avgcollegekid

I want to drink less. I'm at a point where I realize drinking is a problem for me. I drink almost every night, and go crazy if I have to go more than a few days without it. My body craves alcohol even when I'm not in the mood to get drunk or I'm consciously in a situation where I know me being wasted will cause a problem and it's the craziest feeling ever. I need to cut back, but since I'm young (a few years shy of even being 21) I don't want to never drink again. I want to be able to enjoy having a few drinks socially with friends. Has anyone been able to go from drinking way too much to having a healthy relationship with alcohol? Can you go from drinking daily to having a few beers and watching the game with friends? If anyone has either tried this and failed or done it successfully I'd like to hear from them. A

babycat

A small minority can do this. The vast, ever so vast majority, cannot. You are still really young, so I can see you experimenting with the idea for some time. I am 29 and realizing more and more that the idea of "drinking normally" is a fantasy that will never be real for someone who is an alcoholic.

Dee74

Welcome back avgcollegekid

If you're a drinker like me, I don't think it's possible, no.

I remember your past posts where you said things like you knew your relationship with alcohol was abnormal.

I don't think there's a way for those of us who have that abnormal relationship to change its nature.

When I drink alcohol - I change...and not for the better.

The day I accepted what I was, and that my relationship with alcohol had to be one of abstaining, it was the start of a great new life

I know you're young - I struggled with the idea I could never control my drinking too - but don't waste 20 years on it like I did.

D

Sapling

Don't hold your breath waiting for people that succeeded at that....If that were the case...I don't think any of us would be here. I was a full blown alkie at your age and I never even bothered addressing it...I give you credit for that...It took me 35 years of self destruction and destroying just about anyone or anything I came in contact with to figure it out. I hope you spare yourself that. Why not give it a try?...Try drinking two beers a night for a month....If you can honestly do this without getting drunk...You could be the one.

midgetcop

I can only speak for myself, but I was in the same boat as you and was never truly able to "tame the beast". Even at 21 I was a problem-drinker, and for years I walked a thin line always telling myself "I like alcohol TOO much to become an alcoholic".

Well, I already was.

avgcollegekid - I think deep down you know the answer to this. How many times have you tried to cut down on your drinking?

ForeverDecember

This feeling is not fun. Feeling like you need it even when you don't want it. Drinking through the first few beers, forcing them down, because eventually they'll taste better and you'll get the buzz... I won't harp on, but the best thing about sobriety is feeling like you have some control over your life again.

I'll admit, I'm still new (12 weeksish) and even now, knowing how much of a hold the alcohol had over me, HAS over me still, I have trouble thinking about "never drinking again". It sounds corny, but thinking "I won't drink today" does actually make it bearable.

If you can moderate successfully will it be worth it? If you're anything like me (and I was very much like you at your age, although I didn't entertain the actual thought that I was an "Alcoholic" until mid 20s... prior to that I just had a "problem" with alcohol), then it's going to be torture. The night you allow yourself to drink you'll go nuts, risk getting hospitalised... then start the long, slow wait until the next month, thinking of it the whole time... or maybe you'll just have a couple with your friends and not get drunk. I can't think of a bigger tease than to only have a couple beers and not be able to get drunk. Torture, torture, torture. How many times have you tried this in the past? Did it work? Was it enjoyable? I'm thinking even if it worked it would've been painful.

Surely it's better just to be rid of it, to know you're rid of it and that be that?

north

If your dream is to one day drink "normally", here is one observation & realization just before I decided to quit drinking for good (Feb 2009).

First, check for any friends or acquaintances who have maybe 2 or 3 - no more - drinks on average during a night out. If you were like me, you might have to look extra hard as I had a hard time finding such people -- my friends tended to be heavy drinkers and alcoholics. Also, I had an additional perception problem - instead of recognizing these people who were happy with only 2-3 drinks during a night out as "normal", I considered them "abnormal". While they were finishing their first drink, I'd most likely be on my third or fifth one.

Second, once you have identified some "normies", do your best to observe them. Try to match their excruciatingly slow pace. If you find it intolerable - tortuous even - and find yourself wondering how the Hell someone can drink that slow? Well, there is a good chance "drinking normally" is more of an unrealistic pipe dream than an achievable goal. Anyways, that's what I figured for me.

HopingToBeSober

I don't think it's possible at all. I've tried and failed many times. I know it sucks, I'm 24 and wish I could just have a couple of beers with my mates. It never works out, always get completely smashed. Give it a try, you never know but it's unlikely. The problem is once you've had a couple, you stop caring about how much you're drinking and just carry on until you're off your face. Happens every time.

ttbp

I tried this time and time again. It didn't work at all x

thisisme

No.

Anon4recovery

Not a chance, for me at least. My job's social functions after work are littered with booze. There is no way I can sip a drop or I'll plummet off the wagon.

I just simply have to abstain for the rest of my life. I have a very addictive personality and my 12 years of drinking have been far enough for my body to handle. Social drinking is not an option ever from now on.

InsertNameHere

Ditto on this, I thought for the longest time I didn't have a problem because I could handle myself, but more and more and especially latley I noticed that I don't want to stop if I start and damn the consequences once I get that first one in me. My last relapse I was calmly drinking my beer infront of people who are for the most part normal drinkers, then excusing myself to go to the bathroom grabbing a beer and chugging it in the bathroom so that I could just get to that happy place quicker. I walked through a closed slidding glass door that night, really lucky I didn't seriously hurt myself. I really doubt that I was ever a normal drinker before I even started to drink, the only times that I have ever said "no i've had enough" was after in hindsite I had had enough four hours ago. So try the above tactic out if you are anything like me it won't work. Even sober recently and watching normal people drink has helped me realize this, when I notice that "John" has had the same glass of wine in his hand for a half an hour or more and thinks nothing of it, I know that if I was drinking I would be working on beer number three by now.

INH

Raindance

Not for me.

Try it and see what happens. To me though the amount and effort required to try to be a controlled drinker is as telling of an alcoholic as anything. How far one will go just to be able to drink.

I am still a work in progress but I know my life is so much less complicated without alcohol in it period.

FT

I think I was like you right at the same age. Wondering why I suddenly had an alcohol "problem". WTF? NOT ME.

I didn't quit for another 10 or 15 years after that. I wish I had quit sooner, because like all other addictions, the one to alcohol has a linear progression, and the line does not veer downwards, only up.

So far, I have never met anyone who eventually quit drinking who said they wished the had drunk longer than they did. There always seem to be regrets.

Interestingly, "normal" drinkers seem to forget to drink, or don't automatically drink just because there is an "occasion". Those same people who sometimes don't ever drink as they get older but maybe used to drink in college at times, rarely mention an endpoint to their drinking. It wasn't an event, because it wasn't even a "decision". It just wasn't important to them. Can you call yourself in that category. I couldn't.

Being a non-drinker is just as fun as being a drinker. Actually, more fun. I never miss out on activities anymore. I used to miss out on them all the time, especially events where I knew I wasn't going to be able to drink, or wasn't sure alcohol would be there. That's NOT fun at all.

FT

PaperDolls

I tried, unsuccessfully for 15 years or so but I probably wasn't doing it right.

langkah

If someone else can do that and you cannot it really doesn't do you a whole lot of good.

If you can have a few with friends and watch the game, then do that. If you find yourself drinking more than you decided to drink going into the evening, or staying up too late puking to be effective the next day, or ruining friendships by your actions while drunk out of your mind, then maybe you're not one of the 90% who process booze normally and can effortlessly control and enjoy their drinking.

Funny that those are the folk who don't care about alcohol like alcoholics care about it. An alcoholic will go to some seriously amazing lengths to try to moderate because we REALLY like the effects.

Join the email list over at Moderation Management to have a peek into that world. Doesn't cost or hurt anything to view how it goes for people trying to do what you'd very much like to be possible for yourself.

You may find yourself living out what you read there, so caution and mindfullness is your best bet. If you have to drink stay away from people, the phone, sharp edged furniture, the internet, cooking, neighbors, relatives, smoking, or anything that has the potential to harm you when you're out of your mind, and you'll cut your consequences down.

By playing it very safe in that way you may get by drinking until your guts fail. Then you can claim to have won the control game.

Good luck, and stay as safe as is possible for as long as it's possible.

Brae

Here is a thread I started a few years ago...I thought you may find some of it interesting....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ns-needed.html

~blessings

TheEnd

For me it wasn't, but I do know some people who have pulled it off.

However, if you're anything like me, you're going to have find out the hard way, because I don't have the ability to learn from other people's mistakes. I had to make all my own, until it finally sank in that I couldn't be a moderate drinker. It was almost too late for me and I almost lost everything that I had worked for. Sobriety is a journey and not a destination. This is your journey, just look out for the road blocks and danger signs along your path. They will be blatantly obvious at times, but you will probably ignore them. It sounds like you're already ignoring some.......

RobbyRobot

Sure, millions of people have done what your asking about, it happens all the time. That's the truth. Not everybody that drinks hard becomes an alcoholic. Problem drinkers and hard drinkers can quit, organise their lives again, and then go on to control their drinking. It really happens all the time. Dosen't mean every single hard drinker can drink socially though, you know?

Alcoholics, not so much. I don't know of great numbers of drinkers who have the illness of alcoholism who can have a healthy drinking relationship with alcohol. Alcoholism and alcohol is fatal eventually if not stopped. I've never seen an alcoholic go back to normal drinking.

So what is alcoholism?

Yeah, that's the thing right?

Are you an alcoholic with alcoholism? Or just another college drinker?

You want to drink less, so just do that. If your having problems with drinking, just stop, yeah? If its a big deal to stop drinking, then you may want to really consider what your own *personal and honest* understanding of alcoholism truthfully is, and what facts do you really know about it.

As for your age, back in 1975-76 I was washed up at 18 myself while I was in college. I tried to quit, many times, and I didn't actually quit until I was 24. By then I was already 6 years past when I wanted to quit, you know?

So how you decide to go about your drinking can really decide how your life ends up. The best way to find out is to quit and see what happens and take it from there. Hope it works for you. For me it was too late. When I finally did quit I never drank again been many years now.

Be honest with yourself and be true to yourself. Be responsible and do the right thing. Best wishes.

Gettingstarted

You are getting great advice here. I will just add my story of when i was younger. I left every party I went to from age 16-23 as soon as the booze was gone. I didn't drink every night, but didn't have access to it freely from 16-20. But every time that I did, I got blitzed. Once I turned 21, I started drinking more and more since I could buy my own alcohol. The thing is a lot of kids your age will drink and party til they puke, but are they craving it the next day again or only drinking when there is a party to go to? I have lots of friends who drank like fish at parties but are not alcoholics and can have one or two cocktails and say they have had enough. I can't do that. I would have my one or two with them and then find an excuse to leave so I could go drink some more by myself. I didn't want to hang out with anyone who wasn't going to get drunk too. But the sad thing is, as an adult, once I found some friends who drank like me.... we'd party together and things would go great for the first month, then their true colors would come through and they were biatches after too many drinks. I didn't get angry when I drank, just sloppy drunk. Neither is better than the other.

I've rambled, but maybe check with a chemical dependency counselor about your concerns. Do you have any other alcoholics in the family? I have tons! I knew at the age of 20 that I had a problem, but waited til 40 to do anything. I'm only two weeks sober, but it is feeling good so far and it is wonderful to get support here. I also see a therapist once a week which helps.