FattyMcFatty

Hi folks, new here.

I recently was nearing 8 months when it happened. I relapsed. I went big. Nobody knows about it but me, and I can't stand it. I'm feeling ashamed Stupid, like a failure, depressed etc.

Have you relapsed? What do I do next ?

Image101

Only thing to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep at it (recovery, that is). Relapse is very common; I can't tell you how many times I did before sobriety finally stuck.

bozboz

I relapsed a lot before, too. Since I found SR, I have not relapsed again. I had to make a plan and try a new stratagy. I see a therapist, go to meetings, and spend a lot of my free time here. Welcome to SR. you will get great advice here and different ideas to help you stay sober.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!! I know when I first got here, I read through a lot of posts. I saw how other people were staying clean/sober, and just tried different things. Some worked, some not so well, but it's really great knowing we're not alone and others have been through, or are still going through similar situations.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

FattyMcFatty

Thanks guys, I've actually lurked here for a while, then just made an account today. I did go to a group for a few months, and I loved it, it really helped. My relapse was a few weeks ago, but I can't shake how ashamed I feel. I lied to my wife, (By not saying anything).
I will be attending meetings twice a week through the holiday's, and since this really just happened, I know I will be safe for a while. Checking this site daily/hourly really helps too!

Thanks again, I'm glad you guys are here...

least

Welcome to the family. Get back up, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again. I had too many relapses to remember but I finally 'got it' and am now two years sober.

24hrsAday

Welcome FMF! i always planned my Drunks.. i really just Gave Up on sobriety the times i went back out.. i always regretted doing it the next day. no exceptions. i think this site can be a big help to you! keep posting.. peace.

Impurrfect

(((Fatty))) - I lurked, too - for over a year, before and after a relapse. It really did make a difference when I signed in and started participating, and I hope it has the same affect on you It's like having friends all over the country and world who "get" us, and I never want to come back here, after another relapse, so it helps me be accountable.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Nirvana1

All you can do is learn from your mistakes. I've had to learn most life lessons by messing up first. I tried to get sober a couple times on my own will power and then threw in the towel and decided I need to get support to stay sober.

If you stop drinking now and get back on track it won't be that big of an issue. If in a day, week or month you start drinking again, then you are now dealing with a serious relapse.

Zebra1275

I assume when you say that you are going to attend meetings twice a week during the Holidays, that you are referring to AA meetings. Twice a week is not very many meetings for someone in early recovery.

A lot of people will suggest 90 meetings in 90 days, but I think that is really tough if you work and have other family responsibilities. But double your projected meeting attendance to 4 per week (or roughly every other day) and read from the BB and log onto SR everyday, and see how that works. That's pretty much what I did in early sobriety. Now my sobriety is sort of at the "maintenance level" and I do 3 meetings per week along with daily stuff.

Dee74

Welcome to SR FMF

I think most of us have experienced what you have - like others have said - look at what happened and why, think about what you can add to what you've been doing, then get back on the right road

You'll find a lot of support here

As far as your wife goes - I don't know the dynamics or your relationship or how involved she is in your recovery...but honesty's very important to me

D

dawnrunner

While a relapse is a setback for sure, and I understand your shame (from having felt it on such occasions myself), relapse is also educational. You can reflect on what you didn't do right.


There's a good book called Staying Sober: A Guide for Relapse Prevention by Gorski et. al. which discusses the process that precedes relapse, and how to short-circuit that process early enough. The basic idea is that the beginning of a relapse is usually quite a long time in advance of picking up.

Good for you for getting right back into your sobriety! Best wishes!!

Hevyn

Hi Fatty. Failures don't try again. Try not to be ashamed - you're giving it another shot, and that's what counts.

The first time I signed on to SR was after a terrible binge. I was filled with guilt & remorse. The advice I was given pulled me through, and gave me the courage to reach out for a new life. No point in staying disappointed in yourself - you can't move forward if you do. Give Fatty another chance - you can do it this time, and never look back.

AA4life

Nothing to do but jump back on the horse.

Jay1980

I've relapsed more times than I can count. I never want to do it again. I almost did it today. I know it's a lot easier said than done but try to put the past behind you. It's done, it's over with. You can't go back and change it so just try to learn from it and move on.