doublecheck

I have been sober for 9 months now most of the cravings and thoughts of drinking are gone and or alteast controllable. I never realized on how much I am the guy that just listens and doesn't say anything. It seems to me all they want to do is talk about themselves... There are many times that I can actually put the phone down and let my friends and or family talk for 10 minutes straight and not say a word. I have begun backing away from the friends and family that do this but now that it has been so long aka 9 months (some of them have finally realized that I stopped drinking just recently) they are starting to ask me why we don't hangout as much if at all.

Is this part of recovery not being able to deal with people even good friends and family? Or am I just realizing there are some friends and family that I just don't like and if that’s the case what do I do especially with family?

foodie1

I've noticed my threshold for bullsh*t has decreased dramatically since getting sober. You're further along in recovery than me, I'm still dealing with some major mood issues, so I chalked it up to that. Whether it's people being selfish/self-absorbed, overly dramatic, or just plain crazy, I just don't have the tolerance (or numbing agent) for it anymore and I find myself saying so to them (oooooops!!)
I wonder if it's because our own accountability with ourselves has gone up so much? We're on this new path of sobriety and recovery, and in the midst of that, life is still happening, so we're really working hard on being "well-adjusted" good people. Maybe we tend to notice those who aren't living that way a bit more? I don't really know...
I have a strained relationship with my mother and sister that's actually gotten worse since recovery, because I stand up for myself now. I don't have anything to hide anymore, so it's like my words just spill out before I can filter them! They're both very self-centered, way over-the-top dramatic, manipulative people and I finally realized, even though they're family, it doesn't mean I have to take their crap anymore. I still visit and treat them well, they are family after all, but I don't take any of their histrionic games to heart anymore.
I'm sure plenty of people think all kinds of unflattering things about me, but I hope they see through all my imperfections that I really aim to be a good, decent, selfless person. Excepting those who are purely toxic to be around, I'm working on breathing (very) deeply and practicing patience with people's idiosyncracies, b/c I want them to do the same with me.
It sounds like you're a very good friend/family member and they talk to you because they trust you. Perhaps they are being a bit selfish or just playing the part of the talker, like you are playing the part of the listener. Bottom line, if they have good hearts, deal with them, if not, move on.

Boleo

One of the benefits of recovery is seeing just how much delusional thinking we ourselves had. One of the side-effects of recovery is seeing just how much delusional thinking other people have. Drinking tends to camouflage delusional thinking all around us.

That is why learning patience, love and tolerance of others is so important.