More worried about days 10-14, I get angry?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 7
More worried about days 10-14, I get angry?
Hi everyone, I'm new here. Nice to meet you 
I've been a pretty steady drinker for about 10 years. I've occasionally taken some time off just when I feel its gotten a little out of control but one part always makes me go back. I drank usually about half a fifth of whiskey a night. It recently got up over more than that, then the day/morning started then I missed a few days at work to drink and I knew I needed to reel it in.
As I wouldn't mind to quit forever, I'm starting off by focusing on a month, then if that month turns into 2, 6, a year, 10 years - awesome. But right now I'm focusing on a month.
I'm currently on day 4. Have my appetite back, over most of the bad things. Actually I feel pretty great. I know I'll probably have some trouble sleeping tonight and probably some sweats, but that'll subside in a few days.
The issue I have is that usually after about 10-14 days, the smallest things set me off. I'm not violent or anything like that, but my mind just gets so angry. This incredibly frustrates me because usually I don't have a mean bone in my body and I'm pretty laid back and not a lot upsets me. But my mind will just get so focused on something that it'll keep me up and I'll just get so angry inside I can't even think straight.
The part that's weird about it is that it might not even be something that happened! I'll go through conversations in the day I had with people that were perfectly normal, but then I go into the "but what if they said this... and then I said that... then they said this..." Which wouldn't ever happen, these could be conversations with good friends that would do nothing but love me. But I just get so upset by it.
Does this happen to anyone else? I've been reading these forums for years, but this is my first post. I do have an outlet, I go to the gym and run and try to get all of it out, but its usually before I go to bed when I have time to dwell on these things. I'm worried this will happen again and I just hate the person I turn into.
Therapy isn't easy for me, I travel a lot and am in almost a different place each week.
Thanks for any input
I've been a pretty steady drinker for about 10 years. I've occasionally taken some time off just when I feel its gotten a little out of control but one part always makes me go back. I drank usually about half a fifth of whiskey a night. It recently got up over more than that, then the day/morning started then I missed a few days at work to drink and I knew I needed to reel it in.
As I wouldn't mind to quit forever, I'm starting off by focusing on a month, then if that month turns into 2, 6, a year, 10 years - awesome. But right now I'm focusing on a month.
I'm currently on day 4. Have my appetite back, over most of the bad things. Actually I feel pretty great. I know I'll probably have some trouble sleeping tonight and probably some sweats, but that'll subside in a few days.
The issue I have is that usually after about 10-14 days, the smallest things set me off. I'm not violent or anything like that, but my mind just gets so angry. This incredibly frustrates me because usually I don't have a mean bone in my body and I'm pretty laid back and not a lot upsets me. But my mind will just get so focused on something that it'll keep me up and I'll just get so angry inside I can't even think straight.
The part that's weird about it is that it might not even be something that happened! I'll go through conversations in the day I had with people that were perfectly normal, but then I go into the "but what if they said this... and then I said that... then they said this..." Which wouldn't ever happen, these could be conversations with good friends that would do nothing but love me. But I just get so upset by it.
Does this happen to anyone else? I've been reading these forums for years, but this is my first post. I do have an outlet, I go to the gym and run and try to get all of it out, but its usually before I go to bed when I have time to dwell on these things. I'm worried this will happen again and I just hate the person I turn into.
Therapy isn't easy for me, I travel a lot and am in almost a different place each week.
Thanks for any input
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think irritably anger and frustration are common for most of us in early recovery Adobe
A good support system helps I think - SR's a great start - it certainly helped me get through those first few weeks - and gave me a place to vent LOL
Welcome aboard!
D
A good support system helps I think - SR's a great start - it certainly helped me get through those first few weeks - and gave me a place to vent LOL
Welcome aboard!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 7
Thanks. I think the thing that kind of scares me is that I like being a nice guy and I don't want to find out that I'm really just some complete jerk sober and its been the alcohol that's made have some of the characteristics I like.
Thanks for the welcome. Like I've said, I've been reading the boards for years and the amount of help and advice I've gotten from it without even personally posting is fantastic.
Going to sleep for night 4. Big glass of water by the bed in case of the sweats, but feeling good. Was craving a drink earlier when I got home from work. I still need to find my whiskey replacement. Tonight it was an ice cool sprite. Still great, but not quite the replacement I'm looking for. I'll try some ginger ale tomorrow.
Thanks for the welcome. Like I've said, I've been reading the boards for years and the amount of help and advice I've gotten from it without even personally posting is fantastic.
Going to sleep for night 4. Big glass of water by the bed in case of the sweats, but feeling good. Was craving a drink earlier when I got home from work. I still need to find my whiskey replacement. Tonight it was an ice cool sprite. Still great, but not quite the replacement I'm looking for. I'll try some ginger ale tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
I was usually pretty laid back when I had my bottle or was able to look forward to getting my bottle.
The thought of not doing it again became overwhelming. The "noise" in my head telling me "Stick to your word and don't do it" vs. "What the hell do these people know, I'll show them, I can handle it. I just need to man up and control my drinking". Exerting so much mental energy fighting the obsession is exhausting. Exhausting to the point that a gnat farting would set me off. There's probably a lot going on in your body right now, metabolically, hormonally, mentally, and I believe - spiritually. It's the kind of stuff you can't really share probably with your co-workers, so it's all going on within you. You might be wondering WTF is going on, I know I was.
It went away for me but I did do the AA program and enjoy the camraderie I've found in the fellowship, so I have to give that credit and can't vouch for any other way. I hope you find a way - for you.
Thanks for the post, really brings back some strange memories.
The thought of not doing it again became overwhelming. The "noise" in my head telling me "Stick to your word and don't do it" vs. "What the hell do these people know, I'll show them, I can handle it. I just need to man up and control my drinking". Exerting so much mental energy fighting the obsession is exhausting. Exhausting to the point that a gnat farting would set me off. There's probably a lot going on in your body right now, metabolically, hormonally, mentally, and I believe - spiritually. It's the kind of stuff you can't really share probably with your co-workers, so it's all going on within you. You might be wondering WTF is going on, I know I was.
It went away for me but I did do the AA program and enjoy the camraderie I've found in the fellowship, so I have to give that credit and can't vouch for any other way. I hope you find a way - for you.
Thanks for the post, really brings back some strange memories.
LIVING SOBER
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cent MD
Posts: 104
From what you have stated in your self evaluation of your dilemma, the first step of the program should not be difficult for you.
1- we admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable
This may be that difficult one for you, it was for me.
2- Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For the longest time this alcoholic thought that the meaning of this step was for me to stop doing all of the insane things that I would do when I was drinking.
The meaning that I take from this step now is that the sane thing for me to do is to not take the first drink.
Taking one drink and thinking that the outcome will be different this time has become the definition of insanity to this alcoholic.
With this sane thought in my conscience thinking, I had to find a way to
3-Make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of god as I understood him.
When the will of this alcoholic was running this alcoholics life the outcome was usually less than favorable.
I feel the only reason they were less than favorable compared to deadly is that the god of my understanding was watching over me.
I have all my body parts and they all work, somehow I have managed to stay with the same woman for 30 years, I'm still allowed to drive throughout the United States, and I don't have to stay in a room without a handle on my side of the door.
These are not things that the idiot committee inside of my head are responsible for, this is the grace of God for this Alcoholic.
The understanding of these first three steps became the foundation for me in this fellowship.
I hope that this example of my life that I have shared with you will give you strength to start each day one day at a time.
I use the serenity prayer often, and every time that Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde raises its ugly head, I surrendered to the God of my understanding.
1- we admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable
This may be that difficult one for you, it was for me.
2- Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For the longest time this alcoholic thought that the meaning of this step was for me to stop doing all of the insane things that I would do when I was drinking.
The meaning that I take from this step now is that the sane thing for me to do is to not take the first drink.
Taking one drink and thinking that the outcome will be different this time has become the definition of insanity to this alcoholic.
With this sane thought in my conscience thinking, I had to find a way to
3-Make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of god as I understood him.
When the will of this alcoholic was running this alcoholics life the outcome was usually less than favorable.
I feel the only reason they were less than favorable compared to deadly is that the god of my understanding was watching over me.
I have all my body parts and they all work, somehow I have managed to stay with the same woman for 30 years, I'm still allowed to drive throughout the United States, and I don't have to stay in a room without a handle on my side of the door.
These are not things that the idiot committee inside of my head are responsible for, this is the grace of God for this Alcoholic.
The understanding of these first three steps became the foundation for me in this fellowship.
I hope that this example of my life that I have shared with you will give you strength to start each day one day at a time.
I use the serenity prayer often, and every time that Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde raises its ugly head, I surrendered to the God of my understanding.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Posts: 272
Originally Posted by Adobe 
Thanks. I think the thing that kind of scares me is that I like being a nice guy and I don't want to find out that I'm really just some complete jerk sober and its been the alcohol that's made have some of the characteristics I like.
Nice to meet you too!
Congrats on your decision to quit and on your 4 days!
This is so weird - what you describe is exactly what happened to me, but when I was drinking. I'd go over and over all the events in the day, building up all these scenarios, have loads of conversations with myself lol (fighting talk) and work myself up into a right state. It hasn't happened since I quit just over 3 weeks ago. I think I was somehow dealing with things I did not want to face sober - hmmm still need to work on that.
Anyhow. Not your situation. As I read your post I was thinking 'exercise' but you are already doing that.
I guess I just wanted to say that if you are a nice guy you will always be a nice guy :-) Alcohol did not make you nice, and sober will not make you a jerk - for sure not.
I really think, as others have said, that it will take time for things to settle and you just need to go through that anger thing (with some support if that's an option?) and come out the other side. How long has it lasted in the past?
Good luck to you,
BB
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Unstable emotions and unpredictable periods of irritability have been part of the deal for me. I found a focus on gratitude really helpful to me in training myself to look beyond the negative and getting crabby about it. I think there is a long tail to physcial detoxification that goes for at least four months (I am only day 120).
I think your approach is a good one, and re-evaluate at one month.
Sobriety is awesome
I think your approach is a good one, and re-evaluate at one month.
Sobriety is awesome
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 279
People are really emotionally volatile in early sobriety. I know you have relapsed a couple of times because of it but its really important to figure out a way to deal with this if you would like to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
I'm a really laid back patient guy and both times when I had a couple weeks in the results were the same for me. It felt like I had a small fuse and little mundane things would irk me to no end!! Just get a handle on it and know it will pass eventually.
You did a great thing by identifying it and making corrective actions! I've learned to catch myself and stop before my thoughts turn dark.
You did a great thing by identifying it and making corrective actions! I've learned to catch myself and stop before my thoughts turn dark.
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