DrivenHeart85

Has anyone stopped drinking and felt like they need something new to give them their daily dose of crazy? All I have to do is live normally and not drink and part of me is spazzing out and saying, "I need MORE than this!"

It's like my drinking and hungover days always kept my mind occupied on drinking or recovering from drinking. Now that it doesn't have either of those, I want attention and I want excitement. I don't want to sit at home and wait for things to slowly improve. I want something new and exciting to feed me. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? lol

I've been wanting to start working out again but something about withdrawal and a 50 hour work week has thrown a few road blocks in my way...also, my inability to wake up any amount of time earlier than I absolutely have to is a slight issue. Anyway, I hope the, "What now/next???" feeling subsides a bit...it's kind of disconcerting. lol

(If you have commentary related to this and it includes a big book, sponsor, steps, meetings, or even cake, I don't want to hear it. If you're mad about my not wanting to hear it, talk to your sponsor. Please and thank you.)

least

So don't sit at home 'waiting' for things to get better - go out and make them better. One of the things I can count on to make me feel better and 'get out of myself' is volunteering. Helping someone else who's worse off than you are. Homeless shelters, food banks, animal shelters - all of them need volunteers to keep going. Find someone worse off than you and do something to help them!

juststopit

I think it is very common to feel like you need something to fill the void left by not drinking. I personally felt very much at loose ends for the first few weeks. I don't really have any advice for you, for me it just seemed to ease a little bit every day.

Anna

I think looking for something external to 'feed and excite' you, will cause you problems.

You need to look within yourself and find ways to make yourself joyous, content, peaceful.

Why not start slowly and set your alarm clock 5 minutes earlier each day. Then get up and do some stretching, yoga type exercises and gradually move into a longer exercise routine? I really found that reconnecting physically with my body was very helpful to me in early recovery. I had been looking at my body as the enemy and I had to learn to trust it again.

LookingForNewMe

Hi DrivenHeart85, yes it does sound familiar to me, and in several ways.

If you are anything like me, you spent a (very) lot of time on drinking. When I don't drink and I am past very early sobriety, I also tend to get restless. It is good to find something with which to keep yourself busy. I like simple games on my phone -- the kind that requires no thinking as I also have a busy job.

But perhaps what you are going through can also be some frustrations with your life and you are looking for some sort of escape from it?

Lastly, it could also be that you are looking to control your mood again -- just like you did with alcohol. I think this is what people mean when they talk about "learning to live life on life's terms".

DrivenHeart85

Yeah, I guess a lot of the "crazy" is spawning from loneliness. I always drank to get rid of the loneliness but I stopped drinking because the drinking was encouraging isolation and further loneliness which I would then drink to get over. So I guess now I have loneliness and no escape from it. Hmmmm. That would explain the restlessness and agitation when I get home from work and I don't have anything to occupy my mind.

I REALLY should workout after work. I think I need to stop making excuses on that because that will help me cope with the loneliness at night and it will help improve everything that I've hated about my life. The drinking made me fat and I've totally disconnected from people because of the extra weight. I still haven't recovered my desire to socialize, judging by the last time I quit drinking, that will take more than 8 months.

So a little bit of action and a little bit of acceptance might be good for me. Go to the gym to help improve things but also accept that I can't always get what I want when I want it. Sometimes things just suck and you just have to accept it.

Opivotal

I was so happy to have the craziness gone from my life. I lived it 24/7 for quite a while. Getting a healthy routine and giving back to others saved my sanity.

Sometimes I had to force myself, but eventually my life was filled with productive hours instead of loneliness and resentments.

I think if you get to the gym, you'll feel better about yourself and be around people instead of isolating.



Best Wishes To You!!

doggonecarl

Much of this is the withdrawals. Your nerves crying for the balm of alcohol.

Occupy your time with your recovery. You will see improvement.

Fandy

I agree...I started shifting my routine around and taking better care of myself...at 3 months sober, I adopted a small shelter dog (adult, not a puppy). THAT gets me out regularly walking and moving naturally makes me feel better...(I also talk to the dog, but that's more for my benefit than his).

instant

There is another part. In my experience that other part doesn't speak as much, doesn't demand attention, or get excited but it does communicate. I have learned to link into it by "noticing what I am noticing". The messages are not literal.

DrivenHeart85

Instant, what are you talking about? Whatever it is, it's going over my head. lol

Dee74

I think I was addicted to chaos and drama for a lot of years - if nothing else I had a steady stream of excuses to drink...I also think a lot of us are used to immediate gratification from grabbing a bottle and changing our mood for years.

One of the things I really needed to learn in recovery was patience, lol.

I had to work harder for fulfilment sober- I had to get off the couch for one thing - but it's worth it...there's a real sense of accomplishment in my life now that I never felt in 20 years of drinking.

I really believe our lives are what we make it - we get out what we put in....
I found it really useful to ask myself sometimes what I was putting in...

so what are you putting in DH?

D

DrivenHeart85

What am I putting in so far? To like recovery? So far, not much...it's only been 4 days and I kinda feel like I'm going around in circles in my head. I'm trying to grow spiritually by listening/reading to Eckhart Tolle books and reading into Zen Buddhism (I'm not the picture of Zen anything right now. lol) And then, I guess I want to address a lifestyle change too. I want to exercise and eat healthy and somehow stop placing a world of negative emphasis on my physical appearance. I also have a big pile of sobriety literature at home that I should be going through.

Dee74

I meant to life

D

DrivenHeart85

I haven't a clue what I'm putting in nor what I should be putting in. 50 hours a week at work, not drinking and ta-dah. I suck at this. lol

pootles

I've gone on a diet and stopped drinking at the same time (10 days sober; 50lbs to lose), and seem to have filled the void by compulsive online shopping, and very early nights (we're talking nine thirty, rather than the usual gone midnight). I'm going to give it a couple of weeks to settle down, and then go to the gym again.

I like the suggestions of volunteering, but I'm too selfish just now and not in a position to offer any voluntary organisation any sort of commitment. Perhaps at some point in future it'll be something to look at.

DrivenHeart85

Yeah I hear ya on the volunteering pootles. Although, I avoid it for more twisted reasons...

Oh, maybe this is one of those open ended questions that I'm supposed to figure out on my own...not quite sure how to put more into life unless I went around hugging trees and such. It's getting too cold outside for that. lol

onlythetruth

It's been a long time since I gave up drinking. For a while there, at the beginning I thought that my tendency to become passionately interested in things was "part of my disease" and therefore a "bad" thing that I had to get rid of. But over time, I've found that this quality I have is not inherently bad; it simply depends on how I use it. If I use it to pursue the drinking of alcohol and covering up the resulting mess, then it can certainly lead to bad things happening. But if, instead, I use it to zealously represent a client, or promote a good cause, or even plan a trip, the very same quality tends to lead to GOOD results.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that self-improvement (which is what we're all after, right?) sometimes means learning to accept ourselves for who and what we are, and not changing ourselves so much as learning to use our qualities for positive purposes instead of harmful ones. I know that today I really LIKE my "obsessiveness", and am glad I have it.

onlythetruth

Oops! Repeat.

DrivenHeart85

Aha! Google is my secondary spiritual source: An article on the twelve steps to a fulfilled life That's how I will live a fulfilling life! Onward! lol


And I do believe there is some self-acceptance that's par for the course like you said OTT but I can't accept being overweight...that's just not something acceptable. I will, however, accept my immature sense of humor and that I'm an introvert...