SVSHE

I am not sure if I am in the right Thread but, here it goes. 2 months ago I decided to wholeheartedly Stop drinking and I now realize that I am physically addicted. I have gone a little farther in my addiction then I thought I could go and my epiphany is I am now stuck on a ride that I cant get off of. Not with out help.

4 weeks ago on a bender and out of pure desperation I called the Police on my self. In my frustration after an entire day spent making about 20 (actually 14) phone calls to various recovery programs, counseling facilities and so on I got a lot of answering machines and a lot of "with no Insurance we cant help you" and a lot of "Ma'am" your going to need to go to the hospital.

My highest low point came when I called the Hospital and I simply asked the Operator if she could transfer me to the or "A" addiction abuse center or put me in touch with some sort of outpatient resources. She transferred me 5 times and I spoke with 5 people who still did not understand the question.

Your Kidding right?

My bright idea in a wasted state of mind became even brighter. That and being in public safety the quickest way to get into the system was to "Get into the system" Jail is a good place to start? I finished a 750 ml bottle of Vodka and put my shoes on an dried my eyes. 8 mins later (I live in a small town) a Supervising officer and his rookie arrived. I begged them to take me and they would not..."FOR WHAT" . I expanded that I am a danger to myself. after an hour with the nice gentleman and a few jokes. They told me to Dry out and come down and fill out a application for a dispatch position. Funny???

I am unemployed have have been for almost a year. I cried and cried and cried and then just passed out after the guys left.

My story continues.

A week later after a few returned phone calls a couple of badly ended AA meetings and a fist fight and a foot race to "DRY OUT"

I had another BAD DAY!

I called 911 to have a Medical BLS unit sent to me for transport to a hospital. A Bad Day of heart palpitations, shakes and audio hallucinations..giving IN and drinking. Off I went to the Hospital..surely someone will help if I am in the Hospital. 8 hours later with the nice non slip socks and a pretty bracelet I, was discharged by a nice handsome Dr. that explained that an addiction counselor will be coming in before you go and meet with you to help you with services. HALLELUJAH!

The Ball is now rolling for me in a good direction and in 4-6 weeks I will hopefully be doing a "Detox Program" I realize that this forum cant provide me medical but, rather support. I want the support and to be with other people that "Get my Disease".

I am a "I can do it all by myself" stay at home cheap Vodka girl and I am trying. I have not drank today and I am starting to not feel well. I hope that this will be a good platform for sobriety and today will not be easy but maybe less hard? Why all the alone isolation? I am new to the area and most of my friends are not close, married and busy with their lives.

Thanks for your time

InsertNameHere

Welcome there has been alot of us just starting out latley I'm only on day two myself along with a couple of others and I have trouble remembering the last time I made it more than three. However back then I didn't think I had a problem now I know that I do. I am glad you found yourself some help and sorry it took so long to find it. There are alot of people here alot more knowledgable than me that have been helping me and others out. If you are new you might want to post this in the Newbie forum as posts get answered there pretty quickly, and you might just get yourself a double dose of advise.

SVSHE

Thanks. I will move me to Newbie. I am just relieved that I dont feel so alone and I am in GOOD COMPANY.

Elisabeth888

Hi and welcome!

I totally get the disease. I, too, have called the cops on myself, or rather 911. We get to such a desperate place when we are drinking. Frankly my nerves cannot take another round of drinking. I am bipolar and alcohol intensifies my anxiety.

I would encourage you to try another meeting or AA group, or some other in-person support group. It really helps to meet and talk with others like us face to face.

Seeing and hearing others that have survived the hell and have sobriety and are truly happy gives me hope.

Keep posting here, you will find lots of support!!

dawnrunner

Hurray for the doctor who gave you some help at last!!!

I had to laugh at the cops suggesting you apply for a dispatch job.

While you are waiting for your treatment program to start, drink lots of Gatorade, get lots of sleep if you can, link to a free copy of the AA big book online and browse through it, find a nice meeting, and get ready for a whole new life.

Congratulations on your commitment and may you find the journey of healing a fabulous road, one step at a time...

SVSHE

The Last AA meeting ended badly for me. I am staying in my comfort zone for now and off the streets. sometimes when you feel you have lost everything there is nothing else to lose..

SVSHE

Yep. Application is sitting right here all 30 pages of it. I am glad to be here!

Dee74

please follow SVSHE'S other thread here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...am-i-here.html

D