Resisting is Difficult
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Resisting is Difficult
So today is day 10 sober for me, and last night I had a nervous breakdown. When I am at home shelled up in my apartment I'm perfectly fine, but last night we went out to dinner with some friends to TGI Fridays and I was craving a long island iced tea so so bad.
I did not order one (my boyfriend wouldn't have allowed me to anyway) but I started shaking all over and got very cold.
I hope in the future things get easier to say no to because that was just scary.
I did not order one (my boyfriend wouldn't have allowed me to anyway) but I started shaking all over and got very cold.
I hope in the future things get easier to say no to because that was just scary.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
I had a similar experience on new years eve. I went to a party where alcohol was readily available and I was in a situation that while drinking I would have normally got polluted. It was very difficult. I've decided to avoid these tempting places for now. Congrats on 10 days and keep up the good work, I'm not experienced (15 days) but from what I've heard it does get better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
Each day sober and without a drink for
an alcoholic is an accomplishment. So
id like to commend you on ur 10 days.
Early sobriety for me was in rehab where
I spent those first 28 days sober and in a
controlled enviroment where alcohol wasnt
a temptation for me. Where alcohol was
totally out of reach. Even if I wanted a drink
there was no way to get it.
This time in rehab allowed my body to heal
from all the abuse I put it thru with poison.
I was able to exercise to sweat out all those
toxins.
During my stay there I was taught some
valuable information about the disease of
alcoholism and its affects on me and those
around me. I was also handed some tools
and knowledge of steps and principles to
help me and guide me thru life a day at a
time without drinking.
After my 28 days in rehab I was also set up
with a 6 week aftercare outpatiant program
to help me stay on track with my recovery.
For me I went to many many meetings and
stayed close with those traveling the same
road as recovery as I. I avoided people, places
and things dealing with alcohol so the temptation
wouldnt be there.
For the last 21 yrs, i have continued on my
recovery journey passing on my own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after alcohol.
Because alcohol is so cunning, baffling and
powerful, i remain on top of my program
on a daily bases because even tho I have
been sober for 21 yrs now, it seems like
yesterday when I got sober.
I never want to forget where I came from
but never want to relive that merry-go-round
of craziness and insanity alcohol brought to
my life.
an alcoholic is an accomplishment. So
id like to commend you on ur 10 days.
Early sobriety for me was in rehab where
I spent those first 28 days sober and in a
controlled enviroment where alcohol wasnt
a temptation for me. Where alcohol was
totally out of reach. Even if I wanted a drink
there was no way to get it.
This time in rehab allowed my body to heal
from all the abuse I put it thru with poison.
I was able to exercise to sweat out all those
toxins.
During my stay there I was taught some
valuable information about the disease of
alcoholism and its affects on me and those
around me. I was also handed some tools
and knowledge of steps and principles to
help me and guide me thru life a day at a
time without drinking.
After my 28 days in rehab I was also set up
with a 6 week aftercare outpatiant program
to help me stay on track with my recovery.
For me I went to many many meetings and
stayed close with those traveling the same
road as recovery as I. I avoided people, places
and things dealing with alcohol so the temptation
wouldnt be there.
For the last 21 yrs, i have continued on my
recovery journey passing on my own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after alcohol.
Because alcohol is so cunning, baffling and
powerful, i remain on top of my program
on a daily bases because even tho I have
been sober for 21 yrs now, it seems like
yesterday when I got sober.
I never want to forget where I came from
but never want to relive that merry-go-round
of craziness and insanity alcohol brought to
my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
FF, it's really hard at first but it does get better. I only have a little over 4 months and it's been getting better already, so hang in there. My first month or so all I felt was anger and sadness. I realized I was saying goodbye forever and it pissed me off!
A couple weeks ago I had a similar experience to yours, I went somewhere I probably shouldn't have gone just yet and I totally freaked out. I called my sponsor (do you have someone you can talk to in the moment? it really helps) she said not to worry, sit down and feel what I'm feeling, which was angry, sad, like it's all too hard and it's totally unfair (yelling and screaming) and she said that was all normal and all good. I was grieving (again), coming to a deeper level of accepting that alcohol just is not a part of my life anymore. And it's totally ok to be sad and angry about it.
I hope that helps you like it helped me, I wish I could say it in the same brilliant way she did.
A couple weeks ago I had a similar experience to yours, I went somewhere I probably shouldn't have gone just yet and I totally freaked out. I called my sponsor (do you have someone you can talk to in the moment? it really helps) she said not to worry, sit down and feel what I'm feeling, which was angry, sad, like it's all too hard and it's totally unfair (yelling and screaming) and she said that was all normal and all good. I was grieving (again), coming to a deeper level of accepting that alcohol just is not a part of my life anymore. And it's totally ok to be sad and angry about it.
I hope that helps you like it helped me, I wish I could say it in the same brilliant way she did.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hey FlyerFan..... well, one thing I already know is you're extremely sick.... I mean, the FLYERS? Thats almost as sick as liking the Blackhawks!! 
haha just kidding ........the Blackhaws are much cooler than the Flyers. LOLOLOL
Really though..... it may get better, then again it may not. Time will tell. I know a LOT of ppl who never got free of the mental obsession to drink and continue to try to white-knuckle it to sobriety......year after year after year.
I'm not "being negative" to hurt your feelings. Just be careful, listen to yourself, and try to be honest with yourself (that was VERY hard for me to do). You may have crossed the line into alcoholism... I can't say. If you have, then the obsession to drink again may not go away without some definite action on your part. The passing of time doesn't "treat" alcoholism in the slightest - even though it seems like it should.
haha just kidding ........the Blackhaws are much cooler than the Flyers. LOLOLOLReally though..... it may get better, then again it may not. Time will tell. I know a LOT of ppl who never got free of the mental obsession to drink and continue to try to white-knuckle it to sobriety......year after year after year.
I'm not "being negative" to hurt your feelings. Just be careful, listen to yourself, and try to be honest with yourself (that was VERY hard for me to do). You may have crossed the line into alcoholism... I can't say. If you have, then the obsession to drink again may not go away without some definite action on your part. The passing of time doesn't "treat" alcoholism in the slightest - even though it seems like it should.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I did it, too when I first quit. Those feelings kept being less intense, until they faded away all together. I remember feeling very panicky that first month though. You're not alone in this! Glad you posted - it does get better, promise.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
AA has taught me to embrace my fears and tears with love and joy. I no longer feel compelled to defend myself or attack others who see things differently.
I think I must be a slogan freak<G>. I've got one for nearly everything. Seldom are they mine....I 'borrow them from others." Here's one I borrowed from "A Course in Miracles": WHAT I RESIST....PERSISTS.
BLESSINGS
ZB
I think I must be a slogan freak<G>. I've got one for nearly everything. Seldom are they mine....I 'borrow them from others." Here's one I borrowed from "A Course in Miracles": WHAT I RESIST....PERSISTS.
BLESSINGS
ZB
Sober Date: 01-01-2012
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 31
My advice: whenever you get a craving or urge to drink, realize it's the addiction trying to bring you back into the alcohol trap. Realizing what the feeling is will greatly help you maintain sobriety.
Also, remember that the craving was the sole reason you continued drinking. In fact, you drank alcohol to tame the craving, and in essence, to feel like a non-alcoholic.
Also, remember that the craving was the sole reason you continued drinking. In fact, you drank alcohol to tame the craving, and in essence, to feel like a non-alcoholic.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Yeah, you are all right. I do have someone I talk to, I don't go to AA but I have a friend at work who has been where I am and I text him when I'm feeling antsy or anxious and we will just chit chat about anything to keep my mind off booze.
It was very hard, but I got through it. For the most part I have been staying home whenever I can because I have removed all the alcohol from my house and won't allow any inside at all. But I can't avoid family dinners and birthday parties forever so I'm going to have to be a big girl (yes I am a woman for those who didn't know, lol) and try to fight this head on.
It was very hard, but I got through it. For the most part I have been staying home whenever I can because I have removed all the alcohol from my house and won't allow any inside at all. But I can't avoid family dinners and birthday parties forever so I'm going to have to be a big girl (yes I am a woman for those who didn't know, lol) and try to fight this head on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
You can't fight it, you have to surrender. It will kick the crap out of you.
Get involved in AA. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. If your life isn't a whole lot better you can leave and your misery will be refunded when you leave the door.
Good luck.
Get involved in AA. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. If your life isn't a whole lot better you can leave and your misery will be refunded when you leave the door.
Good luck.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters 
You can't fight it, you have to surrender. It will kick the crap out of you.
Get involved in AA. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. If your life isn't a whole lot better you can leave and your misery will be refunded when you leave the door.
Good luck.
Get involved in AA. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. If your life isn't a whole lot better you can leave and your misery will be refunded when you leave the door.
Good luck.
As long as I keep myself busy I'll be alright. Im currently working 50 hours a week and taking online college courses after that when I get home so I have pretty much only 2 to 3 hours to myself each day and I've started filling that with books and movies to occupy my mind. So far it's been working great.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Oh, do I ever feel your pain! I'm sober 10 days today (this is my third time getting sober), and temptation is here for me EVERY day because my husband is an active alcoholic and there is always alcohol in my house. He supports my sobriety and is actually doing all he can to help me, but his drinking definitely makes things harder. It doesn't really bother me to watch him drink, which is very surprising to me, but when he leaves the room and leaves his bottle of Crown sitting on the table, I literally have a staring contest with it. It's like that bottle is saying, "Come on over, honey, and let's have some fun!" Ugh! But it is not going to get me this time. I'm done. We are going to have our bad moments, but they will pass. Alcohol is everywhere ... television, convenience stores, liquor stores, restaurants, sporting events, concerts ... it's not leaving. Over time, the cravings will get less and less. Just keep reminding yourself of that. It's great that you're keeping busy, too. That will help. Journaling helps me as well; being able to get all my feelings out on paper is a relief because I have to get them out somewhere. When the temptation to drink creeps in, I go back and read my journal and the temptation goes away.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by desertsong
Oh, do I ever feel your pain! I'm sober 10 days today (this is my third time getting sober), and temptation is here for me EVERY day because my husband is an active alcoholic and there is always alcohol in my house. He supports my sobriety and is actually doing all he can to help me, but his drinking definitely makes things harder. It doesn't really bother me to watch him drink, which is very surprising to me, but when he leaves the room and leaves his bottle of Crown sitting on the table, I literally have a staring contest with it. It's like that bottle is saying, "Come on over, honey, and let's have some fun!" Ugh! But it is not going to get me this time. I'm done. We are going to have our bad moments, but they will pass. Alcohol is everywhere ... television, convenience stores, liquor stores, restaurants, sporting events, concerts ... it's not leaving. Over time, the cravings will get less and less. Just keep reminding yourself of that. It's great that you're keeping busy, too. That will help. Journaling helps me as well; being able to get all my feelings out on paper is a relief because I have to get them out somewhere. When the temptation to drink creeps in, I go back and read my journal and the temptation goes away.
I commend you for being able to do this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
"Come on over, honey..." I love it! I have "conversations" with various bottles in my life as well. I try to treat it like silly fun. That said, I don't keep anything in easy reach.
Good job FF. You certainly deserve your fresh non hungover morning. Keep up the good work!
Good job FF. You certainly deserve your fresh non hungover morning. Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 145
Oh, the coldness and the shakes are awful. Those are two of my strongest symptoms of withdrawal (when I'm not having seizures). There have been times when the shakes were so bad, I could barely hand the liquor store cashier my money for a bottle.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Congrats on your sober time. Be gentle with yourself in the early days and don't put yourself in bad situations if you can avoid them.
Ummm, I did a little trick when first sober that might help. Anytime I thought of alcohol or smelled it or saw it on tv...I conjured in great detail how it felt to get sick from alcohol. I did this religiously and it trained my brain to not want to think about alcohol. I'm comfortable around alcohol today because it has no appeal for me anymore
Ummm, I did a little trick when first sober that might help. Anytime I thought of alcohol or smelled it or saw it on tv...I conjured in great detail how it felt to get sick from alcohol. I did this religiously and it trained my brain to not want to think about alcohol. I'm comfortable around alcohol today because it has no appeal for me anymore
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
See I can't do that. My boyfriend offered to quit right along with me and we removed all of the alcohol from the house. I couldn't watch him drink and be okay with that because then I would want to drink, or I could smell/taste the alcohol and crave more.
I commend you for being able to do this!
I commend you for being able to do this!
The hardest thing for me would be going out too. I could not go into a pub and not have a drink-at this stage anyway. Maybe its just changing 20 years of thinking and association.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by LaFemme
Congrats on your sober time. Be gentle with yourself in the early days and don't put yourself in bad situations if you can avoid them.
Ummm, I did a little trick when first sober that might help. Anytime I thought of alcohol or smelled it or saw it on tv...I conjured in great detail how it felt to get sick from alcohol. I did this religiously and it trained my brain to not want to think about alcohol. I'm comfortable around alcohol today because it has no appeal for me anymore
Ummm, I did a little trick when first sober that might help. Anytime I thought of alcohol or smelled it or saw it on tv...I conjured in great detail how it felt to get sick from alcohol. I did this religiously and it trained my brain to not want to think about alcohol. I'm comfortable around alcohol today because it has no appeal for me anymore
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
21 DAYS!!!! And guess what? I even went to a bar and all i drank was soda! I didnt want to go to a bar of course but we were invited out by friends and this place happens to have awesome food, so of course I was dreading it the whole time but I made it through without drinking!
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