sobering wake-up call?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: san fernando valley, CA
Posts: 183
sobering wake-up call?
My bestfriend was killed last week. I thought she was on the road to recovery and was avoiding me because I still drink.
I didn't take offense, I was happy for her and I left her alone and gave her, her space.
Come to find out at the crime scene, I learned in the past months of non talking, she met a new guy who was in "recovery" too but the both of them were now drinking heavily and there was physical abuse involved. He beat her to death 2 days before her birthday.
I had no clue any of this was going on. I feel so guilty for not being there. I don't know why she pushed herself away from me? I really thought I was doing good by giving her, her space. Now she is gone and I no longer have a friend. She was my only friend. Been friends since Junior High 19 years. We use to be inseperable.
I want to get sober now, for me, for her and for my kids. I don't want to end up where she did.
I need to quit today!!! I am just so scared to.
I didn't take offense, I was happy for her and I left her alone and gave her, her space.
Come to find out at the crime scene, I learned in the past months of non talking, she met a new guy who was in "recovery" too but the both of them were now drinking heavily and there was physical abuse involved. He beat her to death 2 days before her birthday.
I had no clue any of this was going on. I feel so guilty for not being there. I don't know why she pushed herself away from me? I really thought I was doing good by giving her, her space. Now she is gone and I no longer have a friend. She was my only friend. Been friends since Junior High 19 years. We use to be inseperable.
I want to get sober now, for me, for her and for my kids. I don't want to end up where she did.
I need to quit today!!! I am just so scared to.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Well (((((Scared))))) it can be and is scary.
However, I have to tell you that a bit over 30 years ago, I found my recovery in the San Fernando Valley. At that time AA was the only game in town. However, I have been back many times since.
Still see folks that were sober when I got there and folks who got sober when I did and after I did. It is a REALLY AWESOME NETWORK in the Valley. You can call the AA central office on Van Nuys Blvd and ask them for some meetings near you, and if you are fearful you can ask for someone to take you to your first meeting. Yes, they still do that in the Valley.
I would suggest though that when you STOP that you see your Dr prior to stopping, or if you want to attempt it on your own, have a 'friend' stay with you that can get you to Olive View Hospital in a hurry. They are still the 'best' in the Valley when it comes to their ER and Detoxing.
PM me if you want more info and I can probably get you some folks to talk to in your area.
You can do this!!!!!
And I guarantee your life will be so much better without all those toxins in your body and affecting your mind.
Love and hugs,
However, I have to tell you that a bit over 30 years ago, I found my recovery in the San Fernando Valley. At that time AA was the only game in town. However, I have been back many times since.
Still see folks that were sober when I got there and folks who got sober when I did and after I did. It is a REALLY AWESOME NETWORK in the Valley. You can call the AA central office on Van Nuys Blvd and ask them for some meetings near you, and if you are fearful you can ask for someone to take you to your first meeting. Yes, they still do that in the Valley.
I would suggest though that when you STOP that you see your Dr prior to stopping, or if you want to attempt it on your own, have a 'friend' stay with you that can get you to Olive View Hospital in a hurry. They are still the 'best' in the Valley when it comes to their ER and Detoxing.
PM me if you want more info and I can probably get you some folks to talk to in your area.
You can do this!!!!!
And I guarantee your life will be so much better without all those toxins in your body and affecting your mind.
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: san fernando valley, CA
Posts: 183
Thank you Laurie,
I have tried quitting many times now. Seems like every month I say this is the time then it isn't.
Just losing her in this way and I know the assault must have been alcohol or drug related. He must of been black out drunk or high to do this to her.
It opened my eyes. I don't want end up in her situation. I drink too much and I black out, I could accidently kill someone. then what would happen to my poor kids???
Now has to be the time.
I have tried quitting many times now. Seems like every month I say this is the time then it isn't.
Just losing her in this way and I know the assault must have been alcohol or drug related. He must of been black out drunk or high to do this to her.
It opened my eyes. I don't want end up in her situation. I drink too much and I black out, I could accidently kill someone. then what would happen to my poor kids???
Now has to be the time.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Condolences to you. As a survivor of domestic abuse, be aware that the abuser is very manipulative and will ensure that the victim seperates from family and friends. It wasn't your fault in any way.
Choose sobriety for you, it will help you immensely.
Prayers, peace, and love sent to you. (((Hugs)))
Choose sobriety for you, it will help you immensely.
Prayers, peace, and love sent to you. (((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Scared, I am SO, SO sorry for your loss. It's a huge wake up call for you, and I am so glad you are taking it and using it as something for yourself. I can't think of a better way of honoring your best friend than sobriety.
Treat yourself gently.
Best wishes
New Wings
Treat yourself gently.
Best wishes
New Wings
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm so sorry scared1 - it's painful enough to lose a friend without it being under those circumstances.
I think honouring her memory by living sober is a wonderful idea for you and her both
D
I think honouring her memory by living sober is a wonderful idea for you and her both
D
.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 91
im sorry to hear about your friend 
you asked in your OP why she shut you out.. that's very common for someone in an abusive relationship to do. their abuser likes them to be isolated, and that's an easy thing for alcoholics/addicts to do, in recovery or active addiction. i don't know your friend or you or anything but what you posted, just my 2 cents.
you asked in your OP why she shut you out.. that's very common for someone in an abusive relationship to do. their abuser likes them to be isolated, and that's an easy thing for alcoholics/addicts to do, in recovery or active addiction. i don't know your friend or you or anything but what you posted, just my 2 cents.
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