ForeverDecember

I just had a strange moment, I thought I'd share

I've been cleaning the house non-stop for the last 3 hours, inspection tomorrow. Finally I decided to sit down in the corner of my computer room and just relax for five. Sitting there I looked to my computer desks - one a dark brown wooden thing, upon which my cat was sleeping, next to it a cheap pine-laminate computer desk where the computer actually sits. On that my "The Crocodile Hunter" stubby holder, next to that a crooked lamp that has never stood straight. On the wall next to is my Bachelor degree and below the cat's climbing tree, and then on the floor the sleeping puppy dog. Behind me on the wall a "World of Warcraft" calendar.

It was so simple a moment, just sitting and looking around but an intense emotion came over me, brought tears to my eyes even! I was just so normal, so completely the way I wanted my life. Usually the desks (both) were covered with empty bottles, the stubby holder holding a beer, the cat climbing tree holding paper and crap because there was no room on the table. The degree has spent the last year in a cupboard, has only just been put on the wall. The floor is clean, the animals sleeping and happy.

And best of all it is 11pm and I was (am) not wasted. In time, one day, my desks will match, my lamp won't lean, and I might grow out of World of Warcraft and Crocodile Hunter, but for right now it was just a beautiful sober moment. It's so nice to look forward to my future, I haven't done that for a long time.

dybehfar

Very cool. I can totally releate. It is an awesome and powerful feeling. It's weird. I too cleaned up by office space in my house (during which I threw out papers and debris some of it many years old). It was if I cleared out my head in the process and could see things in an entirely different light, with meaning, and in proper framing.

A long time ago someone told me that in order to be able to think properly and set your head straight (obviously without drinking involved) you have to be in a clean organized environment. Make your bed when you get up, keep your work areas orderly and you will think more clearly. Obviously lack of alcohol helps us, but I don't minimize the impact of an orderly environment on the mind.

I am gald that you shared this.

least

It's the little things, the little moments of peace and clarity, that mean so much to me.

SSIL75

Wonderful! Thank you for sharing!

Boleo

IMO the real goal of recovery (and spirituality in general) is to learn that both happiness and misery are an inside job. I can be OK; by myself, with nothing other than myself and not need any new "stuff" to make me feel good.

"A man should measure his wealth by that which he does not need".
- Unknown Buddhist author

CarolD

That is so true....I call it serenity....

instant

Thank you. You have reminded me that "ordinary" experiences are so precious they should be cherished