What is it about alcohol that makes you become an douchebag?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: irving
Posts: 6
Yup, been there done that all too recently. I become very bitter and horrible after a couple days of drinking. A freight train that will take on the world. I don't care who you are, when I am upset and drink its watch out. Thankfully havent gone to jail or hurt anyone physically. Been VERY lucky there that I get as close to the line without crossing it with people. VERY lucky and I know that I have to completely eliminate any drinking. I will be fine when out with friends for a few then when I have something bad come up it gives me the ticket to say I can drink. Well too many tickets have been bought and now I am out of the ticket buying line. Bad analogy, but you know what I am saying.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 318
Thank you, Ojibway84. I know I should just let it go and focus on fixing myself and having a happy life.
I just feel so confused and have always wondered "why." I feel like if I got answers I could have closure, I would understand and just kind of feel better about things, I don't know.
I have a happy life, now, and am determined not to have any close contact anymore with the toxic family I grew up in, just superficial contact, but I feel like there will always be these questions in the back of my mind that will never go away.
P.S. Is it hard on you knowing he's drinking again? I think it's something that always hurts. You always hope for the best, if you love someone you can't help but wish for better. And it hurts when better doesn't happen.
I just feel so confused and have always wondered "why." I feel like if I got answers I could have closure, I would understand and just kind of feel better about things, I don't know.
I have a happy life, now, and am determined not to have any close contact anymore with the toxic family I grew up in, just superficial contact, but I feel like there will always be these questions in the back of my mind that will never go away.
P.S. Is it hard on you knowing he's drinking again? I think it's something that always hurts. You always hope for the best, if you love someone you can't help but wish for better. And it hurts when better doesn't happen.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 28
Drinking didn't make me a douchebag. I was a douchebag without the booze.
Drinking made it easy to be an OVERT douchebag so I could drag everyone around me down to my level to make me feel better about myself.
When I stopped drinking I was still a douchebag. (that's why I joined AA, and it worked for me)
Drinking made it easy to be an OVERT douchebag so I could drag everyone around me down to my level to make me feel better about myself.
When I stopped drinking I was still a douchebag. (that's why I joined AA, and it worked for me)
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
Had a fight with a good friend this weekend, that wouldn't have happened without alcohol... I wont get to see her again for a very long time, possibly more than a year, and our last night went from a fun party night to a bad time in seconds because she was drunk and needed to go home, and I wanted to spend more time with her. Both drunk, me thinking I was right. Looking back, I wasn't. She needed to go, and I should have just said goodnight! Of course we worked things out, but booze can make you stupid for sure!
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by ACOAHappyNow 
Thank you for your honesty and for this thread. I grew up wondering why my father grew increasingly more nasty and bitter and cynical and just sickening and mean, with each drinking year. Wondering why the way he thought, made no sense at all to me. Wondering if I was crazy or if it was him.
The only part I still don't understand, is why he would deny that he did anything bad when drinking. I guess it's part of denial maybe? I don't know. But he'd listen to everyone tell him what he did, and he'd either deny it outright (most often), or minimize it, saying "everyone has problems" as if beating his wife and children was normal. He never even once admitted, "yeah, I did that, and I'm sorry I did that, it was wrong." Never, not once. And every wife (he's on wife 6) said, "I hate that he never admits when he does something wrong." So it's not just me noticing he always denies and minimizes. That part of it is still something I wonder about and don't fully understand. I guess he thinks if he doesn't admit it, he won't have to pay the price for his behavior? But the thing is, he does end up paying the price anyway, in terms of broken relationships, getting arrested, etc. Soooo??? I don't know....I still don't understand why he denies that he does bad things when drinking.
The only part I still don't understand, is why he would deny that he did anything bad when drinking. I guess it's part of denial maybe? I don't know. But he'd listen to everyone tell him what he did, and he'd either deny it outright (most often), or minimize it, saying "everyone has problems" as if beating his wife and children was normal. He never even once admitted, "yeah, I did that, and I'm sorry I did that, it was wrong." Never, not once. And every wife (he's on wife 6) said, "I hate that he never admits when he does something wrong." So it's not just me noticing he always denies and minimizes. That part of it is still something I wonder about and don't fully understand. I guess he thinks if he doesn't admit it, he won't have to pay the price for his behavior? But the thing is, he does end up paying the price anyway, in terms of broken relationships, getting arrested, etc. Soooo??? I don't know....I still don't understand why he denies that he does bad things when drinking.
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by RunnerBill
Drinking didn't make me a douchebag. I was a douchebag without the booze.
Drinking made it easy to be an OVERT douchebag so I could drag everyone around me down to my level to make me feel better about myself.
When I stopped drinking I was still a douchebag. (that's why I joined AA, and it worked for me)
Drinking made it easy to be an OVERT douchebag so I could drag everyone around me down to my level to make me feel better about myself.
When I stopped drinking I was still a douchebag. (that's why I joined AA, and it worked for me)
I would start ranting over nothing, like the other night. It literally was nothing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 318
I have faith that you can conquer this beast of alcoholism, Master. I went to a counselor for a couple of years for my ACOA stuff, and she specialized in addictive families (was a recovering A herself). She said what really distinguished people who recover and get better from people who don't, is their ability to be honest with themselves.
You are honest with yourself and others so you will get better. I'm certain of it. You will win this battle!
I've given up hope for my Dad. Even when he got arrested for strangling his wife (she lived) he felt that the daughter of his current wife, who was maybe 14 at the time, was a horrible person for calling the cops to protect her mother. He didn't see anything wrong with what he had done, of course. You know, gotta keep women in line, etc. He never does anything wrong. That's how he feels. But oh gosh, calling the police for protection and to keep him from killing his wife - now that's a terrible thing.
That's how he thinks and acts. And he's been stinking drinking thinking for oh, sixty years (or longer) now so don't think he'll change now....
You are honest with yourself and others so you will get better. I'm certain of it. You will win this battle!
I've given up hope for my Dad. Even when he got arrested for strangling his wife (she lived) he felt that the daughter of his current wife, who was maybe 14 at the time, was a horrible person for calling the cops to protect her mother. He didn't see anything wrong with what he had done, of course. You know, gotta keep women in line, etc. He never does anything wrong. That's how he feels. But oh gosh, calling the police for protection and to keep him from killing his wife - now that's a terrible thing.
That's how he thinks and acts. And he's been stinking drinking thinking for oh, sixty years (or longer) now so don't think he'll change now....
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by ACOAHappyNow
P.S. Is it hard on you knowing he's drinking again? I think it's something that always hurts. You always hope for the best, if you love someone you can't help but wish for better. And it hurts when better doesn't happen.
My brother is going to confront him soon about it, I think he thought it through about involving our mother because shes gone through enough. He may talk to him before our mother or make a deal with him not to drink anymore. I don't know though, as we all know, he can just hide the cans in a better way or lock the car and take the keys so we cant get in. Only time will tell and I have accepted that I need to focus on myself in my recovery. Well it's good to hear you having a positive life. Keep at it my friend it is worth it. I just went out to a movie with a girl I met and I had a blast and we were laughing and having a good time before and during and after the movie. If it weren't for my program and going back to the day shift I'd never would have met her! We're thinking of getting together again soon for christmas holidays since she goes to university. shes amazing and Im so very happy. it's great! Better then 4 months ago when I was getting smashed and pretending everything was fine when it wasn't/ good luck
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
I'm the type of drunk where whatever mood I was in would just be elevated. If I was in a goofy, fun type of mood I was gonna be the life of the party. If I was pissed I was looking for the first guy to fight with after I started drinking. If I was sad or depressed I would probably burst into tears after my 2nd pint.
And even though I was always in a blackout I'd always remember to erase all my calls and all my texts sent out. Facebook was another story. That stuff was there for me to see in the morning...
And even though I was always in a blackout I'd always remember to erase all my calls and all my texts sent out. Facebook was another story. That stuff was there for me to see in the morning...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by TheMaster
I have noticed, lately, that when I drink, I turn into a real douchebag, if I am around others or online.
And I will say some really vile things without the slightest provocation...
I have been on the wagon, before and always seem to fall off it. It just seems fun again, so you start back. But lately, I have discovered that I simply CANNOT drink around other people.
And I have gone to great lengths to avoid it, like removing my wireless adapter from the computer, taking it to work, and leaving it for the weekend (drinking time)...
How do you get to THIS??? I feel rotten, now.
And I will say some really vile things without the slightest provocation...
I have been on the wagon, before and always seem to fall off it. It just seems fun again, so you start back. But lately, I have discovered that I simply CANNOT drink around other people.
And I have gone to great lengths to avoid it, like removing my wireless adapter from the computer, taking it to work, and leaving it for the weekend (drinking time)...
How do you get to THIS??? I feel rotten, now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Jay1980
I'm the type of drunk where whatever mood I was in would just be elevated. If I was in a goofy, fun type of mood I was gonna be the life of the party. If I was pissed I was looking for the first guy to fight with after I started drinking. If I was sad or depressed I would probably burst into tears after my 2nd pint.
And even though I was always in a blackout I'd always remember to erase all my calls and all my texts sent out. Facebook was another story. That stuff was there for me to see in the morning...
And even though I was always in a blackout I'd always remember to erase all my calls and all my texts sent out. Facebook was another story. That stuff was there for me to see in the morning...
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