Did ya all miss me?
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Did ya all miss me?
Well, I am back, and decided to post a bit again, maybe it will help.
So, did everyone wonder whatever happened to 'ol Husky Pup, or did you breathe a sigh of relief? :P
Well, I have had some ups and downs, need to sort some thing out, but struggling in many ways, and feeling very much alienated from the 'recovery community' after trying my best to listen and be polite at meetings and such...so have been wanting to find a more independent kind of meeting, more like a discussion group open to various paths to sobriety, than AA was for the several months that I tried it`. Not to say it did not have it's merits, but was not for me.
And please, in advance, I am not trying to start a fight...if you plan to post something like 'You just didn't try AA hard enough', or 'you are just in denial' please, don't, as that is not what I am seeking to discuss...have some respect for my secular beliefs & save that stuff for the 12 steps thread, and share things aimed at being kind and understanding, that speak to me as a person seeking a path...I am looking for hope, not barbed insults, which is why I stopped posting as much, and could not go to meetings anymore...I became a tolerated oddity, welcomed at first, but the more I would share, the less people wanted to hear. So it felt like I got squeezed out, as I did not have the same idea of a loving HP 'saving' me, after giving it my best shot, and after much reflection.
Well, it was an interesting experiment, but moving forward...now what? I wish there was some other kinds of groups in my area, that met when I didn't work, but having trouble finding any
H. Pup
So, did everyone wonder whatever happened to 'ol Husky Pup, or did you breathe a sigh of relief? :P
Well, I have had some ups and downs, need to sort some thing out, but struggling in many ways, and feeling very much alienated from the 'recovery community' after trying my best to listen and be polite at meetings and such...so have been wanting to find a more independent kind of meeting, more like a discussion group open to various paths to sobriety, than AA was for the several months that I tried it`. Not to say it did not have it's merits, but was not for me.
And please, in advance, I am not trying to start a fight...if you plan to post something like 'You just didn't try AA hard enough', or 'you are just in denial' please, don't, as that is not what I am seeking to discuss...have some respect for my secular beliefs & save that stuff for the 12 steps thread, and share things aimed at being kind and understanding, that speak to me as a person seeking a path...I am looking for hope, not barbed insults, which is why I stopped posting as much, and could not go to meetings anymore...I became a tolerated oddity, welcomed at first, but the more I would share, the less people wanted to hear. So it felt like I got squeezed out, as I did not have the same idea of a loving HP 'saving' me, after giving it my best shot, and after much reflection.
Well, it was an interesting experiment, but moving forward...now what? I wish there was some other kinds of groups in my area, that met when I didn't work, but having trouble finding any
H. Pup
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Dunno...a social aspect to recovery helps me, but not sure where to find it. Maybe try and start something? But not sure I have the time/energy, at this point. Guess just be lonely?
I asked my therapist, and even he could not think of any alternative discussion groups, and he's been in addictions counseling and therapy for decades. We both find it odd so few options exist. So maybe, try and form something more amenable to atheists, pagans, and whoever else falls though the cracks.
I asked my therapist, and even he could not think of any alternative discussion groups, and he's been in addictions counseling and therapy for decades. We both find it odd so few options exist. So maybe, try and form something more amenable to atheists, pagans, and whoever else falls though the cracks.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome back ((HuskyPup))! I can only tell what has worked for me. I did go to AA (though I was abusing opiates at the time) but I hadn't hit bottom, moved onto crack. I still use what I learned from AA, but I don't go to meetings now.
Truthfully? SR has been my main support as far as RA's go, but I also have some supportive friends and family. I'm also a codie, so in recovery for that. I've taken bits and pieces from what has worked for others. Some things worked, some not so well, but I kinda made my own recovery program.
I think we can all find our way and what works best for us. I've learned from people who have different DOC's, those who believe in God (like me) and those who don't...and they've all helped my recovery, and I try to give back.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Truthfully? SR has been my main support as far as RA's go, but I also have some supportive friends and family. I'm also a codie, so in recovery for that. I've taken bits and pieces from what has worked for others. Some things worked, some not so well, but I kinda made my own recovery program.
I think we can all find our way and what works best for us. I've learned from people who have different DOC's, those who believe in God (like me) and those who don't...and they've all helped my recovery, and I try to give back.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
these are all from our recovery links sticky HP...
http://lifering.org/
SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
S.O.S. Secular Organizations for Sobriety
Anodea Judith: Pagan 12-Step(Part 1 of 4)
When I did quit, I realised I'd been over complicating matters.
The trouble I had with finding something that exactly suited me is... I never did...and all the while I kept drinking.
The most important ingredient of sobriety is no drinking - no matter what... don't be like me and get so caught up in the search that you forget that.
D
http://lifering.org/
SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
S.O.S. Secular Organizations for Sobriety
Anodea Judith: Pagan 12-Step(Part 1 of 4)
When I did quit, I realised I'd been over complicating matters.
The trouble I had with finding something that exactly suited me is... I never did...and all the while I kept drinking.
The most important ingredient of sobriety is no drinking - no matter what... don't be like me and get so caught up in the search that you forget that.
D
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome back HuskyPup.
Not trying to push you into AA or anything you're not comfortable with by any means, but oddly enough your search for a recovery group reminds me of my own seemingly lifelong search for a church that I feel like I can connect with. I found that I have a tendency to search for the perfect church that I agree 100% with theologically, and that this church simply doesn't exist. I have had to learn to be happy with the church I'm at and remember that church is more about the people that attend, and less about the spiritual nitty-gritty details. Sure, there are some basic tenets that are important, but no church will fit my ideal perfectly.
I wonder if maybe your search for a recovery group is similar? Maybe instead of trying to find something that feels 100% perfect you should try to find something that more or less aligns with your beliefs or non-beliefs and try to just connect with the people there.
Then again maybe I'm missing the mark here, no disrespect intended. I do hope you find something that works for you.
Best wishes
Not trying to push you into AA or anything you're not comfortable with by any means, but oddly enough your search for a recovery group reminds me of my own seemingly lifelong search for a church that I feel like I can connect with. I found that I have a tendency to search for the perfect church that I agree 100% with theologically, and that this church simply doesn't exist. I have had to learn to be happy with the church I'm at and remember that church is more about the people that attend, and less about the spiritual nitty-gritty details. Sure, there are some basic tenets that are important, but no church will fit my ideal perfectly.
I wonder if maybe your search for a recovery group is similar? Maybe instead of trying to find something that feels 100% perfect you should try to find something that more or less aligns with your beliefs or non-beliefs and try to just connect with the people there.
Then again maybe I'm missing the mark here, no disrespect intended. I do hope you find something that works for you.
Best wishes
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Are you looking for a sober social group or looking for a way of attaining or maintaining sobriety?
In my book if you are trying to get sober it is what will work rather than what you believe in. The two are not necessarily synonymous.
In my book if you are trying to get sober it is what will work rather than what you believe in. The two are not necessarily synonymous.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by HuskyPup 
So, did everyone wonder whatever happened to 'ol Husky Pup
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hi Husky,
I have checked in on you a few times to see if you were still around, glad to see you back.
I guess I have always scratched my head over why then, and why now YOU keep bringing up a program that didn't work for you. I guess it feels like you're the one trying to pick the fight a good bit of the time, by daring people to disagree with you.
I come here to talk about what does work more than what doesn't. For alot of people here AA did work, so they talk about it. I want to hear more about what DOES work for Husky pup, because that is what is going to help others the most.
I'm a pagan too, pantheist. I use a variety of tools to help me move forward in recovery. Honestly if I were you, I'd put the energy you put into running down AA and complaining that there are not programs tailored to suit your temperment, into your own recovery.
I've found focusing on my own recovery a better investment than focusing on how everyone else is or isn't recovering.
I don't live in an areas with twelve step or other recovery meetings available, but I do find that the twelve step programs, literature, etc are helping me identify what my real issues are. There is a new twelve step book for pagans by Herbert, came out in August that is pretty awesome, as far as I know it's only in e-book form.
I use a lot of other literature, ideas and practices too.
I like you and enjoy your posts and threads, but like I said, I do wonder why you put so much energy into fighting. No one is invested in forcing you into any particular program, but I think a lot of us truly do like you and want you to succeed. We'd rather be friends than sparring partners.
I have checked in on you a few times to see if you were still around, glad to see you back.
I guess I have always scratched my head over why then, and why now YOU keep bringing up a program that didn't work for you. I guess it feels like you're the one trying to pick the fight a good bit of the time, by daring people to disagree with you.
I come here to talk about what does work more than what doesn't. For alot of people here AA did work, so they talk about it. I want to hear more about what DOES work for Husky pup, because that is what is going to help others the most.
I'm a pagan too, pantheist. I use a variety of tools to help me move forward in recovery. Honestly if I were you, I'd put the energy you put into running down AA and complaining that there are not programs tailored to suit your temperment, into your own recovery.
I've found focusing on my own recovery a better investment than focusing on how everyone else is or isn't recovering.
I don't live in an areas with twelve step or other recovery meetings available, but I do find that the twelve step programs, literature, etc are helping me identify what my real issues are. There is a new twelve step book for pagans by Herbert, came out in August that is pretty awesome, as far as I know it's only in e-book form.
I use a lot of other literature, ideas and practices too.
I like you and enjoy your posts and threads, but like I said, I do wonder why you put so much energy into fighting. No one is invested in forcing you into any particular program, but I think a lot of us truly do like you and want you to succeed. We'd rather be friends than sparring partners.
Always, Never & Forever
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 313
Or you could always just create your own path. I got sick of every single program and method; didn't matter if it was AA or a flower, I was flipping mad at it for existing because I just didn't want to be told to do something that I didn't completely choose for myself. So eventually I got sick of relapsing every few days, opened a blank document in Word and wrote down what I was willing to take from all the methods out there, whether it's 99% or 0%. If you're looking for a group of sobers, maybe you could try the never-addicted...you could just be lonely and finding a group of people who share something you enjoy doing could help. I was going to go back to AA meetings for a bit for the social aspect and because of the lack of secular non-12 step groups, but just couldn't put myself through that again...so I go to the gym now instead. lol
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Huskypup – Welcome back!
I like your idea of starting your own group. As you and your therapist describe the situation, there is a significant gap in f2f resources for folks of your slant. I think it’s awesome you would consider filling that gap.
Regarding AA, I will only highlight that SR provides indisputable proof that secularists can and utilize AA to achieve victory over alcohol. Even now there’s an active thread where several agnostics/atheists have shared how they made AA and the HP concept work for them. If you think you might ever revisit the AA path, I’d encourage you to reach out to these people and learn more about how they succeeded. Learning from like-minded people you respect is a far more logical and potentially beneficial path than attending AA meetings and sharing all the ways you disagree with fundamental elements of the program. Amongst these successful “AA Atheists”, I doubt you’ll find anyone who tells you s/he is intentionally combative/contrarian at meetings because there are large swaths of the meetings and/or attendence list that s/he doesn’t particularly care for. And the latter might be perfectly true, but these folks are somehow able to summon an incredible amount of perspective, focus, and maturity.
I like your idea of starting your own group. As you and your therapist describe the situation, there is a significant gap in f2f resources for folks of your slant. I think it’s awesome you would consider filling that gap.
Regarding AA, I will only highlight that SR provides indisputable proof that secularists can and utilize AA to achieve victory over alcohol. Even now there’s an active thread where several agnostics/atheists have shared how they made AA and the HP concept work for them. If you think you might ever revisit the AA path, I’d encourage you to reach out to these people and learn more about how they succeeded. Learning from like-minded people you respect is a far more logical and potentially beneficial path than attending AA meetings and sharing all the ways you disagree with fundamental elements of the program. Amongst these successful “AA Atheists”, I doubt you’ll find anyone who tells you s/he is intentionally combative/contrarian at meetings because there are large swaths of the meetings and/or attendence list that s/he doesn’t particularly care for. And the latter might be perfectly true, but these folks are somehow able to summon an incredible amount of perspective, focus, and maturity.
In my Own Little World
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
I was 10 months sober yesterday. 
. I have went to a handful of AA meetings. The first one that ended in the lord's prayer sent me into a PTSD episode that I completely went off the deep end and spiraled into a bender that almost cost me my job (religious childhood abuse in my background and lots of it). Since, I have went to a dozen different AA meetings always leaving before the prayer part at the end and at every single one where I am at, over half of the people bring BIBLES with them to the meetings and read straight from their bibles. No. Thank. You. I could go on and on about my area as well but that is not what I am here for. Just suffice it to say that with the abuse in my background, AA is not something that works for me. However, the basic 12 step program is with some key adjustments. I am working through a program (of sorts) that is secular-ly based on AA and a handful of other programs with someone that is 30 years sober currently (a sponsor of sorts, even though he doesn't want to call himself one). He pushes and challenges me. I found him on a similar page to this one connecting to other recovering alcoholics. So far, I can truly say that I really am experiencing joy in life, I feel free, and I am actually grateful to be an alcoholic.
I do wish I could find some AA meetings that aren't a holy roller's convention for some face to face support, but for now, what I am doing between the other board I spend time on and SR, I am garnering so much support it's simply amazing. I am also so fortunate to have an ACA (or ACOA) meeting near me which takes a more secular approach to things and is REALLY filling in gaps for me and addressing a lot of the childhood issues for myself that I needed to address.
Good luck and NEVER give up. It took me 5 years of wanting to get sober to finally get there.
. I have went to a handful of AA meetings. The first one that ended in the lord's prayer sent me into a PTSD episode that I completely went off the deep end and spiraled into a bender that almost cost me my job (religious childhood abuse in my background and lots of it). Since, I have went to a dozen different AA meetings always leaving before the prayer part at the end and at every single one where I am at, over half of the people bring BIBLES with them to the meetings and read straight from their bibles. No. Thank. You. I could go on and on about my area as well but that is not what I am here for. Just suffice it to say that with the abuse in my background, AA is not something that works for me. However, the basic 12 step program is with some key adjustments. I am working through a program (of sorts) that is secular-ly based on AA and a handful of other programs with someone that is 30 years sober currently (a sponsor of sorts, even though he doesn't want to call himself one). He pushes and challenges me. I found him on a similar page to this one connecting to other recovering alcoholics. So far, I can truly say that I really am experiencing joy in life, I feel free, and I am actually grateful to be an alcoholic. I do wish I could find some AA meetings that aren't a holy roller's convention for some face to face support, but for now, what I am doing between the other board I spend time on and SR, I am garnering so much support it's simply amazing. I am also so fortunate to have an ACA (or ACOA) meeting near me which takes a more secular approach to things and is REALLY filling in gaps for me and addressing a lot of the childhood issues for myself that I needed to address.
Good luck and NEVER give up. It took me 5 years of wanting to get sober to finally get there.
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