loveon2legs

I said slip on my post because I know it wasn't a relapse...the only thing that changed was that I had a drink in my hand....all the things I have learned in recovery are still with me, and will pull my head above the water... to me relapsing is when you are full on in it again...back to your old ways....and GOD forbid that should happen!!

keithj

Just something for consideration. Are you in control of whether or not that one drink turns into a full-on relapse?

I have witnessed many hundreds of alcoholics do that 'one drink' or 'one night' thing, and continue to not maintain sobriety in the years (sometimes many, many years) following. Yes, sometimes a person can have a one time 'slip' and be back in business the next day. That happens all the time. From what I've seen, though, it's just as likely that the person will spend the next few years trying to get sober again.

beforeMe

I think I agree with you...sorta. I have to go to the dictionary for this one.

"Slip' is actually a synonym for "Lapse". A lapse is pause..

Lapse:
1. A usually minor or temporary failure; a slip: a lapse of memory; a lapse in judgment.

Relapse is the full blown thing.

Relapse
1. to lapse back into a former state or condition, esp one involving bad habits


So techinically there is a difference. BUT, it does not make it any less dangerous, or serious. Once you start down the path of giving yourself permission to "slip", you might as well just give yourself permission to relapse as well. It will happen eventually, just like rain, taxes and everything else.


In the end, it is all symantics. You still have that drink either way. Though I prefer the term 'lapse' to slip. It doesn't sound as blameless or denying.

loveon2legs

I only speak for myself...note how I said..."to me"......

beforeMe

I'm sorry, I was just thinking through typing and [[sarcasm]] blessing every with my undeniable and brilliant intellectual opinion [[/sarcasm]]

I didnt mean to sound like I was lecturing you and after reading my post, I can see how it would come across that way. I just used your quote as a springboard for my own thoughts on it.

Sorry again.

TheOnlyDryPaddy

It might be useful to realize that sometimes people consume alcohol without intending to. I am reminded of a story of a friend who started eating ice cream only to realize that it had been made with real vanilla extract (80% alcohol).

That being said, I don't have much experience with hearing those terms used, so it may be that they are most often used to describe intentional drinking.

PaperDolls

Personally, I don't feel that accidentally eating or sipping alcohol is a slip/relapse.

I do know from my own experience that for me to minimize my drinking gets me into big trouble. I think that's where I was coming from here. To me slip=relapse=drinking. They're all equal. I have to look at it that way or else I'm in big trouble.

BryanS

I take the same view for personal, survival reasons. I am the poster child for "one drink is too many and a thousand is not enough".

yeahgr8

Slip is when use/drink and you get help and move forward within 24 hours of that slip...relapse you are gone for considerably more time and don't necessarily get back in...like KeithJ said though most slips will turn into relapses unfortunately!

Threshold

I've slipped, and I've relapsed. For me they are not the same, initially, but they can both land me in the same place. If I am on a ladder, I could lose my footing, or I could jump off, one is a slip, the other a choice, but if I end up with a broken neck, I end up with a broken neck.

There are times I've slipped into using, and there are times I jumped off the wagon, said the heck with it all, I don't care, gimme all I can get.

And I've had slips turn into relapses, after all, I'm already down, why bother getting back up?

semantics? yes and no. They are both life threatening situations, but there IS a difference to me, in my mind, etc. My mindset before the slip/relapse makes a big difference in how I handle it, how I address it when I sober up again etc.

TheEnd

I don't feel this is like a hat where there is a "one size fits all" type of situation. If that works for you, that's fine, but I don't think everyone has to have that mentality. For some people making a mountain out of a mole hill, makes them jump off the freaking mountain.

ForeverDecember

So far the only addiction I've successfully beaten was smoking, so I can relate slip/relapse to that. I slipped up a few times while I was quitting and had one cigarette. I never relapsed and bought and smoked a whole packet.

This is something I relate to. If I said "I slipped up, I had a night drinking" then I would *feel* like I was still on the road to recovery and keep trying to be sober. When I "relapse" I go "to hell with it, might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" and then go on another bender... the last one lasted for over a year.

I think if your sponsee wants to call it a slip not a relapse make sure she understands that either way she's still on the right path. You get up after a slip, you end up in hospital after a relapse!

Nirvana1

Drinking again is either a slip or relapse only in hindsight. The problem is that every relapse begins with a slip and you won't know until its too late if you've actually relapsed.

stugotz

I got nothing......

JusticeNyne

This is an old post, but someone may stumble across it like I did looking for answers. To me there's a difference between a slip and a relapse. However we are dealing with linguistics, and there's always differences when considering the subjectivity of language and the end users. It's probably a better idea to look at how to make sure a slip does not turn into a relapse. Let's look at AA history and the Big Book.

When Dr. Bob, was getting sober he slipped. He went on a five day bender after some time sober and helping other alcoholics. What made it a slip is after that five day bender, he went straight into making amends. This is also validated in the Big Book, "Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. If you are satisfied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not be alarmed. Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases. Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive." [Big Book page 120, line 6]


The term relapse is used in the BB, however I think there's a difference in the person who slips and then comes back in the room to seek recovery with new vigor, versus the person who slips, abandons recovery, stays out and then has to find a new bottom (or death) before they come back in.

In neither case was the solution to start back at square one and throw of the prior work in recovering (i.e. inventory) out the window.

Applying logic, makes this distinction obvious. You have a person who is on a strict diet not to eat any desserts for a year. After 8 months they have a slice of cake. Now the question is, did they blow their diet? For instance, say after that slice of cake they go right back to their diet and for the rest of the year they go without any desserts. It's asinine to think they blew their diet because of having one slice of cake in a year. However if they have that slice and then go out and eat dessert for the remainder of the year, then yes after eight months of doing well they blew their diet.

The question of a slip versus relapse really points to a deeper issue within AA fellowship. Time sober is not really that important. I know we like to have sobriety countdowns, give chips, and toot our horn about how long we have sober in the program, but that's never been the objective of recovery. Ultimately a person should be judged by the quality of their spiritual walk with their HP and how they apply the principles in all aspects of their life. This will be reflected in their words and actions. This is far more important than how long you have sober.

If a person slips after 10 years of sobriety and doubles their effort toward their recovery after the slip, they could have more quality recovery after a year from the slip than a person with 11 years since their last drink. After all, anyone who's been around the rooms long enough knows a few people with double digit sobriety who likes to prey on newcomers and is a dry drunk. Yet the person with 11 years is somehow higher on the pecking order than the person who used going out as a catalyst to strengthen and enlarge their spiritual life. Logically it doesn't add up

Recovery isn't a numbers game. It's about quality, not quantity. I'll leave with this:

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly."

Longpasttime

I would simply say its about what happens next (actions, not how you feel about it or internal dialogue)

KF85

I don't feel this is like a hat where there is a "one size fits all" type of situation. If that works for you, that's fine, but I don't think everyone has to have that mentality. For some people making a mountain out of a mole hill, makes them jump off the freaking mountain.

Just read through this thread and from my perspective I agree with the above. You can definitely "slip" without relapse. One night and straight back to not drinking without a week or month (or longer) long detour to me doesn't signify relapse. I think for some, one drink does set off the frenzy that can't be stopped, so it feels more like a real relapse, but for others, maybe not so much?

matt4x4

Why slice it different ways.
You believed the lie in your head and you got drunk.
I call it,






I GOT DRUNK...........AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tomsteve

slips happen on ice.
relapses happen on a race track.

ScottFromWI

This topic always gets me a little worked up. I personally dislike any of the terms commonly used to downplay drinking ( Slip, blip, relapse, oops, etc... ) If alcohol ends up in your stomach, you drank - period.

I'm not suggesting that people aren't going to return to drinking during their attempts at sobriety, because we all know that most of us do ( I did, multiple times ). And I"m also not suggesting that one should be shunned/ridiculed/lambasted every time they drink.

But let's be honest and call it what is is - drinking.