Scrubmuncher

Well, I seem to be more capable of not drinking if I stay in bed and watch TV and use the computer. It seems as soon as step foot outside of the house and I'm not unwell I head straight for the drinking hole, no matter where I am going if I pass a bar I am magnetized to it. And so, for the time being I think if I can get my partner to understand I need to stay out of normal life while I get through a couple of weeks without drinking, I have a box of sleeping aids and can do this, if I am left to it and helped to remain out of circulation.
Is this crazy, asking too much, none productive or what? Am I thinking straight or just plain out of my tree?

Mark75

It is reasonable to do what you have to to quit drinking. I would suggest that your plan include more than the TV and Internet, and the box of sleeping aids concerns me a bit...

Perhaps stock up on some recovery related reading materials and some kind of support group and some face to face help.

You are gonna have to step outside eventually. Maybe not do this alone.

yogaisland

Is there a different way you can drive home? Where you won't pass bars? I know that my main way home has me passing the liquor store I used to buy two bottles of cheap champagne at every Wednesday, and while I didn't change my route, I did make it a point to always be on the phone with someone or to fiddle with the radio as it was coming up, so that I would not stop. And on days I am tempted to hit happy hour as I leave work, I drive into Chick Fil A and get an ice dream cone instead. Silly, I know, but it tricks my brain into thinking "you got what you wanted."

Anyway, what I'm saying is that you don't need to stay out of normal life, but you do need to have some strategies for what to do when cravings hit. It, of course, is a good idea to avoid situations with alcohol for the time being. I keep getting texts and invites to go to the new bar in town where all the regulars from my dad's bar (closed down in May, coincidentally I was finally able to sober up after that) now hang out. Even though I know I could go & just do karaoke, even at 2 months sober it's too much of a risk to hang out in a place where the purpose is simply to get drunk.

It's good that you've realized what works for you at home. Me, I played a lot of Nintendo DS because it required both of my hands to be full. Being at the computer was too tempting because right hand goes on the mouse, left hand holds the wine glass! If laying in bed on the laptop works for you (didn't think of that, can't get up to get wine), then do it. Depending on what kind of sleep aid you are talking about, it's not necessarily a bad idea. Tylenol PM is fine to use - I've used it when anxiety keeps me up. If it's something controlled like Lunesta or Ambien, then no. Replacing one addictive substance with another is never a good idea.

Good luck and definitely keep us posted on how it's going.

JimE

I agree with Mark. It's reasonable for the time being and reading some recovery related material would be good. This site is just that. There are also recovery books you can read online. Going into treatment back in '87 I realized after being there awhile that it was basically an introduction to AA and NA but I'd paid for a 28 day stay. It was a bit of a culture shock when I left treatment and went into the real world again. There were no temptations inside the center to drink or use but once I got out...well.

Best of luck with getting started in recovery.

gravity

AA and counselling is what worked for me so that's what I suggest.

I could only avoid "triggers" for so long in early recovery. I felt at risk for the first several months. Walking past a bar was a huge accomplishment so I get where you are coming from.

After about 6 months, sanity started to return (it really is insane, not being able to walk in front of a bar without getting drunk). Also, it was almost 2 years until I was able to go inside a bar, hang out with my friends and drink water (no temptation to drink alcohol).

How important is your sobriety? You will only get back what you put into your recovery.

Best wishes!

Reset

The "stay in my room with my computer" approach actually worked pretty well for me. I had to get up and go to work most days but aside from meeting with psychologists and going to work, that's about all I did for nearly 3 weeks.

I found SR early on in the process and that helped a lot. I also had tons of books, magazines and movies to keep my mind busy. So if that's what it takes, do it.

Beebizzy

I'm doing the same - abstaining from life for a bit. Here's how it breaks down: reading (self-help/recovery books), sleeping, internet (SR mainly), solitaire for some serious mind-numbing and DVDs.

My problem is not feeling guilty about it (I've made a lifestyle out of guilt) and not feeling like I should do 'worthy' things with the time (like clean the apartment). My cats are fed and cuddled and my dishes are done. That's all I can manage.

Outside? Shops and doctor and that's it.

Next challenge (but not yet): walking in the park.

Good luck.

sugarbear1

I went to 3-4 aa meetings a day. Do what you need, but put a limit or you may get more fears of leaving the bed. People have an innate desire to be productive, but we can inhibit our own growth.

How long have you been sober as of today? Evn in a 30 day rehab there is a daily structure/routine.

AA speakers are online. Also books like Alcoholics Anonymous.

Best wishes!

bellakeller

I would not put any pressure on your partner to keep you sober. That's not fair to her and will probably backfire on both of you.

If your plan is to stay out of the real world for awhile why not go to rehab? There you won't have to do this all by yourself, you'll learn some coping skills and sober tools from experts and you won't have to drag your partner through your mess if you're in a safer place to heal.

Sugah

We live in a wet world that doesn't show signs of changing anytime soon. I couldn't change the world -- I had to change me. I like bella's suggestion to go to rehab. At least there, you'd have a safe place to start making the changes you'll need to make if you ever plan on venturing out into the world again.

Also, I had to face up to the fact that my condition affects all those around me. Whether it's my bad alcoholic behavior or what can be, in early recovery, a sort of obsessive self-centeredness ("I need to do X, Y, & Z, even if it makes your life tougher. Sorry about your luck."), I had to learn to live with the consequences of my decisions and actions. It's not at all unusual for people to leave us when we're still drinking, but a fair number of folks find themselves alone when they try to get sober with no other discernible changes. The same person will drink again (and the same person isn't any fun to live with).

Peace & Love,
Sugah

babycat

I too use this approach but I find the longest I can go doing this without going mad is about a week. I am fine right now cuz I am in the middle of finals so I cannot go out at all. I know my friends will be calling me this weekend waning to "celebrate". I have been practicing my decline for days. I feel strong right now but I have that tendency to buckle.
I would LOVE to go to rehab, would not hesitate for a second. Its all a matter of money tho.
But yeah, isolation seems to work for a while,lol. Its better than drinking.

Hobochk

No, you're not crazy, I feel the same way right now. I've only been sober 17 days. At night I get in bed and play online Scrabble or watch TV. I don't keep booze in the house so that helps. But I agree with staying out of commission for awhile, I went to a wedding last weekend (had to) and that was hard. I'd rather just be a hermit for a little while. Because at the rehearsal people were asking me to drink (takes awhile to live it down). Have to decide what I'm going to tell people. So, in short, no not crazy.

chicagoJ

It's strange, but I have the same symptoms in the opposite way. I drink at home and no matter what I do I can't seem to resist the urge to drink when I'm there, at my normal drinking times. But, when I'm out doing things I never drink. I could even go to a bar and order soft drinks all night without drinking.

I don't test that theory much, but I think our brain chemistry adapts to our habits. Abusive substances like Alcohol make our brains work in artificial ways and the mind adapts to this and says, "This is necessary for survival, I'll remember to do this again next time I'm in this situation." So, keep in mind for many people this isn't just a bad habbit, but you are battling your brain chemistry that has been changed due to drinking.

I can't say how it will be with you, but it's possible that if you stay home and sleep you may still feel the urges to go out. That's what happened for me. When I would go out and try to avoid my dangerous place (at home), I would still plan to pick up beer at some piont and go home with it. It seems that avoiding drinking triggers isn't the same as addressing the real problem as to why you drink.

Also, using sleeping aid doesn't sound like a good idea. Some of those medicines can be really harmful to people who drink.

Whatever you do, best of luck.