sunrise1

Long story short: Husband has his own set of problems. Noted. Working on it.

Currently, he's sleeping 20 hours daily, or his schedule is completely opposite mine. So- I do my office stuff, make calls and run errands in the daytime/afternoon, but by 7pm I'm out of stuff to do for the day, or the frustration of the situation kicks in, and since he does most or all of the cooking- I am indeed Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. I've told him how lonely I am at nights and he hates it for me, but he is not in a position to get himself well right now.

I am a seriously outgoing person, so it's not that I'm any kind of "shut-in", but there's not much to do around here. I have people to call (and I do), and I DO know there's always something I could be doing, but I think I just get down myself by 7 or 8 pm. So I sit in bed next to him and watch TV and surf the 'net until I go to sleep myself.

I don't mean to let his depression affect mine, but at some point it's near impossible not to.

Any thoughts or suggestions will be gratefully accepted.

Sapling

He's sleeping 20 hours a day???...What kind of problems does he have?

Impurrfect

(((sunrise))) - sorry you're having HALT problems. I'm living at home, at an age I should have LONG been on my own, and I was..until my addiction wreaked it's havoc.

I can't depend on anyone to relieve my issues. The family I live with is drowning in codependency, throw in a bit of addiction and they can drive me crazy. I do spend a lot of time on SR, will be starting the next semester in school in a couple of weeks, but there are times I just have to run to the store, talk to other people, or take a drive and crank my stereo up.

I'm a "people person", too, and last semester I spent 99% of my time working on school work. I thought I was going to go crazy. One morning, I woke up to dad/stepmom yelling at each other and went to the grocery store. No big thing, just getting out of the house and talking to various people in the store. If I'm hungry, I do now how to fix something to eat or can get take-out.

I spent years trying to make other people happy, totally focused on them. Whatever they were doing affected my moods. In recovery (both addiction and codependency) I've learned that I don't have to depend on someone else to give me what I need. It took a while, a long time in total misery, but today, it's working.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

Hi sunrise

that does sound difficult - I hope your husband can find whatever it is he needs to get himself well.

are you still doing music? maybe a little light doodling in that area in the evenings might help fill in those few hours?

D

ForeverDecember

Sorry to hear sunrise A friend of mine is going through the same thing with her husband.

Are there any classes you can join in the evenings, or team sports? Here are some suggestions, some that I do too which I enjoy a lot
- Craft groups (join a "bring your own" group and take along a project that's been sitting around forever, or start a cross stitch or scrap book - scrapbooking's heaps of fun but $$$$) These sessions are great because you pretty much spend the whole night talking!
- Evening swimming groups (like a fitness group, water areobics etc)
- Volunteer work
- Help with the local scout group or Army Cadets or whatever they have near by
- Join a casual sporting team, like darts (be careful not to be tempted by being in a pub), softball is a good one
- Join the gym and go to a yoga class once a week, or pilates
- Take the dogs for a walk, if you don't have dogs maybe you could volunteer at a local shelter and borrow their dogs for a walk! They will love it and so will you
- Do it yourself audio books! OK, not a social thing, but a fun project potentially. Google "Libravox"
- Join a book discussion group

Good luck, I hope your hubby is back to himself soon.