerous ground we leave, no questions asked. If you can bring someone then you might have a different way to exit gracefully.
7. Take breaks away from the booze. Go outside for some fresh air (and a change in perspective).
Good luck. Come back and let us know how it went, ok?
Take care
Dawnrunner gave some great suggestions. I especially like the one about making this about others and focusing on them instead of yourself. Most people LOVE to talk about themselves and since these people are crucial to your business then by all means let them talk while you listen intently. That alone should score some good points with them.
Now, I do have a couple more suggestions to add that I hope help.
1. Is there someone who is a non-drinker who could accompany you to this function? There is strength in numbers.
2. If not, is there someone you can call before the event, during the event and after the event to be accountable to as far as staying sober for the evening? My sponsor used to do this with me.
3. If you don't do club soda then try a cola or ginger ale as both look like a drink which would keep people from trying to get you to drink up.. Hold onto this drink and don't set it down as you may inadvertently pick up a wrong drink and get a dose of alcohol you don't need.
4. Stand far away from the bar so you aren't having to smell it and be tempted by it.
5. Plan how you might decline a drink if someone is insistent. Something like you are making a lifestyle change and no longer wish to drink or you are on medication (like antibiotics) and you can't drink.
6. Create your exit plan. Bring your own vehicle so you can leave whenever you need to. My DH and I have an understanding. If one of us starts feeling like we are on dangerous ground we leave, no questions asked. If you can bring someone then you might have a different way to exit gracefully.
7. Take breaks away from the booze. Go outside for some fresh air (and a change in perspective).
Good luck. Come back and let us know how it went, ok?
Take care
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Desperado, you can't have your cake and eat it too. We can't have "everything".
You are going to have to make some choices.
There are sober people in most every profession, seek out the ones in yours.
Good luck
You are going to have to make some choices.
There are sober people in most every profession, seek out the ones in yours.
Good luck
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