franie

Hi all

I have been without booze since last November. Not always been easy but I have managed not to drink. Have not really been tempted to drink for a long while now and I am so grateful for that. Been seeing a therapist for childhood issues and that is working thank god,. So why am I posting if all is so well.

Over the last month or so a black cloud has been hanging over me. I just have that feeling right at the back of my mind that all is not well, a feeling of dread. I think that I am working well on my recovery, on my relationships with my husband, mother and daughters - but I just feel that I am heading for disaster.

Is this normal, have any of you experienced this. Am I heading for disaster?

PaleMale

In my experience, anxiety itself has been the big problem for me. Generalized, chronic anxiety about things I have no control over. I used to treat it with booze, but ultimately booze made everything worse. Now I use other tools to calm myself and accept my part in life and to enjoy life. Those other tools I call "My Program."

If you focus on the causes of anxiety beyond what you can actually do about those things in the moment, you're only stressing yourself out unnecessarily. Sure, those things require your concern, but stressing out when you can do nothing is simply torture, and that, can certainly lead us back to booze (or whatever former drug of choice).

Take a long walk. Do some knitting. Learn a new piece on the piano (or whatever instrument you may play), meditate for 10 minutes. Do what it takes to get a bigger or smaller picture.

If you sense you are having totally unreasonable chronic anxiety or depression, then you may need more help. All the best, and remember to relax best you can.

NYCDoglvr

I couldn't get sober on my own and crawled into AA. It's the support of alcoholics that got me sober and keeps me sober. Sure, I've felt the same thing from time to time and the quickest way to get rid of it is to talk about it in a meeting. Can you call your therapist?

Boleo

My experience was that every time I stopped drinking, life improved for a few weeks because each day I noticed I was getter better. Then after a few weeks I would reach a plateau where the improvement stopped and the dread kicked in. Sobriety started to Suck!

Looking back, drinking served a purpose. It was like a pressure release valve for me. When life issues became too much for me to handle, I blew them away by getting wasted. In short, drinking was my solution until it started doing more harm then good.

Today, I use self-appraisal, prayer and meditation as my release valve.

eJoshua

Yes I've experienced that. I like to call it a sense of impending doom. According to my experience it's all in my head and nothing ever ends up happening. If it begins to cause you distress I would discuss it with your therapist.

Perhaps part of you is feeling like something should be different as far as your recovery goes, or that you should be "more recovered" than you are now, in which case I would urge you to be patient.

Great job on nearly 11 months, congrats!

franie

Sorry to have left this so long. Wish the impending sense was just in my head. on 27 sept my closest friend had a brain stem stroke - in intensve care for two weeks, unable to breath or even blink. Yesterday she began to breath on her own. Obviously my sense of impeding doom was just a coincidence.

She is my closest friend, she is the only friend that I have told about my childhood. I am the only person she has spoken to about her marriage. We are middle aged - but can laugh and talk as if we were teenagers. I so miss her.
I have sat by her, have fed her kids and comforted her husband, but I feel so powerless. I also feel so angry that something so bad could happen to such a lovely person. She is brave, bonkers, loyal and funny and my life is fuller for knowing her.

I do not believe in god, but please all of you send good thoughts her way.

Miela

Dearest Franie,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Sending good thoughts to you, her, and her family.

Take care of yourself Franie.

M x

CarolD

sorry your friend is so very ill....prayers to her and her family
for you..I'm glad you can help out in this time of sadness and distress.

Had you not been sober...you could not be of assistance.
well done on your progress..

soberlicious

sending my thoughts franie...

xxzzfile

The temporary insanity that precedes the first drink...

sugarbear1

Working the 12 steps helps me.

Prayers sent to you & your friend.

Dee74

Prayers for your friend - and for you Franie.