Bri

Hello, My name is Bri I'm an alcoholic. Been sober for about 2 months. I've posted on here before that unfortunately, maybe fortunately depending on how you look at it, legal problems have caused my soberiety. I've had 3 OWI's and a public intox. 2 of the OWI's and the PI were within the last year. I am VERY thankful to not be on antabuse! I say that because based on my research I think it can harm your liver as much as booze not to mention cause other side effects. But that's a different topic. Anyway, I did a few months in jail, a month on house arrest and now am in a IOP and attend AA weekly. We are given ETG tests at the IOP I actually am at a point I dont know if anyone can relate to here. I get cravings, but when I think about acting on them I consider the negative consequences of my actions and the bad experiences I have had with drinking in my life. I was a black out drunk, worse late in my addiction. I used alcohol as an escape, a coping mechanism, a way to celebrate. While intoxication provided all of these, it only made things worse when it was gone. Lately, I've been going through some stress, dealing with the whole reality of an alcoholic's environment not changing just because they chose recovery. I get phone calls from old drinking friends drunk, family members intoxicated, lack of respect from those close. All of these are BIG triggers to me. But, somehow and folks with a tear in my eye I will say by the grace of God, I have not acted on them. But that's not to say they don't wear on me. To deal so far, meetings have helped, reading the big book helps, removing myself from negativity helps (although avoidance I know is not the answer, half the time I was drunk I was practicing avoidance) It's just one of those things that I struggle with but continue to stay sober. I dont know if anyone has any advice on how to deal with these types of triggers. They result mainly from interpersonal relationships and professional endeavors. The IOP isn't a party either, but my personal feeling is court ordered programs almost facilitate relapse so they can get more $ and time out of the addicted person, so while I take some positive things away from it, I'd rather just go to AA. Ok sorry I'll quit ranting, a few topics there that just kind of came out. Bottom line, I am actually greatful to be sober right now and while not there yet, becoming proud of the person I am rather than ashamed of the person I was.

CarolD

Yes early recovery is often a difficult time..glad you are continueing
to improve regardless of circumstances....

Advice? not really but I do find prayer immensely calming.
It keeps me in emotional balance.

Welcome back to SR ...

george711

Hi Bri,

congratulations for not drinking today. early in my sobriety I did the 90 meetings in 90 days. not easy for me, but worth it.

George (41 year-old woman, sober 21+years)

MrDavid

Amen...stay connected and never give up hope. We won't, either should you.

Bri

Thanks everyone!