flyawayfromhere

I could give you a list of about 103 things I hate about AA. But I feel the need to be in a group support atmosphere and AA is all my city offers. SMART is about a 1.5 hour drive away.

How much of a disturbance would I be if I went to AA meetings, didn't call myself an alcoholic, didn't state how long I haven't drank and only attended the meetings as I see fit? I don't want to get sucked in so deep again like I did last time but being around people with a similar problem could help me out.

I've never been one to act like a rebel but having been there and done that with AA, I just want to "take what's useful and leave the rest" this time and not have that saying to be followed by someone else saying "It doesn't work if you don't work it". Oh, the sayings...they just kill me. lol

I know I'm bound to irritate several people there but they say the only requirement to attend AA meetings is to have a desire to stop drinking...so on the other hand, they would kind of have to put up with me...not that I'll be talking much anyway.

ArgentOfSilvae

Hi Flyawayfromhere,

AA is not a country club, there are no terms of membership, as you quite rightly say, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.

You don't have to say 'hi im xxx and im an alcoholic' in fact you dont have to say anything at all. If you want the support then go, if they ask you if you wish to speak, its always best to be polite and answer them so simple say, 'hi my name is xxx and i'm here to listen'.

nor do you have to turn up to every meeting, or even the same group, go as you please where you please, at the end of the day AA is there to help people stay sober, so whatever works works.

AA is many things to many people, If you don't want to work the steps then don't, it is your choice.

Having said that I dont go to AA but i've been and they are a friendly bunch and wont push you to do anything (or shouldn't)

AoS

newby1961

Hey there I think its funny all the comments then well I don;t go to AA but. Lol

Anyhoo I do go to AA and have for over 20 years although I only have 71/2 years. I go through cycles w/mtg's. It seems like when I go to much I start getting judgemental and people irk the heck outta me.

The last year or so maybe more like two I have had a homegroup and have been pretty regular at 4 or 5 mtg's. Well just the last 6 months or so I have copped an attitude w/my homegroup and haven't been in over a month.

I seem to do more on-line mtg's than f2f ones.

Even the clitches get me and I know that sometimes its just my disease trying to mess w/me. Keeping me away from my support group is one way to get me into thinking about picking up again.

I just thought I would share cause maybe someone else can relate? Peace

TwelveSteps

I love AA and couldn't have stayed sober without the face-to-face support. My experience is that it is an incredibly accepting group -- I don't see why you shouldn't attend meetings so long as you're not doing it to be disruptive. Personally, I don't think you will really get the benefits if you are just attending meetings and not working the program, but if you feel it helps you, more power to you. In my area, plenty of NA folks who do not consider themselves alcoholics attend open AA meetings because the times and locations are more convenient, you're not really any different.

And BTW, I don't count "sober time" either (for me, it was too much of an invitation to rest on my laurels -- instead, I focus on what I'm going to do to stay sober TODAY), but in my experience that rarely comes up at meetings.

GG

Nirvana1

The best thing for you would be to get a sponsor and work the steps in you are already going to AA. Your sponsor will be there for you when you feel like you do now, and give you the best advice based on your situation. AA is not always super fun, but if you use it for what it is intended for (step work and big book), it will keep you sober and happy.

ArgentOfSilvae

I had to add that at the end, because its true, i can only be honest in my response. Still, what I said is true, Flyawayfromhere doesn't have to do anything he/she does not want to. The question was do you have to fully commit to the 'AA way' in order to go to meetings and the answer is no.

Good Luck Flyawayfromhere,

AoS

flyawayfromhere

Well, that's the thing with me, I've already gone "all in" with AA. Steps, sponsor, social activities, big book, meetings, meetings, meetings...name anything and I've done it. If "AA extreme" didn't work for me, maybe the "lite" version will.

keithj

Just don't expect to recover from alcoholism by attending some meetings.

ArgentOfSilvae

That is not what I meant Keith, you are correct that no one is going to recover from alcoholism by going to some meetings, its bloody hard work and a lot of it, my point is simple that its not "The AA way or no way!". You do not have to follow a 12 step programme, its not the only way, i refuse to believe that it is. Anyway I am derailing this thread so i will step out now.

again good luck flyaway whatever you do.

AoS

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

AA, recovery, sobriety to me means
its a way of living life without poisoning
myself with alcohol or drugs.

Before I got sober I had little knowledge
of how alcohol or drugs really affects a
persons body. It took family to send me
to rehab to educate myself of its dangers.

28 days was just a tap into my addiction
and has taken yrs of learning, changing,
educating myself, sitting in meetings, listening,
absorbing what it is I needed to do to stay
sober a day at a time.

AA is living the steps and incorperating them
in my everyday affairs. it's not just not drinking
anymore, but rather living an honest life. Not
lieing, cheating, stealing. It's being kind, considerate,
compassionate, loyal, trusting, affectionate, sincere....

I myself am not a bad person. I wouldnt deliberately
go out and hurt someone, yet when under the influence
of alcohol, I was many things to many people.

Dr. Jeckle Mr Hyde personality as an example
but wasnt that bad....its like seeing 2 different
people...the good one and the bad one.

Alcohol contributed to me being the not so good
person and I didnt like it. It took learning to live
life without alcohol and learning how to be that
good person I was meant to be or suppose to be.

Alcoholics are not bad people, just sick with addiction.

I took what I needed in meetings and here online
and use them to my own advantage and sobriety.

I dont need to be buddy buddies with people in
recovery to stay sober. All i have to do is share
my own ESH with others that are still suffering
with addiction the best way I know how. Even
if it is right here in SR.

I share to help me continue to stay sober and if
it helps one more person today, then Ive done
my job today and im still sober.

Plain and simple.

flyawayfromhere

You're not derailing it really, because I hold that same belief. Sometimes I wonder how anyone gets sober in this world of varying views on alcohol addiction recovery or why I even ask questions. It seems the only way you can maintain your own journey towards abstinence is to not talk to anyone about what you're trying to do.

I just hate the alcoholism recovery world. I really do. My hate for it is almost enough to get me to stop drinking for the rest of my life just so I don't have to hear anyone jam their viewpoint down my throat again.:horse

keithj

Agent and flyaway, I completely agree with your viewpoint. AA is not the only way to get and stay sober, it's simply the way that worked for me (and many others). I share my experience with others.

So, what has worked for both of you for lasting, contented sobriety? Share about it. What's been the long term solution that you've found?

tanja

There is no one size fits all or one way to get sober. It's pretty arrogant and condescending to assume just because AA worked for you that it works for everyone. That type of attitude is not supportive and hardly demonstrates the "serenity" so often spoke of in AA.

Mark75

LOL ... really. If that works for you, then by all means...

I don't like everything I hear either. I found meetings where I don't have to listen to a lot of pre-packaged drivel and canned slogans. Just people who have found the solution and share it freely. In their own words.

I am repeled by anyone who try to jam things down my throat. I really hated rehab, which I had to go to for career reasons... because that was what it seemed like they were doing. And, often, that is precisely what they were doing.

I have learned to relax. I go to some great meetings, talk with some great people, share my experience when it's appropriate to do so. When I hear something that riles me up, I take it home and inventory it later.

It's all good.

Nice to have a refreshing new voice with attitude around here!!

808state

AA isn't right for me. I refuse to believe that I am powerless over alcohol, I have the power not to pick up that 1st drink & I choose to do that daily. In 28 months of being sober I have had one relapse, a 10hr drinking binge. I saw people in the rooms of AA work the programme with every fibre in their body & some couldn't manage 28 days let alone 28 mnths.

I will not bash AA, if it works for you then that is wonderful I met some wonderful people in the rooms & heard & learnt some valuable lessons but I looked around the meetings I went to & so so many of the people who attended regular meetings were no where near being sober long term. For me my recovery is MINE, I am the only one who can keep me sober for good, no one else & no programme, ultimately it is my responsibility & mine alone. As I say I am NOT bashing AA in the slightest

Zencat

I attend AA meetings but the 12-step program of AA fails to address all my recovery needs. I do understand that being in a group of recovering people is healthy even tho I trug a different path than others, although I'm heading in the same direction.

I found that when I'm focused on what I need to do in order to stay alcohol free, what others are doing to do the same do not disturb me if their treatments differ from mine.

I hope you can find a peaceful way to resolve any difficulties that may hinder your recovery.

LotusBlossom

I personally don't work any specific program either. I am trying to find a face to face group that I am comfortable with just so I can have some "human" support as that physical, touchiness is lost in the internet, obviously. I have done well in my recovery. I am not working the AA program. I encourage people to do what they need to do for their recovery, be it AA, SMART, Women in Sobriety, whatever it is. Whatever gets you sober, joyful, happy, free, out of your old thinking patterns. I do feel sorry for people who feel the need to bash those who don't work their program for their insecurity shows through. Not everyone needs to see things your way. Have respect for others for it's not one size fits all. Be happy for everyone in recovery. The destination is the same, but the path traveled is not.

I wish you the best as we both try and find an AA group that will take us in and accept us for who we are: a drifter that wants support as a recovering alcoholic and someone who has the desire to stop drinking.

omegasupreme

Most of the people that attend AA where I reside do not follow the AA program. That being said, most of the people that attend AA where I reside do not stay sober.

In short, we would love to have you at our next meeting.

808state

AA gave me human contact & to be with other's who were feeling & going through exactly the same thing I was meant the world to me.

I made sure I volunteered & did tea/coffee service once a week at a local meeting & I would always be the first person to go up to & welcome a new face. The members of the AA group I attended knew that I'd tried to do the steps & knew that for me it wasn't a good fit. Not once did I have someone tell me that I'd fail & go back out there & drink because I wasn't following the programme to the letter which meant a lot to me. I gained insight from my time in the rooms & even if you don't want to get a sponsor & work the steps I would still say go along & try AA if you need some kind of f2f contact.

dawnie24

I'd be nervous to talk in a AA meeting as I can get nervous and start muddling my words up, having a panic attack etc...

I think ppl are brave doin AA meetings and standin up and saying I'm such and such I'm an alcoholic (or is that only in films) I'd be scared or I'd mumble or laugh (I laughed in a school meeting once for no reason and I had to walk out before they kicked me out)