surething

Hello everyone. I decided to quit drinking (again) on New Year's Day this year after being disgusted with my heavy drinking episodes during the holiday season. Each night, I would drink 10-12 alcoholic beverages on average. On Christmas night, I drank over 20 beers/shots and vomited all night and into the morning. On New Year's Eve, I had approximately 12 beers and felt terrible the next day. This level of drinking is typical though, even when it isn't the holiday season. Like I've heard others say, addiction doesn't care what day of the year it is.

When I was drinking, my hands would shake throughout the daytime until I had a drink... or ten. This summer, I was drinking approximately 10-12 servings of alcohol per night. When I returned to school, I cut my drinking down to every-other-day during the week, although I would still drink 10-12 alcoholic drinks on my "reward" nights.

I have been drinking alcohol heavily on regular basis for the past 6 years and I feel discouraged when I relapse after putting all my heart and soul into quitting alcohol. Ironically, the only physical withdrawal symptoms I have experienced when quitting alcohol are shaky hands and sweaty palms.

This time, I really, really, really want to quit drinking for good. My life has definitely started to spiral out of control for the past 8 months, although I somehow manage to obtain a high GPA in school; I guess I'm a semi-functional alcoholic. With that said, I have started to notice my consumption of alcohol has increased dramatically during the past year and I am having trouble with both my short-term and long-term memory. Additionally, the region where my liver is located has been sore and itchy for the past two years, though I tend to ignore it and pretend nothing is happening.

Anyway, thanks for reading my introduction and story. If you have any tips at combating psychological cravings for alcohol, please let me know; physical cravings never bothered me. Any other advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Sincerely,

surething

Terminally Unique

What have you tried already?

surething

Cold turkey (on my own), The Allan Carr Method, and A.A. Ironically, I seem to stay abstinent the longest using the cold turkey method.

I have read there are medications available that help relieve alcohol cravings (Naltrexone, Acamprosate). What do you think about these medications? I know most A.A.er's oppose medication to quit drinking, but I feel there is no other choice at this point.

Another thing: I have a family history of alcoholism. My grandmother (father's side), aunt (mother's side), and great-grandparents (both sides) were notorious for their drinking habits. A few passed away from liver cancer and cirrhosis. None of them are alive today.

Dee74

Welcome to SR surething
You'll find a lot of support & ideas here.

I recommend first off you see a Dr though - 6 years is a long time to drink heavily & regularly, and detox can be problematic for some of us - even when it's never been a problem before

you can ask them about what meds might be suitable for you too

D

Terminally Unique

I technically quit "on my own," although I did make use of a method called AVRT from Rational Recovery, which can be learned. Perhaps it may suit you, or perhaps not.

As for AA, there are variations in how people approach AA, but I'm sure that someone will be along soon enough to explain that to you.

I am personally not a fan of these types of medications long-term, but either way, you'd have to speak with someone qualified to prescribe them.

surething

I spoke to my doctor approximately one year ago when I quit drinking and she told me medication wouldn't be necessary since I was abstinent for several weeks on my own. However, I will tell her I have been in a quit-relapse cycle for several years. Perhaps she will prescribe me a medication that will ease -- though not eliminate -- cravings for alcohol. Does anyone have any experience with medications for alcohol addiction? I would surely like to hear all experiences, whether they are positive, negative, or neutral.

DayTrader

Sure, what step did you stall out on while you were in AA?

TheJungianThing

I drank to satisfy a need. I didn't drink booze because I needed to be hydrated. I loved everything about alcohol - except the negative consequences - and I almost kind of loved them too. They allowed me to wallow in self pity all the more.

The smell. I loved that sweet smell of beer, Guiness was my favorite as were the darker brews, but I'd drink anything that had alcohol in it. Whiskey, Vodka, Bourbon, all the "hard stuff" - I didn't much like the smell or the taste as much as the feel. That burning sensation across the lips, tongue, the warmth it produced as it went down to my belly and settled in. I felt radiant. Then as the ethyl climbed up my central nervous system I began to get that buzz feeling.

After a few I was in the zone man. My jokes were funnier, timing impeccable, and life just seemed to roll off my back as if I were a wet duck. The problems of the day would bead up and roll off onto the floor, no longer bound by insecurities and fears. I was happy, joyous and free. I loved that feeling.

Physiologically something happened though, I don't know if it was the sugar or what in the booze. But like a salty chip or pretzel or a small piece of sweet candy. I'd keep reaching for the next one. Drink after drink, suddenly I was gone from that sweet world of NOW and contentment. Suddenly my jokes were getting more and more bitter sounding, biting even, targetting those closest around me first. Then there's the trip to the bar - paranoia crept in - insecurity siezed hold of me stronger than before "What the **** are you looking at ..." Then the memories, then the tears, anger, rage, then the next morning.

All those problems that had rolled off my back were piled high and making the pile even higher were more problems. Hurt feelings and broken hearts of the friends and family who were either the targets of my biting "wit" while drunk, or ashamed for me and embarassed by me as I made a public spectacle of myself and them. Wrecked hearts, wrecked property, and in some cases CRUSHED spirits, left in my wake.

Now I wanted to drink to make it all go away for that short sweet time. Family and friends would comment -

"Dude, I think you're an alcoholic"

"No I'm not".

"Denial is a sign".

Well what kind of ****** up circular logic is that ? You say I am, I say I'm not, and that means I am ? **** you !!!!!!

The cycle over and over again. Well intentioned and earnest committments to moderate intake and over and over again the same results.

Finally, admitting I'm alcoholic and wanting to stop entirely. I can't.

I haven't had a drink in 9 years. How can that be explained ? I found people with a solution, I did what they did and the solution worked for me.

Carl Jung, it's alleged, referred to it as a psychic change of some sort. A deep rooted, revolutionary experience within the deepest recesses of the alcoholic's self. He's referenced in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and apparently there's a letter out there he wrote to Bill Wilson about his interaction with Rowland Hazard. Some call it "dipsomania", this "thing" I have. Dis-ease. I'm not at ease with anything at all and so I need a solution. For me, for the longest time, that solution was alcohol.

I needed to find something to replace it. That something for me, was the Jungian Thing. Spiritus contra spiritum. I needed alcohol to have a sense of wholeness, a sense of completeness, a sense of being here and now present for what was happening. A sense of hope and ease, comfort and joy in my life. It was something that was MINE, personal, and REAL. It had depth and weight to me. Drinking was a spiritual experience.

Now I find my spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings through the application of the twelve steps outlined in the literature of alcoholics anonymous. I find union with my fellows in the fellowship named after the book - alcoholics anonymous. I've found a peace with life, I always wished I had - and found with alcohol at one point - I dare say I've awakened to and experienced some concept of God, LIFE and being alive, vibrant and filled with vitality.

Embarking on a spiritual life has done all this for me and more - without the adverse consequences of drinking. It has mended the fences between myself and the people whose hearts I've broken at one point. It has given me a new life with the wife that used to **** in a towel for fear of experiencing one of my verbal abuse tirades after she'd throw out my whiskey and walking by me in front of the t.v. to ge to the bathroom It has brought children into our life. It has given me tools - inventory, prayers and meditative practices, courage to admit when I'm wrong or when I don't know something, it has allowed me to overcome fears and insecurities in my life and to be at ease - with what is.

At ease - with what is. That's what the first few drinks did for me. Now I don't need those drinks.


Anyway, as Mark H would say AA is the donkey I ride. I wish you the same no matter the donkey you mount.

Good Luck.

surething

Thanks for the positive feedback and questions everyone.

I was incompatible with AA. Although there were helpful steps (1, 4, & 8), I'm not a spiritual or religious person and never genuinely took any of the other steps seriously. When members told me to worship a rock or a doorknob in lieu of a deity, I thought it was pretty kooky and irrational (no offense to anyone). However, I do realize alcohol has a grip over me and that I can't defeat it on my own, but having a deity or doorknob help me get sober just isn't compatible with my philosophical and spiritual views.

Anyway, it's day number 7 and I'm feeling physically healthy and mentally alert; it's easy to forget how it feels to be healthy when you're drinking yourself to death! I will look into SMART and Rational Recovery to see if there are any meetings in my area. I know they are often utilized as a secular alternative to AA.

BackToSquareOne

Surething, there are many people out there that just aren't "Go To Meeting" types, with information so easy to access you could very easily take what works for you and leave the rest from many different approaches. Create your own hybrid method of sorts, that seems to be what many have done.

Kingman063

Surething,
I don't know if you're a physically active person but a daily regimented exercise program will help you significantly with the psychological part. I too have been a heavy drinker for a while and for me thats what helps me get through the tough days...Also,I know your in school so use your study time as a time to mentally/psychologically put some distance between you and the sauce...good luck to you.

Terminally Unique

SMART Recovery has meetings, but Rational Recovery no longer uses meetings.

surething

I just found several SMART meetings in my area. I might give it a try -- having a group of people who share similar experiences will definitely help me maintain my sobriety. Thanks for the input, Terminally Unique.

onlythetruth

Yep, check out those SMART meetings...and we'd love to see you in the Secular Connections forum too. There are some great threads in that forum about AVRT.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3233118

SMART has online meetings and forums too, you can check out their website at:

SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse

endlesspatience

Just to chip in the basics, my friend... I really do find my desire to drink is controlled if I'm eating a sleeping OK. I found that when I was drinking, I would often pick a drink instead of something to eat. The drink has just enough calories to keep me going and then I'd take more of that instead of having food. If I have a decent breakfast and lunch, I'm usually in much better shape to deal with the mental cravings associated with the drink.

ForeverDecember

Let's change:

to

I look forward to seeing you around Congrats on your 7 days.

surething

I definitely make sure I eat plenty of nutritious food and ensure I get 7-8 hours of sleep per night. I'm also going to start an exercise regimen when my chest cold goes away; I used to work out on a daily basis before I became an alcoholic. When I started drinking heavily, I threw the idea of exercise out the window.

ForeverDecember

I quit under guidance from my dr and counsellor. I went on meds for withdrawal and then another medication to suppress alcohol cravings. I have had a positive experience with both, however I am still on the anti-cravings meds at the moment (3 days to go!!! )

They aren't a long term solution, and they aren't a fool proof solution either. I'm using Naltraxone, and basically they seem to stop the sneaky cravings. If I want to sit here and talk myself into wanting a drink then I can. It won't stop me from going to get a drink, or from thinking fondly of alcohol. To me they seem to act like damage control... take care of the unexpected, out-of-the-blue cravings, so that I can concentrate on working sobriety.

It's similar to quitting smoking using Champix (although the champix is much better at it).