Xeperxi

Hi everyone:

I dont know if this is the right place to post, Im new here. I need help.

I'm 40 years old and know I have a problem with alcohol. I have never told anyone, but a few people I am close to know. I have a 9 year old son, and am recently married. I drink at least a pint of vodka a night, sometimes a fifth a night. I have tried to stop, and cant. I have went 2-3 days without drinking but always go back. I go to work almost every day with a hangover, although over time I have gotten used to it.

I tell myself I dont have a problem, even though I have drank like this for 10 years. I have tried to stop, but cant. I will go for a few days and then I sneak back out with the excuse of needing cigarrettes or something else and pick up a fifth, come home, hide it, and secretly drink throughout the night. I would say I drink 5-6 times a week, most nights a fifth of vodka per night, sometimes only a pint.

I dont know what to do, I dont know who to talk to. I fear the stigma of being known as an alcoholic.

Dee74

Hi Xeperxi

Welcome!

well here's a great place to start - you find a lot of ideas and support here.

If you've been drinking regularly for a while I recommend you see a Dr - detox can sometimes be troublesome for some of us.

Support here really helped me turn my life around - it was easier somehow knowing I wasn't alone and had a group to be accountable to.

There is a variety of other face to face support too - the thing about a recovery group is everyone is dealing with the same stigma - and, more and more these days, some recovery groups have online stuff too anyway

here some links to read around in:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

and please do keep reading and posting here

D

Xeperxi

Thank you I will check the resources. I guess I'm either in denial or confused keep telling myself I can stop but never do. I try and at night I make excuses to go to the store and inevitably I buy a fifth, for no reason. I drink for no reason, not upset just something to do. I feel great when I do but feel horrible in the morning and swear off alcohol, then next night same thing. I tell myself I don't have a problem, sodont know just confused. I do stupid things and say stupid things when I'm drunk, txt or call people and I black out every time and don't remeber. To be honest drinking know its like a circle I can't break free of. Only problem I have with AA is I'm very anti Christian so don't know what to do. I've lived I. Secrecy shame for so long

SD777

I was a sneaky vodka drinker also. My body finally told me "enough"! and I had to stop. It'll be a month this Wednesday. It was difficult going through withdrawals, so if you choose sobriety,make sure you have medical help... It's dangerous going it alone, and there are meds that can ease some of the side effects of withdrawal. This site has given me alot of strength, it is a great support, with people just like you and me who have struggled and continue to find joy in a sober life. Good luck and best wishes. You are not alone.

Xeperxi

Thanks SD I feel bad about sneaking my drinking waiting until everyone is in bed then quietly making drinks. How does one know I'd they are a true alchoholic? Sorry I've never looked or been open to this so I don't know much always told myself it's normal but know its not

Xeperxi

Oh and congrats when you say medical help, would I just call my family dr and say I need help? Feel weird about that lol wish there was a way to find someone local who went through what I'm going throigh for support give me more confidence i guess on admitting to it

Dee74

Personally I don't worry too much about the labels - if our drinking is causing us problems and we can't stop - we need to deal with it, I think...

plenty of time to work out what to call it later

D

least

If alcohol is causing problems in your life it's time to be done with it, doesn't matter what you call it. Getting medical help just means seeing your doctor for some help to get safely thru the withdrawals as alcohol w/d can be dangerous.

I gave it up for good almost two years and don't miss it one bit. In fact, I've never been happier. And by living sober I eliminate the risks that come with drinking: legal risk, health risk, all kinds of bad things can happen from drinking.

sugarbear1

I grew up non christian. AA saved my life. There are other sources or programs for staying stopped. I was willing to do anything to stay stopped & found someone to take me through all 12 steps when I had 14 + 15 days sober. I had a profound change. No cravings since and I made it to 6 months. Maybe I was beat down & desperate enough.

Even aa says it's not the only way nor is it for everyone.

Find something that works for you. This site is amazing & there are others out in the internet....

You can stay stopped! Stick around here!

freshstart57

I finally came clean to my family doctor who had been treating me for depression and anxiety, told her that despite my assurance that I didn't abuse alcohol, I was drinking just like you. She didn't even blink, just moved on with what I needed to do next.

Don't get stuck on the idea of identifying yourself as a XXXXXXX, it is not helpful in my mind. What will help you is to decide that this is going to stop, and you are going to do everything you can think of, try every option you can find. You are going to keep at this promise you will make to yourself because your life depends on it. Make a plan for yourself by answering this question: what is my plan for my continued use of alcohol?

It is very simple to say this, but difficult to do. You will get sober and stay that way, because you can.

slimjim30

Your doctor won't judge you. I have had to tell numerous medical professionals and none have given me anything but support.