Moderation Drinking Websites
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These sites and organizations are based on the dubious premise that quitting drinking is too extreme, and that proven problem drinkers don't need to take such a drastic step. Essentially, they are targeting problem drinkers who want to keep drinking without the problems it usually entails. There are, of course, many such drinkers. Throw in the enthusiastic backing of a few psychologists, as was the case with Moderation Management, some statistics about how some people pull off drinking again without getting into big trouble, and you have a very good chance of finding many takers among people already impassioned to continue drinking.
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Originally Posted by Terminally Unique 
Essentially, they are targeting problem drinkers who want to keep drinking without the problems it usually entails. There are, of course, many such drinkers.
Its_me_jen
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Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
Essentially, they are targeting problem drinkers who want to keep drinking without the problems it usually entails.
RIP Sweet Suki
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Many alcoholics, myself included, did not want to believe I could not handle drinking alcohol. We will try just about anything to prove, both to ourselves and others, that we are not alcoholics, we just drink a little too much sometimes. We want to believe we can control our alcohol intake, and sites such as those you mention, help us to carry on that belief a little longer.
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So, not many people can actually do moderation successfully?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
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Originally Posted by choublak
Those sound like alcoholics in denial to me.
Originally Posted by choublak
So, not many people can actually do moderation successfully?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
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Originally Posted by choublak
So, not many people can actually do moderation successfully?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
What about people who binge drink and guzzle beer to the point of getting drunk in college, who then graduate college and need to transition from college-style drinking to normal drinking?
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Sobriety is a journey not a destination. For many people, moderation is just one rode they have to travel until they come to grips with their alcoholism. At least it was for me. Some people who are not really alcoholics and just heavy drinkers, find success in moderation management. Everyone is not the same. Different strokes for different folks.
Alcoholics like to group anybody who is problem drinker into one group. IMHO they need to get over that, and just focus on themselves.
Alcoholics like to group anybody who is problem drinker into one group. IMHO they need to get over that, and just focus on themselves.
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Think of it as supply and demand.
A very long time ago there were people who smoked a lot and would say 'We don't drink or do no drugs'.
Some of the smokers wanted to try to drink some but couldn't seem to pull it off. One lady said 'just drink this much and no more and you'll be peachy', even though she couldn't seem to do that. But, since it was just what the parched crowd wanted to hear they started trying to do that, feeling good that they were doing it under the auspices of an authority with a book and everything, but with few exceptions they couldn't do it any better than the lady could.
Some of those decided the problem were the suggested limits were wrong and too confining for people who REALLY liked to drink so a few of them decided that if they can drink like pigs without wrecking the car like the night before, it's progress and all progress is a good thing. Even if they did wreck the car it's still ok because they wanted better for themselves before wrecking the car, which is better than before and better is better. Ya better agree, too.
A few of the old smokers decided they understood some things the others didn't and when very new set up programs that other new people would like because they didn't contain various things that customarily are bothersome to new people. Unfortunately so much bothers new people that it was difficult to fashion a truly non-offensive program that was universally ok, so one after another as time went by tried to get a new thing going with less and less viewpoints or suggestions that anyone who was shaking off a horrible drunk might get jumpy about. Not an easy task.
As the process of refining recovery groups continues, the continued watering down of the soup will progress until there isn't much left at the bottom of the bowl to offend even the hypersensitive with severe drinking-related nerve damage.
In my estimation the ultimate refinement will arrive when the newest group removes anything that relates to recovery or sobriety with all other approaches including moderation lightly referenced but never suggested or spoken of directly or specifically.
The meetings would consist of each member in turn stating vaguely that they 'were or were not doing something that some might say is working after a fashion, sorta', after which all the other group members will applaud and whistle.
A very long time ago there were people who smoked a lot and would say 'We don't drink or do no drugs'.
Some of the smokers wanted to try to drink some but couldn't seem to pull it off. One lady said 'just drink this much and no more and you'll be peachy', even though she couldn't seem to do that. But, since it was just what the parched crowd wanted to hear they started trying to do that, feeling good that they were doing it under the auspices of an authority with a book and everything, but with few exceptions they couldn't do it any better than the lady could.
Some of those decided the problem were the suggested limits were wrong and too confining for people who REALLY liked to drink so a few of them decided that if they can drink like pigs without wrecking the car like the night before, it's progress and all progress is a good thing. Even if they did wreck the car it's still ok because they wanted better for themselves before wrecking the car, which is better than before and better is better. Ya better agree, too.
A few of the old smokers decided they understood some things the others didn't and when very new set up programs that other new people would like because they didn't contain various things that customarily are bothersome to new people. Unfortunately so much bothers new people that it was difficult to fashion a truly non-offensive program that was universally ok, so one after another as time went by tried to get a new thing going with less and less viewpoints or suggestions that anyone who was shaking off a horrible drunk might get jumpy about. Not an easy task.
As the process of refining recovery groups continues, the continued watering down of the soup will progress until there isn't much left at the bottom of the bowl to offend even the hypersensitive with severe drinking-related nerve damage.
In my estimation the ultimate refinement will arrive when the newest group removes anything that relates to recovery or sobriety with all other approaches including moderation lightly referenced but never suggested or spoken of directly or specifically.
The meetings would consist of each member in turn stating vaguely that they 'were or were not doing something that some might say is working after a fashion, sorta', after which all the other group members will applaud and whistle.
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Yes.
In hindsight it looked different on the 'inside' if that makes any sense. I was partying and he was coping. Even all those years ago his drinking had control of him and not the other way around. I didn't see that at the time.
In hindsight it looked different on the 'inside' if that makes any sense. I was partying and he was coping. Even all those years ago his drinking had control of him and not the other way around. I didn't see that at the time.
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Originally Posted by Thumper
Yes.
In hindsight it looked different on the 'inside' if that makes any sense. I was partying and he was coping. Even all those years ago his drinking had control of him and not the other way around. I didn't see that at the time.
In hindsight it looked different on the 'inside' if that makes any sense. I was partying and he was coping. Even all those years ago his drinking had control of him and not the other way around. I didn't see that at the time.
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Why do we assume that people who go to MM are "alcoholics in denial"? There are absolutely people who have had drinking problems who are able to moderate. My gracious, there are threads galore on this very site where folks decry the presence of people who aren't "real" alcoholics at certain recovery meetings!
Personally, I see no reason why people who are able to moderate their drinking should not have a support group to assist them in their goal.
I actually tried MM, and have nothing but good to say about it. Not because it helped me, but because it didn't. I could NOT DO what they asked, which helped me to see that, for me, moderation was not an appropriate way to address my drinking. I found this helpful, and I've never seen it as a reason to conclude that the group should be disbanded or that it could not be helpful to someone who was able to moderate.
Personally, I see no reason why people who are able to moderate their drinking should not have a support group to assist them in their goal.
I actually tried MM, and have nothing but good to say about it. Not because it helped me, but because it didn't. I could NOT DO what they asked, which helped me to see that, for me, moderation was not an appropriate way to address my drinking. I found this helpful, and I've never seen it as a reason to conclude that the group should be disbanded or that it could not be helpful to someone who was able to moderate.
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Originally Posted by choublak
You're saying that when you first met your AH, YOU were actually drinking more than HIM?
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Originally Posted by onlythetruth
Why do we assume that people who go to MM are "alcoholics in denial"? There are absolutely people who have had drinking problems who are able to moderate. My gracious, there are threads galore on this very site where folks decry the presence of people who aren't "real" alcoholics at certain recovery meetings!
Personally, I see no reason why people who are able to moderate their drinking should not have a support group to assist them in their goal.
I actually tried MM, and have nothing but good to say about it. Not because it helped me, but because it didn't. I could NOT DO what they asked, which helped me to see that, for me, moderation was not an appropriate way to address my drinking. I found this helpful, and I've never seen it as a reason to conclude that the group should be disbanded or that it could not be helpful to someone who was able to moderate.
Personally, I see no reason why people who are able to moderate their drinking should not have a support group to assist them in their goal.
I actually tried MM, and have nothing but good to say about it. Not because it helped me, but because it didn't. I could NOT DO what they asked, which helped me to see that, for me, moderation was not an appropriate way to address my drinking. I found this helpful, and I've never seen it as a reason to conclude that the group should be disbanded or that it could not be helpful to someone who was able to moderate.
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Originally Posted by onlythetruth
Why do we assume that people who go to MM are "alcoholics in denial"?
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