DrivenHeart85

Winter is killing me. I haven't seen the sun for like two weeks because of my work schedule. I go in early and stay late so the sun is down every time and we don't have any windows in my department.

I upped my anti-depressants, I added working out (in a lull right now), I'm looking to take Vitamin D supplements, I have a light box at work that I use but I STILL just want to crawl in bed and stay there. And it's only December!! Winter here goes until MAY!

Even though I work so much, I can't afford a vacation to some place sunny because I have neither the time nor the money. Last February I threw away 8 months of sobriety because of this depression. It gets to the point where you start thinking about death and then figure you're better off as a drunk than being awake to the hell every day. But I just can't drink this winter, I won't...I'll probably want to 1 million times but that's my addiction. It's just that my addiction knows I've caved in the past due to depression so now it's gonna make itself my best friend.

Anyway, I'm freaking out....as you can maybe tell. I slept pretty much from the time I got home from work last night to the time I woke up for work this morning. This is ridiculous!

SASA

I understand. I try to listen to relaxing music to make sure I am not getting depressed

awesomeame

I go to a tanning salon. I too feel like crap once I can't be outdoors daily, getting sun. I hit the salon mon/wed/fri, 6mins each time. Seems to do the trick and hardly changes your color...give it a go!

Matt

DrivenHeart85

I would try tanning but I did it a lot in college and got suspicious looking skin marks from it...so I try to avoid it. Had to have one removed last year even because the doctor didn't think it was ok...so I'm not sure tanning is a good idea for me.

DrivenHeart85

Maybe I'll have to double my citalopram rather than stick with my 1.5 dose. I'm at 30mg and can go up to 40mg. Yes, I know I'm supposed to see my doctor to do that but why should I pay $30 for a 10 minute appointment where I ask permission to do something I already know is fine? lol

Justfor1

I have the same problem. No sun here for a while. Last winter hitting the tan place seemed to help.

LaFemme

I do find Vitamin D very helpful, but you have to take a fairly high dose. Ask your doctor how much you can safely take. Also...any chance you can go outside for 10 minutes at lunch?

NESfan

If you figure out a solution, please let me know. Cleveland is probably not going to see the sun until some time in May.

aasharon90

Here's a favorite song we all know to
sing ot hum to urself. Sending sunshiny
wishes where you live.





Here comes the sun (du dn du du)
Here comes the sun
And I say
Its alright

Little darling
Its been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say
Its alright

Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun (du dn du du)
Here comes the sun
And I say
Its alright

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes (four times)

Little darling
I see the ice is slowly melting
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun (du dn du du)
Here comes the sun
Its alright

laurie6781

Here's what I did and what I do.

Yes, we do need the sun, however in parts of this country the winters are long. Go to store, ie Home Depot, Wal Mart, K Mart, Target, local hardware store.

Go to the light bulb section. Look for the light bulbs (they are a bit more expensive) that are 'sun bulbs'. The mimic the part of the sunlight that allows you to build Vit D.

I have them in my lamps in the living room and the bedroom.

I can honestly say, that when I first got them, 4 years ago, during a very cold and rainy and dark November (we normally get 350 days of sunshine in this state), that within one week I was feeling much better. I got this suggestion from my psych Dr as an alternative to increasing my Anti D dose.

They work and never had to increase the dose.

In speaking with some friends that live in Alaska, they have used these bulbs longer than I have and would not be without them up there. The bulbs have really 'improved' their overall winter 'mood.'

J M H O

Love and hugs,

bmwcycle

Vitamin D helps me a lot, I take 5000 unit pill every morning. Make a big difference.

December is the worst but the good news is in two weeks the day will start to get longer rather than shorter.

Best of luck,

Fandy

laurie, whats the brand name and wattage please....i will definitely give them a try too. it was pitch dark today at 4PM and pouring rain. right now i am trying to make the living room cheery with Xmas lights, tree on, outside lights, but i hate the time of year in NJ with only 8 hours of daylight....i'm up at 5AM and home at 6PM...i have windows in my office and the extra flouresent light on my desk and also take vitamin D. but the sun will be setting at 415PM by the solstice.

DrivenHeart85

Thanks for the responses everyone! Lots of helpful ideas!

I was doing pretty good at work with my light and vitamin D but as soon as the day was over and I got in my car and started driving I felt the thud of depression hit again. Everything was pitch black, piled high with snow, my car covered in salt and snowy slush, the cold seeping in every corner of my clothing it could. Sigh. I almost wonder if I'm damaged from last winter. lol It snowed up until early May this year...that's like half a year of winter. Anyway, just getting a little disheartened because the liquor area at the grocery store was "throbbing" at me tonight. Ugh, my addictive side was in a coma before compared to what it is now with the snow on the ground. I'm starting to think my reaction to the snow has gone beyond a biological effect but now into the psychological...the beginning of winter shouldn't make you want to start sobbing. I mean, at work I was feeling fine, but then I stepped outside and then there was no more ambition for the gym, no ambition to cook dinner, just go home, watch tv and lay on the couch. Something is wrong with this picture.

laurie6781

Fandy I sent you a PM so that I am not doing any 'advertising' or putting to a link other than recovery, rofl

Love and hugs,

Threshold

We got twenty inches of snow in the past week. I feel like I am being smothered my a huge blanket. It's so quiet, all the familiar landmarks are blotted out. It's cold. The roads are slick and dangerous,and I felt a mixture of panic, desperation and depression.

I am blessed in that I can walk to and from work, and depending on my shift at least one of those walks is in sunlight. I'd lose my mind otherwise.

Try the lights, I hear they work wonders.

eJoshua

Me too, bleh it sucks...

Hang in there, at least we have the holidays to brighten things up this side of the New Year. Jan-March are usually the worst for me.

LaFemme

In dealing with depression I found a daily practice of gratitude helped me...the gratitude boards here were a big help for me in getting in the practice of gratitude