dawnie24

About xmas and new year?! Were you are scared your going to go back to drink because its a special event?!

Dee74

I think a lot of people worry about their first Xmas and New Years - I've had 4 so far tho and I've enjoyed them all - much more than I did when I was drinking

It's all a way off yet Dawnie - you could have a good few months under your belt by then and feel much stronger

when the time comes I know you'll find a lot of support and ideas here

D

dawnie24

I worry in midd of the year lol

Dee74

LOl ok.

Here's a thread with what I think are some helpful tips for the festive season - just replace 'thanksgiving' with Xmas etc

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nksgiving.html

D

Kellye C

From what I've seen it is very common because a lot of us used holidays as excuses to drink. I won't lie, I was terrified my first holidays but my A.A. group stays open around the clock during these times, people bring dishes for a big potluck dinner, meetings, play games, poker, kareoke, etc. Families are welcome and it is a great support to be in the company of sober friends either all day if you need it or just to come in and remind yourself that sober is better.

When I wasn't at AA I stayed busy cooking and interacting with my family and fought the impulses that I had.

Hope this helps,
Kellye

dawnie24

I remember last year I was pregnant and I'd drunk 2 bottles of wine then new year I had all sorts :s but I didn't regret any of it I enjoyed myself but I'm scared of gettin into trouble this year its jus gonna be me my children and other half but I want my mum to come again with my bro and his gf last year was good my bro actually gave me an hug

RyanRed

Ill be honest here and say it these holidays don't worry me one bit.

Some say we use these days as an excuse to drink. Hell, I used waking up as an excuse to drink. If anything, my drinking just fit in with the norm more on these days is all. I drank like it was New Years Eve every night, holidays just allowed me to blend easier ,

Now that I'm sober, naaaaaa these days don't threaten my sobriety. They're just another sober day to me. Sure, people celebrate more, and the wine/champagne we be flowing around, but that's not me anymore. I just guess it all depends on how comfortable you are being around alcohol. Sober time does play a roll here. Its different for everyone But I'm 6 months sober, and doesnt bother me anymore. Talk to me 3-4 months ago, and I would be singing a different tune . I also wouldn't have even put myself around alcohol back then. Knowing your limits is key here. If you are unsure how you will react around alcohol, well that tells me right there you shouldn't be around it. If you have to question yourself, just stay away. Its not worth the risk.

But of course, you are the only one who knows your limits

-Ryan

ArgentOfSilvae

For me, Im not worried (at least not yet, 2 months to go) Ive always drank alot over the xmas/new year period, but as Ryan says, it was just an excuse for me to get up at 8 am and open a bottle of whiskey at 9 (xmas is the only time of year i drink spirits).

But ultimately I use a similar excuse everyday to drink:
'im watching tv, and a beer would go down well with it'
'i'm feeling tired a beer will help me sleep',
'i'm not feeling tired a beer will help me sleep'
'the weather is nice/not nice a beer will make that better'

and so on and so forth

I'm just thinking about today, and i dont want to drink, and its certainly isn't going to make anything better.

Don't stress too much about things you cannot change Dawnie, Xmas will come around regardless, its what you do at the time that matters.

AoS

MsJax

Hi Dawnie. I'm not a big "holiday person", but I'm looking forward to being able to go through them this year sober and in charge of myself. Instead of being loaded and stupid and wondering how I'm going to hide my drinking and keep enough booze in me around family and friends. (all while trying to appear normal)

Visualize yourself going through the motions, sober and confident. Looking good and conducting yourself well. Getting up the next day with no embarrassing regrets and wondering just what the hell happened. You can do it.

There is nothing wrong with saying no to events either. Sometimes staying home is the best choice.

ArgentOfSilvae

Another thing I forgot to mention in my first reply:

Remember that Xmas is for the children (at least in the now modern day sense) How much more would you enjoy it if you could go through the whole day sober seeing them enjoy it? how much more would they enjoy it if you were sober,

something to think about atleast

AoS

BullDog777

most of the holiday anxiety i had was just a bunch of stuff i compounded in my own head to give myself another thing to agonize over. i say that a bit sarcastically because it's our nature to worry and torture ourselves over nothing.

sometimes, most of the time, the things i let really bother me mentally, were things that i obsessed on because i was addicted to the drama that it caused just as much as i was addicted to the booze and pills. sounds messed up? it is, but i learned early on that my brain was something not to be trusted. my best thinking got me a moment of clarity to get sober, but most of my other thinking was indeed toxic and very dangerous to my own well being. because of that... if i thought something, i tended to really try to analyze what my motives for thought was because a relapse could end my life.

i guess what i'm trying to say is early on, your gonna obsess and worry about EVERYTHING. it's what we do as alcoholics. we're by nature, obsessive, worrysome people. i can assue you, that will get better in time.

just try not to overthink this. most of the time all we have to do is just not think about the things that drive us crazy and show up for another sober day. if we do that, 99% of everything else will fall into place.

freethinking

Did I understand you correctly int hat you drank 2 bottles of wine while pregnant and didn't regret it? I guess that surprises me...not the part about drinking while pregnant (we all do awful stuff) but the fact that you didn't regret it. One of the worst things I dealt with in my drinking days was all the anxiety and regret I'd wake up with each morning....even if I had only sent out a dumb email, I felt immensely anxious and upset over it.

I went off on a tangent, sorry! Yes, the holidays worry me. I have about 6 months I think and holidays always get to me. I have done them sober and not sober before and when I do not drink, it feels like booze and images of everyone having a great time drinking are everywhere. It gets the addictive part of me thinking all sorts of incorrect things about how I am missing out, how everyone is having more fun than me, etc. I am worried too, and will have to be a bit more active in my approach to recovery than I have been in the past few weeks.

I think the fact that you are already a bit concerned is a great sign. in "early recovery", I think it's sort of foolish not to be aware of these sort of things ahead of time (for most people).

SSIL75

I was also confused by that. Did we read it wrong?

Anyway I've only had one sober Christmas and it was great in ways (I was sober!) and challenging in others (I was sober!). My advice is not to expect your best Christmas ever. Expect some tears but also some big wonderful moments that you haven't experienced before.

I remember Christmas eve and we had people here who were drunk. I was sober (and pregnant, actually). My then 2 year old woke up sick and I held her in the armchair that's just next to the Christmas tree. We had all the lights off so my little girl wouldn't wake up fully. It was so nice sitting there with her in the lights and feeling her relax back into my arms. The drunk people (just 2) were talking too loud and just not 'there' and I thought... not me, man. I am HERE with my little girl who needs me.

Justfor1

I drank for emotional reason. Whenever I felt pain I drank and drugged. Holidays were not special drinking occasions. In fact, I frequently just stayed home and drank because I considered the drinkers on holidays not "professional drunks".

minorthreat

Exactly. I didn't really even need an excuse a lot of the time. I'd wake up and if I didn't have to work, immediately start drinking, not even thinking about coming up with a reason or excuse. My reasoning was pretty much "because I'm awake and I can."

BennyHill

Hello Dawnie!
I for one am not worried about drinking at the holidays, but I really do understand those that do worry. It's the unknown!
I know it is a cliche, but just go one day at a time, or one hour or minute at a time. Think of your children and how much they need you. Your partner as well!
I'm happy to just put on my paper crown and watch Catherine Tate repeats on Christmas Eve! The sound of Christmas crackers popping is much nicer on the ears than champagne bottles popping!
Hang in there, luv! You are doing great!

BH

switchboard

Last Christmas and New Years were my first sober ones in about 25 years. What helped me was to be sure (to myself) that I understood that there are NO maybes. No drinks. Not even a token sip of wine at dinner, or midnight of New Years. None. No room for negotiation: The answer is simply no, so don't even think about it. The event, for me, is to be completely dry. Period.

Being strict with myself and having a plan really helped me make it through, and I had a nice time ... AND woke up Christmas morning NOT hungover for the first time in forever - It was AWESOME!

NYCDoglvr

Alcoholism is a three-fold disease: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years!

Fortunately I'm the only person in my family who drinks so the holidays were easy. But there were other times like professional situations and being with friends when I had to be careful. My sponsor walked me through these times...told me to always have something in my hand (diet soda or sparkling water), keep it short and leave if things got tough.

It also helps to remember: you don't have to drink. It was astonishing to learn thatl.

Jeff63

That's a good point I hadn't thought about yet. I have been totally abstinant since July so I visit here at least once a day and read the threads. They remind me of what it was like to wake up wanting a drink and the awful feeling I had all the time. The anxiety, hands shaking. So no, I guess I won't have even a glass of wine. For me it won't work. But that's me.

omenapt

it was a nuisance since i am the only drinker in family(or thank god for the sister that would at least entice everyone to a glass of wine) and siblings would arrive at my parents house and IT REALLY interupted my "schedule". how silly to try to cover my drinking in such a way! so the holidays were just an intrusion in my life